


For Pity

by superwholocked_wizard



Series: For them [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abused Loki, Angst Loki, Consolation, Consort Loki, Dream Torture, Eventual reveal, F/M, Fluff, Graphic Descriptions of Torture, Hurt Loki, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Kid Loki and Kid Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Mentions of Blood, Nightmares, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Odin is a bad person, PTSD, PTSD Loki, Panic Attacks, Post-Thor (2011), Queen Sigyn, Scared Loki, Slave Loki, Stop - Freeform, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Thor is a good brother, Vanaheim, Vanaheimr | Vanaheim, chained Loki, comfort time, consoled loki, consort au, descriptions of torture, descriptions of violence, eventual love, good queen, ice giant loki, if you don't like torture avoid chapter 21, kinky i know, loki gets tortured, loki is a consort, loki is hurt, loki was abused, maybe smut, mentions of abuse, nightmare torture, no unconsentual sex, not sure, odin why, odin wtf, only consent in this house, possible panic attacks, sigyn and loki - Freeform, sigyn as queen, sigyn gets tortured, sigyn is nice, someone (me) give loki a hug, someone hug loki, torture in dreams, tortured loki, tortured sigyn, trigger warning, unwilling consort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 59,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholocked_wizard/pseuds/superwholocked_wizard
Summary: When Sigyn is visited by the Allfather of Asgard, what she expects is some sort of democratic meeting about the joining of their people, what she does not expect is to have offered to her a bruised and bloodied man as a consort, who is chained up at the bottom of her throne. Whilst she is disgusted with the treatment of the man, she finds herself considering the offer. Not for democracy, or peace, but for pity on the poor fellow.Little known to her, she just agreed to bring into her palace Odin's second son out of pity, and soon finds out that the bruises he carried on him when he was offered to her go further down than just the skin."I think I’m gonna cry if I read that, but I’m gonna do it anyway cause I like pain." - My friend, on hearing the summary





	1. For the sake of others

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just quickly want to say that I was inspired by the work of http://nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com/ and her consort AU with Loki and Sigyn, and have received permission to write this fic from her. Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> PS: go and check out her art! It's awesome!

Sigyn, queen of Vanaheim was completely unimpressed with the ‘peace offering’ that was currently chained up at the foot of her throne, panting and coughing on her silk robes and looking away in either frustration or humiliation. Either way, this man was clearly not as willing a peace offering as Odin had previously said. Perhaps it was the bleeding, cut eyebrow or the bruised jaw which was covered with a mouthguard that gave it away.

Odin himself was standing to the side of the throne room, looking rather impressed with himself, his eyes flitting from the chained man to the unimpressed queen of Vanaheim, waiting to gauge her reaction.

“Why have you brought me this… slave.” Her cool voice rung out clearly and carried down to the end of the throne room, making all who heard her words shiver slightly. It wasn’t a question, more an expression of disgust.

“My Lady, he is not a slave,” Odin said, stepping forwards slightly to gesture towards the man on the floor, “he is an offer of a consort to unite our people.”

At this, the man on the floor snarled and tried to lunge forwards Odin, only to be pulled back by the guards who then held his chains taunt in fear he would attack again.

Whilst Odin jumped back at this slightly, Sigyn leaned forwards to examine her ‘gift,’ careful to take in his features slowly. She did admit, once his cuts and wounds had healed, he would be most pleasing on the eye, with his raven hair falling gently to frame his face, sharp cheekbones to match a strong jaw and fair skin which made green eyes glow. He had an air of royalty about him yet he lay upon the floor in tattered rags which hung poorly on his starved frame, and revealed cuts and bruises going from his head to his feet, almost as a decoration. The mouthguard, or muzzle as it seemed to be, was only barely holding back whatever scalding comment he seemed to be trying to make, either way his eyes seemed to be doing the trick by burning holes in Odin’s head.

If not for peace, then perhaps for pity, but Sigyn actually considered the offer.

“What are you wanting in return?” She saw Odin tense beside her as she called out his so-called ‘extension of a hand of good faith,’ and heard the man below shout out in his muzzle in alarm and try and struggle against his bonds in fear.

“My Lady this is simply an extension of a hand of good fai-“

“I’m sure your invented story is truly fascinating however I don’t have time for lies, cut your falsity and get to the truth please.”

Odin sighed, pressing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose.

“Queen Sigyn, this is a most delicate matter,” he paused before sighing deeply “and I ask, for the sake of my son, you simply accept the offer.”

Sigyn simply snorted in response and shook her head, amazed at Odin’s incomprehensible need to rid himself of the man at the bottom of the throne. She looked back at said man and saw him gazing at her with pleading eyes, a desperate attempt to escape whatever was being forced upon him in his own realm.

Not for Odin, not for peace, but for pity.

She nodded to both the guards and they let go of the chains, letting them rattle to the floor. The sound of the metal colliding with the cool wooden flooring ricochet of the walls of the palace before leaving an echoing silence, leaving the man collapse on the floor at the sudden slack of his bonds.

Sigyn descended the steps leading to her throne and crouched in front of the man, gently taking his face in her hands and lifting it enough for him to be able to look her in the eyes. Her hands went to the back of his neck and unclasped the muzzle mechanism and gently pulled it from around his jaw, throwing it behind her when it had finally been pulled away.

She carefully raised his head slightly more, only to notice long bruising around his neck which looked suspiciously like finger marks, wrapping around almost the entirety of his neck. All the while, her new ‘friend’ was quietly complying, flinching any time she made a movement too sudden.

After what seemed an age, Sigyn stood and gestured towards her handmaiden, Amora, and whispered to her to assist the man to the healers and to fix him as best they could. She then turned to Odin with pure disgust unhidden and running rampant upon her features.

“Know this, I do this not for you, but for the poor man you tormented, and for the knowledge that he should be safer here than in his own home.

Odin flinched at her remarks, but none the less remained within the same spot and withstood her scalding glare.

“And I’m sure my son would thank you for it My Lady.” Sigyn snorted in response, trying to remain somewhat composed.

“Your son? How on earth could your self-entitled brute of a son be happy that I’ve taken what you would consider the scraps of your people?”

Odin gave a humourless laugh and began to walk down to the entrance of the room, trying his hardest to exit before any sort of fight or scene could be caused between the two royals.

“Well, why don’t you ask the scrap?”

As the door closed behind him, Odin heard an angered scream, followed by something hitting and rattling the wooden doors which had just let him out, causing him to jump and set out on a faster pace of walking than what he would normally set.

Sigyn strode through the halls of the vast palace, taking well memorised twists and turns which would normally baffle anyone who didn’t know the palace, before she finally ended up at the door of her best healer, pausing only for a moment before slowly opening the door to not make her new guest afraid. If she went what he had, or at least what he noticeably had, she would be fearful too.

Gently, the door gave way and let her slip through almost silently before it shut itself with only a small sigh from the ageing wood as any sort of protest. Sigyn turned to face the scene in front of her, only to see her healer bent over the new addition to the court and whispering out some sort of healing spell which Sigyn vaguely remembered her mother using once. Amora, who was stood simply beside the doors entrance grabbed one of her wrists steered her away from the bed and to a secluded corner in the room.

“My Lady, perhaps it is not the best idea to crowd our guest.” Her voice was lowered and her eyes kept moving from her queen to the stranger laid down on the cot in the middle of the room.

“Why so?”

“Because he almost hit me for speaking behind him,” Amora turned back to the man and sighed, “He’s clearly been through a lot.”

Sigyn shook her head and looked towards the man who seemed to be making a clear effort to stay completely still.

“Has he said anything?”

Amora shook her head.

“In time my lady, for now he shall rest.”


	2. Only time can tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn consorts with her lords and ladies about the unexpected guest she has now invited into the castle. whilst the lords and ladies are apprehensive, she finds their fear simply tedious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOO so basically this is already the best received fanfiction i've ever written and it only had one chapter so here's another! No loki really in this one but he is sort of being healed, tons of loki in next chapter, enjoy!
> 
> fanfiction inspired by: nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> sophie xx

After leaving the presence of her new company her healer, flanked by Amora, Sigyn strode back to the throne room, and just before entering she took a sharp turn to the left and flung open the doors to the conference hall, where her many advisors were bickering over the polished wood table. To be perfectly honest, that table had prevented more violence than the soothsayers of the royals.

As the doors slammed open, singling her entrance in what would be called a dramatic manner, and drawing her lords and ladies away from their many arguments. Amora peeked over Sigyns shoulder to see men with faces redder than the cherries which came in the summer months and the ladies with lips thinner than cheese strings.

They all stood and bowed deeply, before returning to their seats and waiting for what their queen was about to say.

“Continue.” She said, waving her hand at her council.

And yet, contradicting her simple command, complete silence followed. All in the hall looked apprehensive to recommence the previous conversation, either in hope not to anger the queen, or in self preservation tactic.

Sigyn lowered herself into the seat at the head of the conference table and surveyed the people before her, all fidgeting in their seats and biting their tongues.

“My Lady, it seems your council has been made dumb by your words,” Amora jested, before taking her seat next to Sigyn and folding her hands on her lap.

Many of the people in the room elected to respond in silence, as they had before done to her previous comment, some with carefully hidden glares to Amora who was smirking next to the queen, and some by looking down at their laps as school children would do if they were afraid of being picked on.

Sigyn turned her attention to an elderly lord whom had always enjoyed quarrelling her decisions.

“Lord Balimire, your opinion?” The lord stiffened in his seat and apprehensively turned to the queen, trying to create a half baked excuse in his mind in the time it took him to rotate his head.

“Well, my lady, you see, perhaps…” he trailed off pathetically, not having been given enough time to create a convincing lie.

“Perhaps?” Sigyn said, waiting for him to answer the question.

“Perhaps it isn’t wise to accept some street rat from a king known to be hostile.” Lady Laurelie piped up from the end of the table, drawing all eyes to her.

“My queen, with all respect, you have granted a complete stranger unlimited access to the biggest stronghold in Vanaheim, a stranger given to you by an opposing realm. The lords and ladies were worried of what that might entail and wondering how you would prevent an attack from said Individual.” Lady Laurelie stopped, looking round at the others at the table expectedly. 

Everyone had suddenly bowed their heads in shame, trying to ignore the queens intense gaze burning holes in their heads. Of course, she could burn holes in their heads if she wanted to, however she seemed satisfied with simply making them extremely uncomfortable.

“And if I were to not accept his offering, what would you suggest I do with said offering?”

Her court straightened and looked at each other frantically, trying to come up with some ulterior to keeping what they considered to be a stray Asguardian in the royal palace. overall, the royal council looked more like a school of fish pulled from water rather than some of the most powerful people in the realm.

Sigyn allowed herself a small smile, barely lifting the corners of her mouth, before standing abruptly and clapping her hands together merrily.

“It’s settled then, he’ll stay.” A series of protests arose from the table as many of the lords and ladies stood in frustration however they were instantly silenced by the raising of a hand from Sigyn.

“He is staying, that is final.” She turned on her heel, her silken robes fluttering behind her, before striding through the door in the same fashion she entered, leaving her entire if a stunned silence at the abrupt and sudden manner of the meeting. 

Amora rose slowly, dusted off her robes, gave a quick smile to the council and followed her queen at a leisurely pace, before finally realising how far away Sigyn truly was, at which she burst into a short sprint to catch up with her.

Panting, she leant carefully on one of the walls as Sigyn stopped to look at her handmaiden with an expression somewhere between sheer amusement and curiosity.

“My Lady, with all due respect, your dramatic entrances and exits are far harder to keep up with that you would think.” Sigyn snorted before quickly trying to regain her composure.

“I’m not worried about you keeping up, more that they aren’t making enough of a statement.” She quipped back, a smirk gracing her features.

“Oh they do make a bold statement,” Amora said, resuming the walk at a leisurely pace, “Don’t mess with me or you’ll get a cape to the face.”

“Or a fireball.”

“Yes that too.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, their footsteps echoing off the halls of the palace as they made their way to the healer, and thereafter to Sigyn’s personal chambers. They passed many doors, each identical to the unobserving eye, and Sigyn counted them as they passed by, naming them all with their purpose in mind. Just as she had done when she was a child, being pulled along by a nursemaid or her own mother.

Amora was watching Sigyn, noticing the crinkle of her brow as she muttered under her breath, either revising some sort of speech she had to make at this event or that event, or possibly an argument between herself and some lord with a pole lodged up his rectal cavity. Amora quite enjoyed watching those arguments, as she got a kick from watching some ratty old man having his place made explicitly clear to him.

“What do you make of him?” Sigyn interrupted the silence, voicing said thoughts which she had previously kept to herself.

“Of whom?”

“The man at the healers, Odin’s ‘gift’ of sorts.” She seemed to hate the words she was using to describe her guest, and yet no better ones appeared to her.

“He’s handsome, seems to hate Odin quite thoroughly so you’ll both get on splendidly,” Amora paused, taking a brief moment to compose her words, “He’s… hurt. I doubt he’ll be able to sleep properly at first, and I’m sure trust won’t come easily-“

“Well yes his own king beat him within an inch of his life.”

“Precisely.” Amora said.

They had arrived outside of the healers, both of them turning to face each other and waiting for one to say something. Sigyn was fidgeting with the sleeve of her robes and trying to think of something to strike more conversation. Either to avoid going in, or to prompt her to open the wooden doors leading to her guest.

“Odin said, ‘consort’…”

“Yes, My Lady?”

Sigyn looked back at Amora who was stood patiently, waiting for her to continue. Sigyn went to open her mouth, then promptly shut it.

“My Lady, would he be a consort?”

Sigyn sighed and gazed at the doors.

“Perhaps, only time should tell us such things.”

At that, she turned to face the room, shielded still by the strong oak wood, straightened her robes, placed two hands on the left door and pushed it open.


	3. Call it curiousity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn walks into the healers room to find a distressed guest slinking in the corner in fear. Whilst comforting him (and perhaps using her empath abilities to assist somewhat) she finally learns his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOOOO so basically it is alluded to that Sigyn has empath abilities in this chapter, and whilst that will be talked about more, it will be in several chapters time so sorry :D
> 
> inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her loki consort au, check her out!
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> enjoy!! sophie xx

The first thing Sigyn noticed stepping into the room was the faintest smell of burnt flesh which wafted around the space like a disease spreading between hosts. The second thing was a large scorch mark around the bed which her guest had previously occupied, and the third was her healer casually folding a blanket in one of the corners of the room, opposite to where her guest was currently huddled into in an almost protective stance.

Sigyn was frozen on the spot, staring directly at the fearful green eyes which were darting around the room, scanning for any sort of danger. As his eyes landed on the new arrivals into the room he jumped and scrambled to get even closer to the corner, perhaps trying to make himself seem invisible.

Whilst this entire situation was extremely distressing, in the sense that her guest was so afraid of other people that he had chosen to hide in a corner and possibly hurt himself, he did seem to have been healed quite well and no more bruises were noticeable upon his chest. Of course, without the bruises to distract from them, Sigyn could see scars littering his neck, chest and below the knees, where his ‘trousers’, or rags, ended.

Sigyn took a tentative step forwards, trying to make as little of a sudden movement as possible in order to not frighten the man.

“Hello my dear, are you alright?” He was still frozen, his chest heaving and his eyes wide and panicked, trying his hardest to fit in with the surroundings without actually disappearing. He seemed surprised and completely dumbfounded that Sigyn was actually talking to him.

“My lady, who are you talking to?” Amora asked quietly from behind her.

Sigyn turned to face Amora, who kept glancing in the general direction of the corner, but her eyes seemed to pass over the spot where the man was huddled in.

“Ah,” Sigyn turned back to the man and crouched down, about 4 meters away from him, making sure that there was enough room between the two that he could escape if necessary, “If you could make yourself visible please?” 

His tongue darted out quickly out, almost like a nervous tick, before shaking his head slowly.

“Love, no one in this palace wishes to cause you harm.”

She could see him consider, his eyebrows scrunching together as if he seemed confused by the notion that he wasn’t in immediate danger. He clenched his fists so that the knuckles turned white before closing his eyes and turning his head away. A green shimmer enveloped him, sweeping over the surface of his skin, before dimming and leaving the man in the same position he was in and looking no different than he did before.

Sigyn turned to Amora and her healer to see both of them with eyes staring directly at the man with looks of pure shock masked upon their face. Amora had her hand over her mouth and was trying to conceal her surprise however the healer seemed frozen in spot.

Sigyn looked back at the man and found him to still have his eyes closed, and his arms wrapped around himself in a protective nature. He was still trying to keep himself small as if the illusion was still being maintained, or to make himself a smaller target to hit.

Sigyn slowly extended her arm towards him, only just enough to make the gesture noticeable, and relaxedly opened the palm of her hand, as if trying to coax an animal out of a hiding place or a child from under covers after they have endured a nightmare.

He still wasn’t looking.

“Love?” Her voice was sweet and smooth, soothing as he remembered his mothers voice being when she was trying to calm him after he got hurt. He looked up to see a woman kneeling away from him, not a guard, not Odin, but a woman, the one he had seen on the throne earlier, who had looked at him with pity rather than disgust. He briefly wondered if she knew who he was, and if not, how would she react when she found out.

Slowly he uncurled himself from the protective ball he was in and stared at her hand warily, as if it may either bite him or burn him should he touch it. He carefully shuffled forwards, putting him on his knees, before he extended his arm towards Sigyn. 

Their hands were barely apart, skin almost touching, before their fingers touched and the man felt a sense of calm flood through his very being. Whilst he did feel some sort of a nagging fear in the very recesses of his mind, screaming at him that last second he was completely on edge and something was afoot, he did not find the ability to care with such a sense of peace.

Slowly he leaned further into her, his shoulder eventually connected with the crook or her neck and he relaxed into her, his entire body almost completely drunk off this pure tranquility. Sigyn wrapped her arms around his neck and held him carefully, afraid of the effects of her touch wearing off should she move too suddenly.

“What is your name my darling,” she whispered into his ear, trying to keep the spell intact, “who are you?”

He gave a little giggle into her shoulder and shook his head slowly, not bothering to answer the question. He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her hair, enjoying the smooth, silky texture caressing his skin.

Sigyn of course was used to this, should she try, she was sure she could get a man to faint simply by looking at him, however she found that whenever she tried to console, said victim of the consolation found her touch intoxicating till after she removed herself from them. So she sighed, and let him hold her in the first embrace he must have had in a while.

“Love?”

“Hmm?” He was practically falling asleep, drowsy and finally coming down from whatever adrenaline high had kept him going for so long and allowing himself some sort of rest.

“Who are you?”

He laughed cruelly this time, a sort of laugh Sigyn wasn’t used to hearing from people whilst in her embrace. She was used to the sleepy laughs, the kind laughs, the tinkling laughs that ran like bells through the room, and the pure joyous laughs that filled the space and were completely infectious, however cruelty was foreign to her in such a context.

He brought his lips to her ear.

“You don’t want to know, no one ever does.” Sigyn felt her grip tighten on the stranger, a horrible feeling of despair filled her as she heard the mans proclamation. 

“I do.”

He looked at her, astounded at her will to understand, or simply because he had lost the ability to think. Either way, the only way Sigyn could properly describe him in that moment was a babe that had just been crying, eyes still watery blue and not understanding why it was left to wail, yet still in awe that it had been rescued by its mother. 

“Are you a Valkyrie? Is this Valhalla?” Sigyn shook her head gently.

He sighed and leaned back towards her ear, his breath tickling it by blowing small strands of hair into it. She daren’t move them in case it should frighten him off again in one way or another.

“Loki.”

He whispered it like a sin or a secret, something that someone shouldn’t know, as if it were completely forbidden to simply exist as himself in any way shape or form. Sigyn could have sworn she had heard such a name, and yet answered alluded her. His entire form was tense, waiting for some sort of negative reaction such as rage or fear, or perhaps disgust. Instead Sigyn simply continued to hold him. When no anger came, Loki relaxed once more, still holding on to the queen. Eventually she felt him fall asleep, exhausted by all that had happened within the past day and perhaps the past lifetime. 

“Amora?” Amora stepped forwards from her spot behind the queen, where she had cautiously been watching the ‘guest,’ or Loki it seemed, wearily.

“My queen?”

“Take him to my chambers and see that there is food and drink, and fresh clothes ready for him when he wakes.” Sigyn whispered, desperate not to wake Loki, who had slipped and was now curled up on Sigyn’s lap, his back to her stomach.

“So you’re letting him stay?”

“Yes.”

Amora shuffled her feel, clearly wanting to ask something.

“May I ask why, My Lady?”

Sigyn gave a little smile and looked down at the sleeping form of her guest. She had seen him enraged when they first met, then fearful and then completely vulnerable by how he allowed himself to sleep in front of her. Granted she did help him relax. Yet there was something still guarded in that vulnerability which she wished to know more of.

“Call it, curiosity.”


	4. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up in a foreign bed, in a foreign palace, in a foreign realm with nothing but a pair of trousers on and a sever sense of confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! here's another chapter (Longest I've ever done!) hope you enjoy it!
> 
> as always, inspired by: nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her consort au
> 
> my tumblr is ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> enjoy! sophie xx

Loki awoke with an incredible headache which seemed determined to split his skull, throbbing and everlasting. He wasn’t sure where he was, realm or room for that matter, but for some reason he felt more at ease than usual and somewhat less cold, which given his biology was extremely rare especially due to the recent starvation which he had suffered. He tried to shift slightly only to find that there was some sort of weight rested upon him, not in an imposing manner, but still noticeable. Loki opened his eyes and was greeted by an array of green and blue cloths interweaving above his head creating a sort of canopy. Little spots had been neglected however, and small pricks of light came through, creating the illusion of stars above his head.

Loki felt his mouth twitch upwards slightly, enjoying simply looking at the canopy above his head. He sighed and turned to the side, being greeted by more green and blue material, shielding him from whatever lay behind it. He tried sitting up only to feel a tugging in his abdomen.

Shuffling above the sheets, he saw a scar stretching from just below his trouser line to his ribs which seemed to have been burnt in order to seal it. Perhaps that was what the infernal pain was from yesterday. He couldn’t quite remember what happened, just pain, then waking and ending up in a corner. He had hidden himself and the healer had left him alone till two women came in and one of them had talked to him-

Wait, she had seen him.

Whilst he was in an illusion, hiding himself from the outside world she had looked at him as clearly as if he had not been disguised. He knew that the spell had worked, the healer and other woman were shocked when he had revealed himself, and yet, that woman.

The woman who has sat on the throne above him, draped in gold and teal, who had thrown off his mouthguard and commanded that he should be instantly seen to, who had looked upon Odin in pure disgust, who had somehow managed to completely calm him to a sleep, a queen, holding someone who would have been seen as a rat. He had told her his name and yet here he was, in a bed rather than back in the dungeons of Asgard.

A door opened to his left, unseen due to the curtains which surrounded the bed. Two sets of footsteps were distinguishable, one with heeled shoes and one soft, padding pair, possibly with leather boots, the soft footsteps first then heels followed.

“Should I wake him my lady?” This voice was foreign to him, one that he barely recognised but not enough to put a face to.

“No Amora, leave him to rest,” That voice he recognised. It was the one who had convinced him from the corner, sweet to him and others, but still capable of venom as he had heard within Odin’s presence, “He’s been through enough.”

He heard shuffling of the leather on wooden floors, walking towards where he lay, prompting him to close his eyes and imitate sleep. He felt a breeze as the curtains opened just barely enough to let a small sliver of light in, and yet there was still a shadow, possibly one of the two women. 

He heard a gentle sigh where the shadow was, before the curtains were closed once more, leaving him in privacy and almost complete darkness. He could tell the one with the leather boots was pacing because he heard gentle, rhythmic pats along the floor, going from one side of the end of the bed to another.

“What if he doesn’t wake up? Or if he has a nightmare? Or if he reacts violently?” The worry in her voice was evident, seeping into every word almost like a virus.

Loki felt somewhat touched that a complete stranger was currently pacing around a room, worried about his wellbeing. Considering it was something not even Odin did, even before Loki tried to invade Midgard, it was odd to hear someone he had barely met somewhat fearful for his wellbeing.

“My lady, should any of that happen I am sure you are more than capable to deal with it.” The other voice, Loki assumed was Amora, piped up from where she was stationary placed in the right corner of the room.

The queen hummed in response, clearly not satisfied with what Amora said and finding herself even more stressed than she was before. She felt herself flop into the chair beside Amora and bury her face in hands. She understood why she was so stressed, a side effect of being an empath was that, after the touch had ended, she could feel what the person she had effected felt before she had touched them. When she had let Loki go, she had felt immense pain rage through her abdomen to her ribs, as well as an all consuming fear which physically prohibited her from doing anything for about 2 hours. Of course, it clearly wasn’t effecting her as much as it had effected Loki, who had slept well through two days, always in the same position every time she would check on him. She had started getting worried in the dawn of the second day when she came from the guest chambers she had been occupying back to her chambers to still see Loki fast asleep, and yet there was nothing she could do, so she simply let him sleep.

“What if-“

“My lady, he is fine I assure you, and either way worrying about his wellbeing won’t make him any better.” 

Sigyn huffed in response, as a child would if it had just been told that it couldn’t have another cake or confectionary, or if it were forced to sit through another meeting between adults, or a conversation which they didn’t understand. Still, Sigyn would rather sit through another one of her mothers meetings or conversations that deal with the crushing fear that after everything her guest simply wouldn’t wake up.

Loki, still laying completely still, realised that at some point he would have to give up the pretence of being asleep, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to move, for fear that if he was seen as healthy and awake, he would be forced to leave, and that the queens pity was only shielding him for as long as he was injured.

He tried his hardest to think of some sort of way to slip past the two women unnoticed, and perhaps leave whilst he still had the ability to without chains, however most, no, all options involved cloaking himself, and considering that the queen seemed to be able to see past his spells and illusions, he elected to simply remain in the bed for the time being.

Finally, when the boredom began to set in, Loki decided simply to roll over, rumpling the sheets enough for it to be noticeable yet still not enough to make it seem that he was fully awake yet. He heard a sharp intake of breath and furniture creaking ever so slightly. 

Alright, he’d humour them.

Raising his hands above his head, he went to stretch, before feeling the tug of his scar again causing him to hiss. 

He shuffled into a sitting position, trying his best not to put any strain on the wound that seemed to still be healing, despite having been somewhat melted together. His head fell back slowly on the material at the back of the bed, pleasantly surprised to find a wall behind it which gave him something to lean on. He inhaled slowly and let out a gentle breath in order to try and calm himself. In reality, his heart was ready to burst through his chest, desperate to find out if he should be allowed to stay or be thrown out as he had been by his adoptive father.

“Hello?” There was that voice again, ringing through the room apprehensively.

Loki sat in the bed, wondering if perhaps he should just say silent and wait for them to leave. He decided against it.

“Hello.” He replied, his voice croaking from the apparent two day sleep he had taken. He heard a sigh of relief from behind the curtain, possibly of the queen, followed by a chuckle which sounded like Amora.

He heard her boots shuffle from where she appeared to be seated to the end of the bed, slightly drawing the curtains apart before pausing and clearing her throat slightly.

“Is it alright if I…” if he had to imagine her, she was probably awkwardly gesturing at the curtains with her head.

“yes.” She continued to pull open the curtains to reveal the queen.

Considering the previous meetings they had, he hadn’t truly had time to take in her appearance, whilst he did have a sketchy face to the title, he still hadn’t seen her properly.

Her fiery red hair was cascading down her back, somewhat curled and furled in some places, yet held back from her eyes with a flattened wreath of gold leaves which started behind her ears and ended just above her hairline at the top of her forehead. Her eyes were piercing into him, and yet even as he looked right into them, Loki could swear that they were more colourful than the Bifrost bridge that hd brought him here. There were flecks of green, blue, grey and brown scattered through them, catching the light in different ways. Her skin was littered with freckles in such a way that Loki was almost certain that they covered her head to toe, making her appear somewhat wild, and yet the air of royalty that all in positions of power had hung upon her in a way that made her seem so tame. The gown she was wearing was the shade of a deep sea before a storm, yet the light material allowed the peach colour from her under robe to seep through and make the material seem almost green. It hung off her shoulders before being wrestled into place just below her ribs, clasped by more gold leaves which seemed to be her favoured decor, then pouring back out, and elegantly landing on the floor.

Truly, she was fit for the term goddess.

The worry wrinkles that he had previously seen on her forehead were gone and were now replaced with a kind smile and crinkles of joy around her eyes. He could tell that when she got older those lines of joy would forever remind everyone how happy she was.

She looked Kindly upon him and nodded her head slightly, before gasping and running for something to the side, which Loki could not see. 

She returned not a moment later with a tray of food which made Loki’s stomach growl. There were fruits so ripe they could only have been picked for her, cheeses and meats piled onto different plates for his choosing, as well as a goblet which he suspected was filled with either wine or mead. His entire being was screaming at him to launch for the plates yet he still felt a shadow of doubt fill him.

“Where am I?” 

Sigyn could see fear creeping up on him once more, perhaps fear of rejection or even fear of her, either way she put down the tray carefully and sat in between the open curtains, ready for whatever conversation Loki wanted to have, lengthy or not.

“Vanaheim.” She said, shuffling to make herself comfortable.

“No, not the realm, but where am I right now?”

He saw her pause, then chuckle slightly at the misunderstanding.

“Well, you’re in my chambers currently in the royal palace.” He felt his mouth drop, confusion clouding his expression.

“But don’t worry, I’ve been staying in another room, and only myself and Amora have been in or out.” 

At that, a mass of blonde popped its head in and grinned at Loki, who was still sitting confused in the middle of the bed, no, the queens bed. He wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or afraid, due to how he couldn’t completely comprehend to why a queen would give up her own chambers for someone who had just been dragged into her castle with no warning whatsoever.

Finally, he found himself able to utter a single word.

“Why?”

Sigyn looked upon him in confusion, trying her best to formulate an answer on so little information.

“Why what?”

He looked up into her eyes, his green one’s reflected back at him, complete bewilderment plastered upon him

“Why did you let me stay?”

Sigyn felt a lump instantly form in her throat, so upset that even in the face of it, the man in front of her couldn’t understand simple kindness, simply because it was directed towards him. Swallowing the lump, she tried to think of something to say other than ‘i felt you needed to be helped,’ electing that it should sound too much like a rescue of a puppy rather than helping a person, so instead she turned to him and sighed.

“I don’t know, you needed help and I felt I had to help. You were alone and you looked at me in a way that made me fear for you. Maybe it was because if I had not taken you, and you had died, that would have been my fault, maybe its simply because it was a selfless act. Maybe its some sort of fate rubbish people are constantly talking about,” Sigyn took a breath and looked down at the embroidery on her comforter, “Either way, if you wish you can stay for however long you like, no one would cast you out anymore.”

She looked back up to see Loki looking down at the embroidery himself, with small tracks of moisture running down his face from where tears were falling.

She stood up and rushed to the other side of the bed, pulling back the curtains and pulling him into a hug, not for using her talents, not to calm him down, because sometimes all someone needs is to cry, but simply so that he could be held. She wrapped one arm around his neck and one around his waist, trying her hardest not to hurt him, yet he didn’t seem to care for pain when he brought her closer to him, his head in her neck crying quietly.

As she held him, she heard him utter quietly over and over again two words which made her entire being cry for what this poor man had been through. As he sobbed it into the shoulder of her dress, wetting the material, not that Sigyn cared for that, she felt herself place a gentle, reassuring kiss on his forehead, whilst he continued to repeat those words again.

“Thank you.”


	5. Minimal damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn gets worried about Loki's constant confinement and decides to go and visit him to make sure he is alright, only to find his room ransacked, but not by intruders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry its been a few days but schools a bitch
> 
> here's another chapter!
> 
> as always, inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her loki consort au
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.com
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> Sophie xx

Loki didn’t like leaving his room.

It had been one week since Sigyn had told him he could stay, and 4 days since he had insisted on going to the guest bedroom and letting the queen back to his personal chambers, and yet within that time Sigyn had only seen him twice, first to request to change rooms and second when he came to her room and asked where the library was. She was constantly worrying if he was eating enough, however Amora, who delivered his breakfast, lunch and dinner at the queens request, assured her that he was indeed eating, and whilst less than they expected, it was better than nothing. 

It was on the 7th day of hearing nothing from him, save those two conversations, when Sigyn decided to go and see for herself if everything was alright. Whilst she understood his need for privacy, she couldn’t help worry for him after what she had felt after calming him in the healers room. 

She was pacing outside his door, trying to think of the best way to either start a conversation without directly saying ‘I’m worried about you, are you alright?’ And yet, nothing came to mind except the exact words that she was thinking.

Slowly, she exhaled and raised her fist to knock on the wood separating her and her guest. She gave two dull knocks on the great oak before taking a small step back, waiting fore some acknowledgement of the knocks. When not answered, instead of going and knocking on the door immediately, she waited her mothers mandatory 35 seconds. 

“Its a politeness,” she used to say, looking down on an impatient infant Sigyn, who would usually whine and try and knock again.

28… 29… 30…. Her foot started fidgeting under her gown, tapping ever so quietly and yet quite rapidly, to match the pace of her heart.

32… 33….34..35

As soon as the counting in her head hit that number, she took a brusque step to the door and gave three sharp raps before stepping back once more. Vaguely, she heard shuffling around behind the door, perhaps in the physical bed, but she couldn’t be sure. More shuffling and then the opening of a door to reveal Loki, but he wasn’t… Loki. He was, different in a way she couldn’t describe. His skin was shimmering and constantly changing as if it were some sort of mirage. It went from pale, to a green shimmer. At one point she could have sworn she had seen a flash of blue and a bright red eye, and yet it vanished the moment it appeared. Each time it switched from one area to a millimetre to the left it gave her a flash of a headache.

“My Lady?” He, it inquired.

She walked closer to the mirage and gently pressed against it, watching it dissolve in a flurry of green light. Whilst she expected only him to disappear, she did not expect the entire room to light up with a shimmer before evaporating to reveal a circular radius of bowls, books and sheets surrounding the bed, leaving the centre of the circle to be completely empty of everything save the bed and the white curtains adorning it.

Instantly she ran in, drawing her dagger which was hidden at the hip of her gown, with easy access through a slit which was present in all of her clothes, should it be necessary. She surveyed the scene, trying to look for some sort of sign of intrusion, blood, anything that could indicate a struggle or even a kidnapping, and yet all she found was disturbed bowls of fruit and books with pages ripped out forming a disturbing circle. It was almost ritualistic.

She turned around, surveying the scene, and trying her best to imagine what on earth could have happened and yet, nothing came to mind. Sigyn walked to the other side of the bed, looking for any sign on Loki, only to stumble right upon him.

He was sat in a corner, a common occurrence it seemed, with closed eyes and calm facade. His head was leant back on the wall which seemed to be the most comfortable thing in the world right now and his arms were casually draped across his knees, and though he looked quite relaxed, his tightly clenched jaw and fists that were tangled in part of the tunic he wore.

As Sigyn took a step towards him, she saw his eyebrows quickly frown, before going back to their original shape.

“How do you keep doing that?” His voice broke the relative silence of the room.

“Pardon?”

He opened his eyes to reveal green orbs looking at her in surprise and perhaps a little curiosity.

“You can see past and break my illusions, how do you do it?” 

She sighed and found herself giving him a half smile and kneeling down, almost as if they were two children simply engaging in a quick chat. Rather than respond to him, she opened the palm of her hand and released little tendrils of green light, which rather than stay still, danced around the room, searching for something to latch on to.

It extended out and twisted in the same way one would imagine the current of the ocean moving along the water, sweeping everything away gently and creating beautiful patterns of different greens, from dark emerald to light teals, mints and leafy greens, every shade dancing to create a beautiful display of light.

eventually, Sigyn let the light fade and closed her hand, before looking back at Loki to see his curiosity replaced by wonder.

“You’re a sorceress?”

SIgyn smiled, a fuller smile this time.

“What are your abilities?” He was interested now, slightly being drawn out of the corner.

And so the conversation began, the two of them comparing spells and natural abilities, and which ones were more powerful. Loki told her of his illusions, chameleon and shapeshifting, and in return, Sigyn told him of her empath abilities, the ability to ‘see truth’ in a sense, as well as her foresight. Both were giddy to finally talk to one another about such things, so much so that the state of the room was almost completely forgotten. 

“Do you get side effects?” This was Sigyn’s question, curious to see if she was the only one who sometimes had to limit her use due to how it could effect her later on.

“Everyone does I suppose, I get fatigue when using illusions for too long,” he paused, somehow they had both ended up on the bare bed, cross legged and facing each other, “but the more I practise, the easier they are to maintain.”

Sigyn sighed and felt her back curve and her posture worsen. Of course, it was illusions not emotions, and the effects didn’t seem that bad for him.

“You?”

Sigyn wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him, afraid that perhaps it wasn’t wise to tell the man she helped ‘i felt your intense emotional burden and that weighs me down and makes me fear for you.’ None the less, she digressed, and found herself explaining the drawbacks of being an empath and a seer.

“When I comfort someone, after the physical touch has ended, I find I can feel whatever was weighing them down, and sometimes that becomes a bit much,” she wasn’t quite looking him in the eye, “and foresight isn’t always a gift, I saw my mothers death years before it happened, in my nightmares, and yet I couldn’t prevent it.” She didn’t cry anymore for her mother, she had plenty of times before, and whilst it did hurt her to think of her coronation, one week after the death of the woman who raised her, she still lived on, as did all who encountered death in one way or another.

“Sometimes I see people whom I’ve never met die, and I know it has yet to happen, but still. Some are simply nightmares, and some come true. I’m not sure which is worse. If they die, I can simply move on, if not then I worry.”

She looked up to see Loki giving her a knowing look, as if he understood such a predicament. Of course he might have known death but she was sure that he didn’t completely know the feeling of watching a loved one die, and completely expecting it. 

“So when you calmed me…”

He was somewhat apprehensive, either to know if he caused her any pain, physical or emotional, or simply because he didn’t like that someone could control him so easily.

She laid her hand over his in reassurance, giving it a light squeeze. 

“Only for a while, it goes away eventually.” 

This seemed to comfort him, whilst only slightly, still visibly. He seemed to relax into her touch, maybe because it had been so long since positive touch for him, or perhaps she was an exception only because she was able to calm him, either way she kept the hand reassuringly placed on him.

After a while, the silence above them lifted and they resumed asking each other questions. Of course, Sigyn brought up the ruined room.

“So, what happened?” He looked down, ashamed somewhat.

“I had a nightmare.” His head was bowed as a Childs was when it professed such a thing. His voice was small and timid, almost if he was embarrassed or ashamed that such a small thing could cause such a strong reaction within someone like him. A sorcerer frightened by such little things as dreams. 

Of course, Sigyn could completely understand. When she was younger and had nightmares of fires, or deaths, before her family were aware that she was a seer of sorts, she would dismiss them and simply put her bad nights sleep down to tossing and turning, afraid that if they saw her own mind made her afraid, she wouldn’t be ‘worthy’ in a sense. 

She nodded, trying to prompt him to say more, only to find that he had been struck completely speechless with a will to stop sharing anything whatsoever. Its almost as if the revelation of him having nightmares was almost too personal for his liking.

Instead of staying in silence, Sigyn found herself compelled to start revealing the intensity of her own nightmares, somewhat against her will.

“Everyone has nightmares, even royalty.” He gave a sort of a sniff which she couldn’t quite decipher, but suspected it was sort of dismissive.

“No truly, sometimes I scream myself awake and Amora informs me I’ve almost woken up the entire palace. Sometimes my room ends in the same state as yours, thats why my curtains are so thick, to reduce the damage.”

She looked over to see him smiling tenderly at the mattress, possibly in thanks that he didn’t have to deal with such a mundane thing in a world of royalty alone.

“If you want, I can get you some, if you would like them.” Loki looked up astounded, still not used to Sigyn’s kindness. In his world, nothing came without a price, and yet she seemed to.

“Well, at least that way I’ll cause minimal damage to the room.” Sigyn gave a breathy laugh and looked at him through her lashes.

“We’ll cause minimal damage together, I guess.”


	6. And so, they slept.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Sigyn end up discussing elements of their past, as they seem to do regularly now, however Sigyn stumbles upon a realisation that leaves her quite enraged, and Loki witnesses the true hatred of a queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN 12 HOURS BITCHES WHOOO i stayed up till 00:30 for this I'll have you know
> 
> I'm on fire
> 
> anyway here's a little angry Sigyn for all of you, because gods know what happens when you piss off a queen.
> 
> inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her wonderful consort AU
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> longest chapter yet! enjoy
> 
> Sophie xx

Luckily, Loki seemed to somewhat break out of his pattern of solitude after Sigyn’s visit, however only to talk to her it seemed. She found that sometimes she would wander towards his chambers, knock on his door and hear the reply of ‘I’ll be there in but a moment’ simply because she was bored, and to his word, not a moment later the door would open and there would be Loki, in one robe or another, usually in green, with some book under his arm.

They would lay on her bed and talk for hours about anything but politics, either their mothers, or perhaps Loki’s father, or her lack of siblings and how he envied her slightly for it. One day they simply spent hours talking of music the remembered from their childhoods. These little moments Sigyn came to appreciate, as they offered a simple break from the everyday bustle and allowed her to simply relax on her bed and talk. She did do such things with Amora, but she simply wanted to talk of the lords and ladies of the courts and which ones were more likely to die first in an attack. Whilst entertaining, it wore thin somewhat quickly.

One night, they were both in her room, Sigyn spread rather widely at the end of her bed and Loki with his forehead against the end, leaving them close together but not enough to cause discomfort between the two. Sigyn had an arm draped down the side which would occasionally brush Loki’s shoulder, should she shift, and one laid across her waist nonchalantly. At some points, she would look down on Loki and meet his eyes with hers as they spoke, him looking somewhat like a hound puppy, and Sigyn lavishly reclined upon her bed. Overall the entire scene gave off the air of a renaissance painting.

They had begun to play a game in which one of them told as many truths as possible, and one lie, and Sigyn found herself to be exceptionally good, and Loki, somehow, exceptionally horrid. So far he had guessed that she truly didn’t have a birthmark on her right shoulder in the shape of a star, he thought she truly had never had a pet and thought she had a distant father. All in all he had almost given up completely.

“Go on, its your turn.” Sigyn was sleepy, and playfully nudged Loki’s shoulder with her pinky finger in a somewhat graceful, somewhat lazy fashion.

“No, I seem to always lose.” Sigyn laughed and shifted so that she could look upon him better.

“Its not of loosing or winning, its to better know each other silly.” Loki snorted a little. Overall he was doing better than when he first arrived. True to her word, Sigyn had the curtains installed and now they only ever had to truly replace a fruit bowl. His cheeks were less sallow and his shoulders stuck out less, somewhat rounding out, with the occasional bone which caught her attention.

“Alright,” he looked up at the ceiling, searching for something to say, before he found himself giving a sad smile, “Alright, I’ve never disrupted an official palace ceremony on purpose, I’m Odin’s son, and I have never turned into an otter.” He turned to look at her, noticing the small crinkle between her eyebrows which loved to appear when she was trying to concentrate.

Sigyn herself felt her heart hammering in her ribs, and was trying her hardest to seem somewhat impassive and confused, however she felt Odin’s words returning to her like water flooding through a dry riverbed, drowning out anything else that may have rested there. “I ask for the sake of my son,” not Thor, but perhaps her new friend whom she had taken in on a whim of pity. Discarding all these thoughts, she returned to the present, curious and interested as ever.

She brought her finger to her lips in a false manner of thinking. Overall she tried to be as falsely dramatic as possible, not to trick Loki but to lighten the impending revelation of either who his parents were, or who they weren’t.

“Your father… isn’t Odin?” She was somewhat apprehensive, waiting impatiently for the answer.

Loki gave her a half smile, before turning to face the wall. 

“To be fair on you, I did cheat.” Sigyn leaned on one of her arms, confused as ever.

Loki sighed, his eyes still unyieldingly trained on the wall in front of him.

“I am both Odin’s son, and not Odin’s son.” Sigyn waited with bated breath, desperate for some sort of explanation. She found she was leaning slightly towards him and yet still trying her best not to overcrowd him, and allow him some sort of distance.

“When I was younger, not even younger, when I was a babe, I had all but been left to die, and rather than let an infant starve, he brought me in.” He stated simply, almost if it had been, and Sigyn suspected it had been, rehearsed.

“So you are both Odinson and not?” He nodded, eyes still holding their target. 

A stunned silence filled the room, mostly on Sigyn’s part, however Loki did not think to try and interrupt her train of thought. He found that he’d of rather have silence, as opposed to shouting or perhaps even a simple ‘get out’, in fact he had not wanted to divulge the information at all for fear she would perhaps throw him out, and yet he had eventually decided, maybe the queen of the kingdom he was so graciously granted to be a guest in should have some idea as to where he originated.

“He hurt you.” 

Loki was stunned by the response, but not only that, by the rage which laced every syllable and seeped from her very being behind him. He heard complete disgust and anger as well as a large amount of fear for some reason.

“Yes.”

Loki heard a sharp inhale of breath behind him and a sudden movement, causing him to flinch slightly. He knew Sigyn wouldn’t hurt him and yet it had become somewhat of an instinct for him to turn away from anything too quick.

She had flipped off the bed on the left side and proceeded to go straight to her wash room, where she promptly closed the door.

Loki stared at the door in confusion, only to be rewarded by a sudden smashing against the door, causing it to shake. A frustrated scream emanated from behind the wood and was followed by something else breaking inside. This continued until Loki heard scrambling, resulting in complete silence. In a small stretch of time, the quiet elongated it into an eternity as he waited for Sigyn to emerge, not being sure what her reaction was going to be.

Eventually, the door handle opened and out came Sigyn, or at least some version of Sigyn. Her hair which was usually kept out of her eyes was hung low above her face, a few stray curls were tickling her eyes and nose, and Loki found that rather than her hair cascading, it seemed it was only fashioned to do so, for right now it was a curly mop of fire. She had a small cut on her cheek and some of her robes seemed to be ripped in places, as well as her feet had small cuts on the bottom, which Loki could tell simply because of the bloody footprints left along the room.

She marched out with eyes raging, more fiery than her currently untamed hair, and strode straight to her wardrobe, before pulling out a scabbard complete with added sword, then turned dutifully on her bloody heels and marched out of the room with clear intent. 

Before Loki could properly have time to process, he heard a shout from Sigyn to Amora in the hallway.

“AMORA, SET UP THE FIGHTING RING, I HAVE TO STAB SOMETHING.”

Loki sat in the same position, completely stunned, before realising the implications of what she had just said, and not being sure if she meant human or dummy, pushing him to his feet and projecting him the way Sigyn had left, swinging through the corridors in persuit. Considering the state of her feet, she had made it very far very quickly.

He followed the bloody footprints to an opening in the castle where a sandy courtyard was, and within that courtyard, somehow in the minimal time she had been given, wooden dummies set up by Amora and were currently being hacked at by Sigyn, who was turning gracefully and with intent, slicing them to pieces with such grace that could only be seen within a woman fighting. Whilst Loki did admit, some men in Asgard did fight almost as well as Sif and Sigyn, he had never seen anyone pull off such beautiful posture, footwork and grace whilst possibly slaughtering hundreds. 

She moved with light feet upon the floor, almost dancing, in fact it would seem to be a dance should anyone remove the dummies, however what she was doing now was far more beautiful and terrifying. With such purpose, she struck one of the wooden figures in the mid section, cutting it cleanly in half as if it were made of butter. She twisted her sword in her hand and immediately sprung over to the next wooden man, cutting off his head, then his torso, and finally cutting off a bit of each leg.

Loki decided it should be best should he simply remain where he was, rather than try and talk to her as she was disembowelling what were previously trees. He looked at the clean, smooth cuts on one of the ‘necks’ of the figures and shivered. Best not get on her bad side then. 

He waited till she had solidly hacked through every single mannequin in sight before even considering making his presence known, as she stood in the centre of the sand panting only for anger, with barely a drop of sweat gracing her features. Still in her somewhat torn robes and her cheek still bleeding slightly she was a sight to behold. She truly was the definition of sublime in every way possible: possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. 

In every way she held power. In her stance, in her eyes, in the clenching and unclenching of her jaw, and in the grace in which she completely destroyed everything in her path. In many ways, she was more a hurricane than a humanoid, completely destructive, unavoidable and extremely dangerous to those who thought themselves above it.

“I’d hate to get on your bad side.” He mused quietly from the exit to the sand, drawing her attention then, and only then, to the shadowed figure that had watched her in her rage.

Sigyn sighed, still with a clenched jaw, and sheathed her sword, trying her best not to tear the whole palace apart, piece by piece. She began to walk up to Loki, her feet still leaving marks on the floor in blood, before stopping in front of him, waiting for him to say something.

“Your feet are going to get infected.” He quipped, trying to draw her from her rage.

“I don’t care.”

Loki sighed. By the Norms why did everyone he encounter have to be so stubborn. To be fair he should have seen it coming. She was a queen, to be immovable was in her blood.

“Well I do.” He said, grabbing her arm and guiding her back to her room. He noticed as she walked, she began wincing, only then noticing the cuts, and possibly, shards planted in her foot. Every step she winced a little more than the last, and eventually she was almost on the tips of her toes.

Shaking his head at the sheer inability of nobles to do something as simple as asking for help, he grasped her knees, and forced her legs to buck, catching her and hoisting her up. grunting, she began to struggle slightly, the streak of anger from earlier still not satisfied with the destruction it had caused.

“Get off me,” She tried twisting slightly, “I am a queen.” Loki rolled his eyes and kept walking, trying his best not to drop what could only be described as the writhing child in his arms. Eventually she let up and allowed him to simply take her to her room, before he placed her down on her bed and untangled her feet from her robes.

“No need I’ll call the healer.” Loki tutted at her in response, bringing both palms of his hand to the soles of her feet and pressing gently. Sigyn simply fell back on the bed, trusting Loki enough to heal her feet if necessary, after all it was only a flesh-wound, which she had put pressure on, and rubbed sand into, and possibly pushed glass and ceramic further into. Alright perhaps it was more serious that she had initially realised.

He began muttering at the foot of the bed, keeping perfectly still. Sigyn recognised the incantation and began to repeat it under her breath, simply for a sort of distraction. After a while, she felt her lids begin to grow heavy, either from exhaustion from fighting or perhaps simply the exhaustion of pure rage. 

Eventually, he let go of her feet and turned to talk to Sigyn, but found her half asleep, lying dutifully still on her bed, as not to disturb his spell-casting. Turning, he made his way to the door.

“Wait,” Pausing, he turned to see a sleepy Sigyn with her eyes half lidded, and yet still as perceptive as ever, “Can you stay for a bit, just until I fall asleep?”

Loki sighed. He didn’t want to have a nightmare in the same bed as Sigyn, should she fall asleep, and yet the idea of simply remaining with her for just a little longer seemed too good to miss out on, so he walked up to her, sat her up and drew the blankets around her, before settling under them himself.

“I’ll kill him, you know.” Loki hummed in response, unsure of whom exactly she was speaking of. She leaned her head on his shoulder and brought her arms around his waist. In any other situation, this may be seen as indecent, however since no one else was around, and Sigyn was barely conscious, he decided to reciprocate, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her slightly closer to him.

“I have no doubt with such skill as yours, you could take all of the realms if necessary.”

Sigyn gave a small chuckle, growing ever more tired as time went on, and Loki, perhaps due to her empath ability, or that was what he’d tell himself, began to grow tired too, attracted to the comfortable bed. 

“I will kill him though.” She said in a matter of fact manner.

“Who?” He asked gently, leaning slightly on her, both of them facing the door of the bathroom in which carnage still likely remained.

“Odin. I’m going to kill Odin.” Loki froze, completely unsure of how to react. He had been sure that her rage fuelled massacre of the wood outside was simply because he had neglected to tell her that he was Odin’s adopted son, and yet her declaration completely proved him wrong, and told him that her rage was rather at the person beating, than the person receiving. 

He gave a small smile, only to himself.

“Would you like some help with it?” He felt her nod slightly into his neck, tickling it with her curly hair but not enough to make him shield away.

“Yes, I’ll let you have the final blow.”

“I’ll get let Thor have Asgard after, I cannot be bothered with it anymore.” He was getting drowsier in the same manner as Sigyn was earlier, both of them almost on the brink of sleep.

“You can rule a little here, I’ll let you help if you want.”

“Darling, for that I’d have to be your consort.” 

Sigyn gave a giggle, one as if he’d said an inside joke that would only become apparent within the passage of time, and for some reason he found himself laughing along too. Unsure if it was the complete blanket of exhaustion which had just settled on him, or the sheer incomprehensibility of the situation. He was in the queen of Vanaheim’s bed, talking to her about killing the king of Asgard, his adopted father, whilst also laughing about consorts.

In all the time he took to consider this, Sigyn had fallen asleep on his shoulder. When he turned to look at her, he found he did not have the heart to leave, and so rather than disturb her and wake the queen (that was what he told himself of course, it was in order to not disturb the queen) he elected to stay.

And so, they slept.


	7. Emerald Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn awakens that morning, not from nightmares, but rather from the light streaming in from her bedroom window simply because she had neglected to close the curtains, and whilst the reason for her lack of nightmares becomes apparent to her soon, she is still completely unaware of the implications of the situation. Amora, however, very much it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Another chapter? on my fic? its more likely than you think.
> 
> as per usual, inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her awesome consort au! go and check it out, it's awesome!
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com 
> 
> If you want to come and say hello, do! I'm a bored little nerd with too much time on my hands
> 
> enjoy loves!
> 
> sophie xx

Sigyn was sure she couldn’t have fallen asleep last night, she barely remembered lying down, much less dozing off, and yet simply the act of awakening proved her completely wrong. She was slowly becoming aware of the light streaming through her window, straight into her eye due to her neglect of closing the curtains before she went to bed last night. None the matter, she would be awake early and get more work done. She knew she had to consult Amora about the whole ‘consort’ situation, and yet she wasn’t sure what prompted it. She was perfectly happy enjoying Loki’s company without adding a label to it, and yet there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind, as if something had happened, but she couldn’t quite remember what. 

Her right arm was completely numb, apparently being crushed in some way by something, because when she tried to move it slightly it remained in the same positioned, pinned down by the large form above it.

She sighed and digressed, simply laying back down on whatever seemed to be pinning her arm down. Whatever it was, it was slightly warm, keeping her extremely comfortable. She snuggled into it, enjoying the sensation of semi-warmth as opposed to stifling heat, and loving the slow rise and fall movements which seemed to be lulling her back into a half-sleep.

She heard a light groan from above her, resonating in what she had now dismissed as a pillow, causing her to groan in agreement. Whatever it was, it was very much as tired as her, and hopefully just as comfortable. It wrapped its arms around her waist, pulling her closer in, allowing her to bury her face in the crook of their shoulder. She sighed in satisfaction at the simple comfort she was experiencing in her sleepy state.

Eventually, she did realise her Aesir pillow turned out to be Loki, however she was simply too tired and comfortable to give a flying damn. For all she cared, the armies of Valhalla could turn against them today and she would die in comfort. Slowly she rested her hear under his chin and remained, trying her best not to wake him. Considering how they’d talked of nightmares she was sure that rest such as this did not come easily for him. 

Eventually, she felt his chin come to rest on the top of her head, signifying his waking. In most instances, Sigyn supposed that people would greet each other or possibly give some acknowledgement of the mutual waking, and yet both of them seemed to be appreciating the complete silence between the two.

They remained in each others, enjoying the company of the other before one of them had to leave, most likely Sigyn, to complete one task or another or talk to this lord and that lady about that one important thing which they seemed to keep trying to dismiss. Of course, she had done this since she had inherited the crown, and yet it seemed so much more repulsive in the early morning, curled up in her bed, wrapped in another’s arms. 

Eventually she found herself shifting towards the side of the bed, trying to leave Loki’s grip, only to have him whine and almost lock her in place. Sigyn would never tell him but that simple reaction made her smile to herself.

Loki buried his face in the crook of her neck, just as she had done earlier, and wrapped his arms around her ever so tighter, securing her in place, laying on his chest.

“Loki?” He hummed sleepily in response, barely moving.

“Loki I have to get out of bed.” She felt him sigh against her neck, yet still not loosen his hold around her waist.

“Stay,” He whispered gently against her ear, prompting a shiver from her. Of course, that was only from the cold in his breath, not the fact that he was so close to her, and his nose nuzzling her neck, not at all.

“I can’t, I have a meeting with my advisors, and I have to speak to Amora.” She replied, finding her argument less and less compelling as time went on. Simply being within a bed with him had chased her nightmares away, as well as his it seemed, and she wasn’t used to not waking up alert, with no sweat on her brow, so the sensation of drowsiness in the morning was foreign and deadly to her.

She moved again, trying to unwrap his arms from her, only to have him whine in response and bring her ever closer. Silence as an answer.

Sigyn knew that she could easily rid herself of his grip, and yet she couldn’t find the heart to. They were both entangled in each other in a way that provided mutual comfort in such a sense that they could have remained in that certain position forever.

A knock on the door drew them from whatever thoughts they were experiencing, in Sigyn’s case it was the best way to get out of that damned useless meeting with her lords and ladies, and so far she had nothing.

They both turned sleepily to the door before Sigyn uttered an almost silent ‘who is it.’

“The crown prince of Asgard, clearly.” Amora responded from the other side of the door, causing Sigyn to huff out a laugh.

“Come in.” She replied, still not bothering to untangle herself from Loki. She heard the door open, not caring enough to actually look, and heard a sigh from Amora who seemed to have stopped at the entrance of the room.

“What in Norms name have you done to your bathroom.” Well, that was the unexpected response. 

Sigyn barely raised her head to assess the damage done, only quickly peering at the carnage which littered the floor, from bloody footprints, to splintered wood to shattered ceramic, overall it seemed as if a Chitauri warship had been there rather than a queen.

She laid back down on Loki’s collar bone, still enjoying the slight breeze she was receiving from his breathing, which occasionally prompted a stray hair or two to gently tickle her neck. 

“I got angry.” 

Amora sighed.

Eventually, she made her way towards the bed, pausing slightly when she noticed the accomplice who currently had his arms wrapped causally around the most powerful person in Vanaheim. In any other situation, Amora would have found herself drawing her weapon, however simply to see her queen so relaxed in the hands of another was a rare thing. She found herself smiling at the drowsy smile plastered upon Sigyn’s face which widened slightly when Loki burrowed his head ever so slightly more into her neck. Whilst it was an innocent connection at the moment, Amora could see exactly what it would become simply through how quickly they had come to trust each other. Loki may not have known it, but Sigyn had been through as much emotional abuse, if not more than him, and having her be so happy was a beautiful thing that not even the gods could cause, but somehow he could. 

She busied herself, cleaning up what she could in the bathroom, sweeping the shards into a corner so that it could still be used, however she was unable to actually do anything with them, so simply putting them where minimal damage would be caused was the quickest and easiest course of action. She came out of the bathroom and had to practically drag Sigyn out of Loki’s arms, giving some not so subtle threats of putting him in the place of the practise dummies if necessary and finally managed to get the queen in the bathroom to get ready for the day.

She turned on the water for the bath, letting it stream gently into the tub, before putting in some solvent to make the water scented.

She slipped Sigyn’s clothes from her shoulders after unlacing the complicated strings drawing it tight in her front, before having to peel off her undergarments, each of which required at least 5 minutes to remove, then let the queen slip into the almost full bath.

Sigyn settled in the water, enjoying the calming sensation of the heat of the water, rushing on to her body and enveloping her into a warm embrace. She leaned her head back against the side of the tub where Amora was sat, ready to begin styling her hair for the day.

She gently brushed her fingers through the mane of red which sat atop Sigyn’s head, allowing her to relax into her hands.

“I didn’t have a nightmare last night.”

Amora hummed inquisitively in response, not wanting to break whatever spell had settled over the room, allowing the calm from the room previously remain in a different situation.

Amora decided that today she wanted to see her queens hair in a braid, so slowly, she pulled a small section of hair from her bunch, and braided a small, solitary length of styled hair, before turning to the cupboard not an arms length from her and grabbed a small metal band, engraved with the rune for ‘joy’ on it, and clipped it onto the braid, keeping it in place.

She returned to the hair, and took the entire mess before separating it into three different sections, including the single plait, and began wrestling them into place, trying not to pull too much.

“He makes me feel comfortable.” She was simply speaking to fill the silence now, it just so happened that when her ladyship spoke, she enjoyed filling the silences with truths.

“Is that so?” Amora responded, still putting Sigyn’s hair in a braid.

Sigyn hummed.

Eventually, Amora managed to fully trap every hair on Sigyn’s head into the tight braid which cascaded down to the bottom of the tub, meeting the floor and sweeping it. again, it was fastened with a metal band, however this one had the rune for ‘luck’ chipped into its side. Of course, all of the additions were simply because Sigyn had got bored one night. It was a wonder she hand’t brought the whole palace down considering how powerful she was as well as how often she got an itch to simply break something. Thank gods for her ability to use a sword and Amora’s ability to quickly put dummies out.

Amora made her way to the door, going to get a change of clothes to put Sigyn into, only to be stopped by Sigyn herself asking for her back.

“Amora?”

Amora stopped, turning back to see the queen looking at her upside down, tilting her head to make eye contact with her maid servant.

“Yes?” 

Sigyn was looking at her as a child would if they were looking for guidance, but unsure how to ask for it. Sigyn of course knew she could confide in Amora whatever she wished, however she still felt somewhat odd asking for something like this. They had never truly talked about men, none of them being particularly interested in the stuck up boys in court, in fact Amora seemed far more interested by one of the serving girls, so simply thinking of the subject felt… odd.

“Do you think, I could manage to do the same to him? Make him comfortable here, that is?” She truly was oblivious. The man literally had his forehead resting against her neck and was holding to her for dear life moments before, and yet she wondered if she truly could make him feel welcome.

As an empath, it was probably common to wonder if what you are making people feel is genuine or simply a side effect of your touch, or company, and Amora knew that Sigyn was constantly worrying of such things, in fact she refused to even brush hands with Amora when she first came into the queens service.

“Sigyn, I’m sure you already do.”

Sigyn paused, thinking upon those words, before sighing back in the tub and allowing the water to envelop her, up till her nose as if she were some sort of hippopotamus within a Wadi or drinking hole.

Amora pushed passed the door and out into the room, where Loki, completely oblivious to the conversation within the bathroom, was still curled up in the bed, somewhat half asleep and perhaps unwilling to try and escape the calm which seemed to have permanently settled over both the queen and her guest. Amora walked past the bed and to the wardrobe, flicking through the possible garments which Sigyn could sport.

Whilst flicking, her eyes settled upon a particular dress which seemed to be the exact shade of green which she had noticed Loki seemed to favour. Smirking, she brought it out and hung it up in the bathroom for her queen to inspect. Rather than look, she simply kept washing herself.

“What colour for today, Amora?”

Amora smiled slightly, a coy thing which only graced her features when she had an idea forming. She turned to admire the dress, taking in the distinct shade which lavishly settled upon gold armour, hiding small belts of leather and of course Sigyn’s ever present dagger pocket. Amora knew exactly how this was going to end, and she was thoroughly looking forwards to it.

“Emerald Green.”


	8. Alright then, Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The council of lords and ladies are pressuring Sigyn to heed the words of Odin when he first 'gifted' his son to her in a sense, and wish for him to be more than a pampered houseguest. And whilst Sigyn finds herself disgusted by the blatant objectification of her friend, she does become curious as to how he would react, when faced with the question she wished, only for the sake of satisfying her need to know, to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyway here's where the 'consort' part becomes relevant.
> 
> as always inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com and her consort au, go and check it out!
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> enjoy my loves!
> 
> sophie xx

Her lords and ladies truly did enjoy backing Sigyn into a corner, and considering she was their sovereign it was odd how well they managed to twist her will, trying their best to make her see a point of view which was completely beyond her horizons and completely out of the question. Of course, this certain opinion had to do with a certain someone who had shared her bed, in a non sexual fashion of course, a few days prior.

“He does nothing!” Lord Balimire had exclaimed several times, earning nods from many others around the table.

“He’s a friend!”

“He was gifted to be a consort!”

Sigyn fumed through the whole session, becoming more and more tempted to focus on the Lords head just a little more and hope it would blow right up, and the thing is, she knew she could do it, many apples and watermelons and tellings off from her mother had proven so, and yet she couldn’t find the energy to. The way they spoke of Loki was as if he were a mutt which had been gifted for the purpose to be a hunting dog, making him even less of an Aesir and more of an animal than anything else.

By the end of the session, she was ready to grab her sword and have a few rounds, preferably with the very people sitting in this room. Their entire argument was based off the fact that he had been ‘gifted’ and Sigyn countered that a person could do with a gift what they wished. It made her feel disgusted to refer to him as such however it was the only way to make the people in the council understand. Eventually she simply refused. She was the sovereign and could do as she pleased, no matter what her council said. 

Whilst walking back to her room, Sigyn took great pleasure in thinking exactly how she would execute Lord Balimire in the most painful fashion possible. Perhaps being hung drawn and quartered, or perhaps simply hung so she could watch him flail like a hung fish. Such thoughts were common when leaving a meeting.

Without even realising it, she made the turn away from her room towards Loki’s quarters, her footsteps echoing around the halls of the palace, bouncing off the walls with every enraged stride she took on the way to his chambers. In fact, she wasn’t even completely aware of where she was going until she had knocked firmly on his door and taken a step back, causing the reality of the situation to dawn on her. 

Before she could have a chance to back away, the door opened to reveal Loki, wearing a particularly lovely green dress that seemed vaguely familiar, perhaps it was because it was because she leant it to him after he seemed to have been drawn to it when she was wearing it. Gods know why Amora chose that particular dress for her to wear, it wasn’t even her favourite shade of green and she knew it.

He gave her a little smile and gestured inside, allowing her through. She walked in slowly, trying to compose her thoughts slightly, before sitting down on one of the chairs near Loki’s fireplace, another was to the right of her, but was separated with a small table with a cupboard in it, containing Loki’s favourite books.

He sat down next to her, turning to face Sigyn, ready to start whatever debate or conversation she wished to initiate today.

She was sat pensively, her hands resting below her chin, her entire body thrown into thought as if some sort of a disturbing revelation had been made to her within the past few hours.

She found herself sighing and sitting back up, looking over at Loki who was casually leaning on his elbow, not quite looking at her and waiting for her to properly initiate the conversation. After all, it was the polite thing to do, she was the queen.

She was trying so hard to think of a way to phrase it well, to make sure he didn’t hate her for even suggesting it, perhaps even avoid the conversation before it began, tell the lords and ladies he said ‘no’ without even asking.

And yet, she found herself curious, wondering what his answer may have been should she ask the question, and there was only one way to properly know exactly what he would have answered, and unfortunately that was to ask.

“I have something to ask you.” He turned to look back at her, suddenly apprehensive of the question.

“Before I ask it, you are perfectly allowed to say no, I would think no ill of you and would still allow you to remain as long as you wish here.” She could see him begin to tense up, fear taking over his body and yet he tried to remain impassive. Gods she already hated herself for even thinking this was a good idea to ask.

“You know what, never mind.” She turned and faced forwards, completely trying to destroy the conversation before he began to question.

But unfortunately, whatever ‘this conversation has ended’ face Sigyn wore, it clearly wasn’t good enough.

“Clearly you still mind.” He was leaning towards her, slightly less tense than before, still holding his hand on his chin and his elbow on his chair, clearly interested and curious now.

Sigyn tried to shake her head, but found herself somewhat frozen in place and unable to force herself to move.

“I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do anything.”

Whatever she was going to say, it could go one of either ways and truthfully, Loki wasn’t entirely sure which one he understood more. She could see him leaning slightly more forwards. Damn he was invested in the situation now.

“The council,” She sighed again, and sat up straighter, “Please understand I didn’t exactly share their opinions,” yet again another pause, “They want you to ‘fulfil your purpose’ as they put it.” It sounded as if those words made her feel physically ill.

“My, purpose?” He took a moment to reflect, his mind racing a million miles an hour and trying to make sense, because that truly wasn’t one of the ways he thought the conversation would go. He thought through every single moment which could possibly be tied with such things. He thought of falling asleep in Sigyn’s bed just a few nights ago, about how she had been able to calm him instantly when they first properly met. He thought of when Odin brought him, kicking and vaguely screaming, and that word he used.

“Well, I don’t really have a purpose except what Odin…” Understanding flooded his featured.

“Oh.”

Sigyn couldn’t look at him, she didn’t want to see any hint of betrayal or fear, or even disgust. She felt herself almost hunch over, and yet she remained straight as ever, awaiting his verdict, his shouting, his anger, or even perhaps a simple ‘no’ and a ruined friendship. 

Loki was mulling it over, grateful for the silence which seemed to have consumed the woman to his left. Trying to think as quickly as possible, he tried weighing the pro’s and con’s of being a consort. 

On the plus side, it meant a permanent, high ranking place in the household, a nice bed, being treated better than ever and overall an improved living condition, as well as being allowed more time with Sigyn (which he found he was coming to enjoy more and more everyday). On the downside… well apart from the eventual pressure of producing an heir which would probably happen in a thousand years or so, all he had to truly do is attend Gala’s and Balls, and look pretty on the sovereigns arm. Overall, the offer didn’t completely repulse him and he found himself considering it very heavily.

“Alright.” Sigyn twisted to face him in surprised, completely astounded that he even considered the offer in the first place much less accepted it in the time he was given.

“Alright?” She questioned, not understanding what in Hel had just happened.

“Alright.” He replied, seeming somehow just as confused with his own answer as she was.

“Oh, alright then.” They both sat in silence, completely hyperaware of one another. Sigyn was trying to understand how on earth this had happened and wondering what would life be like if she had simply bitten her tongue rather than start the conversation. Loki was finally understanding the implications of simply the word ‘alright’ and how much his life was about to be impacted by a simple, two syllable statement. Still, none were physically able to commence a conversation in any way.

“So, what exactly does this mean?” Loki asked, curious about the entire situation.

Sigyn turned to look at him once more, still astounded by his casual acceptance of the entire situation. Then again, how bad could being a queens consort in comparison to beaten and bruised in your own dungeon.

“Well, essentially you’re my… friend? If you want to be that is, and eventually, maybe help produce an… heir.” From the way she said it, it sounded all rather hypothetical, and yet somehow Loki got the general gist of it, and for some reason, inexplicable as it was, he found himself smiling like a fool.

“So I’m essentially your betrothed? Or husband or something along those lines?” Sigyn took in a sharp breath, almost apprehensive of his answer, though she had no reason to be, he had already accepted.

“Yes, I suppose so.” She was blushing for some reason, her cheeks lighting up more so than her hair would do in summers light. 

“Alright then wife.” He replied cheekily. 

Sigyn found herself finally able to relax somewhat, flopping back in her chair. She gave a tired laugh.

“Alright then, husband.”

"How's about a little kiss?"


	9. Oblivious in Each Others Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The immediate aftermath of the previous chapter, in which Loki and Sigyn discuss consorts and their purposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo so anyway here take this *throws chapter out there*
> 
> inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com
> 
> my tumblr a03-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy! if i get a nap today mayyyyyyyybbbeeee there will be a chapter later tonight?
> 
> love all of ya!
> 
> Sophie xx

Sigyn’s cheeks bloomed with heat for some reason, at the somewhat odd request. Though she supposed that considering what they were about to get into, Sigyn was sure it would have to become habit. Loki was looking at her intensely, not giving away if he thought it was a joke or not.

She turned away, cheeks still practically glowing red. For some reason, she found that she was having trouble breathing and that her palms, now folded in her lap, had become sweaty and clammy. She tried to keep as composed as possible and yet she could feel a giggle rising in her throat, however she refused to let it see the light of day. She was a queen, not some giddy schoolgirl with a crush.

Loki wasn’t even sure what to do. Mention a kiss to a queen and she lights up more so than the fires they light at winter. Her cheeks were bright, blood red as if she had added powder to create the artifice of health, and yet it was not so, for moments ago she had been her usual shade. He had ruined the composure of a queen, and usually he found that both parties had to be very much more naked than they were now to do such things.

He saw her smile privately, as if she had simply read his thoughts, of course he knew she couldn’t and yet he still got the sneaking suspicion she knew him well enough by now to understand his way of thinking.

“Perhaps, another time.” She said, looking down at her hands in her lap, trying to give a reserved smile only to completely drop the composure she had worked so hard to maintain and give a gleaming smile towards her lap, somewhat bashfully. Loki found himself breathless.

After the original bashfulness and unsure environment melted, they eventually got to the conversation of such things as sleeping arrangements, which he soon found out would be drastically changed.

“Are you sure?” He truly didn’t understand Vanaheimr customs and traditions, well, this one at least.

“Yes, consorts usually remain in the same room as their other.” She meant in terms of sleeping, but of course she could understand where Loki’s confusion was coming from. In Asgard, it was deemed indecent for a consort to well, consort with their significant other till after marriage. In Vanaheim, however, the laws over such things were far more lax than other places.

“Isn’t it, suspect or something like that?” Sigyn gave a giggle and shook her head.

“No, many people in this castle are actually conceived and borne out of wedlock.” She replied, somewhat unsure how Loki, raised in such a different environment, would react to such things.

“Such as?”truly, he really had no idea how common it was to be unmarried in Vanaheim.

“Well, myself, I think.” She replied casually, turning to face him and see the mask of pure shock plastered on his face. It was almost laughable how surprised he looked, in fact if Sigyn could have anything in the world in that moment, it would be a painting of Loki with that exact facial expression.

“You were born out of wedlock?” He seemed even impressed somehow by the information.

“Well, I think? Mother died when I was born and Mama died before I was able to understand what a ‘bastard’ was.” It was too causal. The talk of marriage, birth and death between the two. Loki was somewhat scared at how easily she talked of her mothers’ deaths, both of them thrown into the conversation in the same way someone would quickly mention a side note friend in a tale. 

“Your mothers are, dead?” 

She was taken aback by the soft tone in which he spoke, as if he were whispering her a secret. She had grown used to her families deaths, and found it odd that someone should be shocked that she no longer had any.

 

“Yes, but don’t be sad, they were gone before I was but 200.” She said, still unsure how to talk of it. Whilst it sounded insensitive, she was used to the two missing pieces that she had come to accept as lost forever.

Loki was unable to comprehend how someone could so easily dismiss the loss of a loved one, having recently lost his mother in the attack of Asgard, and yet there was Sigyn, sitting regally, dismissive as she was, acting as if it should be nothing important. Then again, his wound was fresh, hers was almost a thousand years old.

“So, when should we have your things moved to my room?” The conversation moved on quickly, turning to official arrangements such as the announcement to the lords and ladies of the council that Loki had accepted the offer, as well as when Loki was officially going to be presented to the royal court as Sigyn’s consort. They needed not to arrange when Loki himself would end up back in Sigyn’s bed, it had been somewhat implied that they would simply go to her room and fall asleep as they had done a few nights ago, however moving his belongings was a different conversation altogether. Mostly because, though he didn’t seem to have many, Loki did manage to cram books into every corner if the room he was staying in as possible. He had a lot of free time considering he wasn’t officially part of the court and had no duties, so Sigyn simply said that they’d put in a bookshelf somewhere for him. It wasn’t as if they didn’t have enough space to do so.

By the end of the night, they were both practically falling asleep in their chairs, having spoken for so long about one single subject, and both were leaning heavily on their arms which Sigyn was sure would eventually snap under the weight of her head. 

She felt some sort of movement to her right, before a soft touch to her cheek, pulling her head off her arm, which fell almost immediately. A faint whispering was heard in front of her, but she wasn’t completely bothered, sleep trying to pull her away from reality as soon as possible.

Suddenly, cold flared in her right cheek causing Sigyn to shriek and lurch backwards, the freezing sensation removing any drowsiness completely from her.

“WHAT WAS THAT.” She turned to see Loki trying to shield a smirk, however the shaking of his shoulders told her exactly what she needed to know. 

She glowered at him, trying to straighten out the folds in her dress which had appeared from sitting for so long. She huffed in her chair and crossed her arms, sinking back down in the chair in a huff. Loki was simply giggling at her, still trying somewhat to contain his laughter.

“You’re a child.” 

His laughter exploded, filling the room completely with a joyous sound which made Sigyn soar in the same way people did when they got lightheaded, but in a pleasant manner rather. It was a loud, yet unimposing sound that when they first met Sigyn wouldn’t have been sure could be created from such a timid mans mouth, and yet there it was.

She found herself almost, almost smiling at the sheer joy he was gaining at her expense, and yet it was somehow pleasing her in the same sense. He was happy.

She stood up, making her way towards him before giving him a gently, playful swat on his shoulder.

“Alright, you’ve had your fun, lets go I’m tired.” He gave a little ‘oof’ at the swat, before a smile returned to his face.

“I did warn you, you were just too tired to care.” That smirk was going to be the death of her.

“Well, I’m going now, if you want to prattle along later you’re welcome to.” She said, turning towards the door. She heard a remark about ‘being there in but a moment’ before she was out in the hallway, padding along to bed.

In any other instance, she would have been to bed early due to her ordinarily schedule, and having to wake up on time, and yet she was walking to bed at past midnight, tired beyond belief and having her consort joining her in ‘but a moment,’ as he put it. The simple oddity of the situation made her chuckle to herself in a way.

She opened her chamber doors, slipping in quickly and quietly simply from a force of habit, then made her way to the wardrobe where she found a nightgown that she deemed comfortable enough, then padded to the bathroom and changed as quickly as possible.

She came out of the bathroom to see Loki longing under the covers, a book in hand which he seemed completely engrossed in.

Sigyn walked over to the bed and got in, expecting to simply lie down and go to bed. What she didn’t expect was for Loki’s arm to snake around her waist and pull her closer, allowing him to be perfectly able to rest his head in the crook of her neck. Whilst unexpected, it wasn’t completely unpleasant, especially with the gentle breaths that were sweeping her neck. 

Unlike last time, instead of falling asleep almost completely uncomprehending, both of them understood just a little more about the situation, finding that this time they had completely accepted that the other was important to them. How important was yet to be found, yet the small increase in their heart rates indicated somewhat exactly what was to come.

Obliviously, they fell asleep once again in each others arms.


	10. Shit hits the fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns that if he wants to be near sigyn he has to make certain sacrifices to his own image, and whilst in a normal situation that sounds doable, this was not a normal situation.
> 
> After all, love is a tough thing to be in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy!!! so anyway this chap only has 1000 words but i think i ended it well? i'm going to compensate by writing a huge ass chapter and possibly posting it right after this one, enjoy!
> 
> inspired by: nanhihoosartblog.tumblr.com
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Sophie

After that day, life seemed to flow more smoothly. There was finally a routine in place which Loki could follow, and Sigyn could drag him wherever she wanted, and no one could protest. Meetings, where he would sometimes whisper a quip in her ear that would have her red faced and holding back laughter, meals, where he would occasionally throw a grape and catch in his mouth simply because of the playful glare Sigyn would throw him, and bed, where they both had to admit that their constant company whilst sleeping reduced each others nightmares almost completely. Yes Sigyn awoke from the occasional predilection, but all in all she found his company to be very soothing.

One morning, however, she awoke to find no arm draped across her waist, no warm pillow to lie on, no Loki.

She turned over, trying to spot him either sat in one of the chairs reading, or perhaps looking through the wardrobe to find something different to wear. He did occasionally take some of her clothes but she found she preferred him in them than seeing them on herself. But nothing.

“Loki?” She hoped he was still within the room and should earn some sort of reply from either deep under the covers, or some hidden corner, however when a groan came from behind the bathroom door she was somewhat surprised.

Jumping out of bed she ran to the bathroom door, before pressing her hands against it in an effort to open it, only to find it was locked.

“Loki? Are you alright?” Another groan in response. Sigyn wasn’t sure if he was sick, or simply unwilling to answer and leaving his state completely ambiguous and up to her extremely overactive imagination.

She fruitlessly went to try the handle again, giggling it to the same end as the first time. Why had he locked the blasted door? In any other situation she would have tried to unlock it with a spell of sorts, however this was Loki, and she was certain that if he needed anything, it was a choice to do something, than have it forced upon him. Privacy was most definitely one of those things.

Sighing, she kneeled down in front of the door, pressing her hands against it. She found it seemed to be colder than it usually was, and yet the temperature of the room was as usual. Dismissing it she thought back to Loki who had still not given any indication that he was alright in a sense.

“Do you need a healer?” Loki, behind the door, could hear the apprehension in her voice, as well as the genuine worry that was accompanied by it. He felt his heart hammer a little faster in his chest for fear of her, but not fear she would hurt him, but that he would hurt her. 

He raised his hand for his own inspection, the blue covering it completely and destroying any evidence of the spell Frigga had cast upon him when he was first brought to Asgard. Something as simple as touching another should most definitely not ruin such a powerful thing.

Bringing back his shaking hand to his chest, he felt a reply bubbling in his throat.

“I’m alright, just feeling a bit… off.” He said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible.

A sigh of relief escaped Sigyn’s lips, so loud that he could hear it through the thick oak separating the two. He hoped to the gods she wasn’t fond of this door, due to the frost which had spread from where he had laid against it all the way to the top. He hoped that by the end of the day it would be gone, if not then there was a serious risk that everything he touched should remain completely frozen when he was in distress.

Loki had been confused when he woke up, simply because he had been holding Sigyn as usual, except even within his ice giant form, not a single cold burn had appeared on her body, not even on her arm where there had been exposed skin.

He daren’t look into the mirror, for fear of those blood red eyed which would be staring right back at him. His blood red eyes, but not his in the same way.

“Do you want me to get you some food?” There was that thumping in his chest again. He brought his hand up against his ribs, as if rubbing the area would silence the heart that was beating there. He was sure that if she could hear the way he stopped breathing at her every kindness, she would be far more worried about him.

“No, I just need a moment.” 

“Alright,” Sigyn was now leaning against the door, finding herself somewhat able to relax now that she knew Loki actually had the ability to reply, “do you want me to stay?”

Damn his thumping heard. Damn his sudden catching breath. Damn every bodily function that ceased to work simply because of her soft voice. Damn all of it to the pits of Hel. 

“If you want you can go.” He managed to reply, a small smile betraying the entire situation and creeping on his face.

“Then I’ll stay.” He could hear the smile in her voice, could picture her with her head against the door with her eyes closed. Could see the way she would be gently relaxed against it. If his mother hadn’t cautioned him against this when he was young, he wouldn’t be sure what was happening to him.

Yet the way he was so instantly afraid of hurting her, how he jumped out of the bed as quickly yet quietly as possible, wishing to preserve her sleep, how he replied only to make sure she didn’t worry, how his heart, his chest, his head became inexplicably inutile and almost painful to use, how she made him smile and calmed him without using her empath abilities.

Shit, he was in love.


	11. Better a Scared Queen Than a Dead One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has realised that being near Sigyn, due to her and her people's ability to get to the 'truth,' causes the spell which prevents him from turning blue to lose power, and finds himself within the predicament of either keeping her safe from himself, or her nightmares, and to be honest he can't decide which one he will come to chose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN 4 HOURS I'M ON A ROLL WHOOOOOOOO
> 
> anyway *throws chapters into the interned abyss* have some of this
> 
> inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com (don't be afraid to come and say hi! I'll likely reply asap caus I am a loner who gets really bored really easily)
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!
> 
> Sophie xx

Whilst Loki had somewhat of a life changing revelation in the Queen of Vanaheim’s bathroom, the queen herself was simply resting against the door, waiting for Loki to open it, or perhaps continue the conversation in some way. Still feeling the chill of the door on her back, she got up and made her way to the bed, dragging the blanket off it and bringing it back to the door, wrapping herself up and leaning back agains the oak.

She heard nothing from the other side, only somewhat even breathing from Loki, who at the moment was trying to make sense of every thought flying through his head, and trying to get as far away from the door as possible, as quietly as possible, afraid that if he started panicking that the frost would spread all the way to the door and harm Sigyn. 

Of course, realising you were completely enamoured by the woman you literally share a bed with is somewhat of a revelation to someone, and so as expected the frost started spreading from where his fingers touched, infecting parts of the room he brushed against. He thanked Valhalla that is was a large room, if not he might of had to remove any bare skin from the ground completely.

Sigyn, still leaning against the door, saw Amora step into the room. Both arms folded behind her back, holding some sort of platter. She look at the empty bed and begin to search for Sigyn and Loki, before her eyes fell upon the bathroom door, and her queen leaning causally against it, and sighing slightly, her head shaking.

“You both missed breakfast.” Sigyn shrugged nonchalantly, smiling slightly at Amora.

“But you love me anyway.” Amora sighed and brought out a platter of food with almost every sort of breakfast assortment you could think of. Meats, fruits, bars of protein and two goblets of juice carefully balanced on the one platter.

“You do love me!” Sigyn giggled to Amora, pulling the plate towards her.

She put it down to the side of her, taking one of the goblets for herself, and leaving one for Loki. She brought a grape to her mouth and was about to take a bite of it before she realised her partner, just behind the door she was using as a support, had absolutely none of the feast in front of her.

Tentatively, she turned to the door and gave it a soft knock, waiting for Loki’s reply.

“Yes?” He seemed further away from the door than before however Sigyn chose not to question it, knowing that he was simply doing what made him comfortable. If he wished to be slightly further away, that was how it was to be.

“I have food, are you feeling well enough to eat?” He sighed, knowing he was going to lie through his teeth simply to get out of food, and begging with everything he had that his stomach gurgling wouldn’t betray him.

“Perhaps later.” He said, trying his best to sound somewhat sickly, though he did feel slightly nauseous, it wasn’t because of a disease.

“How about,” Sigyn spoke through the door, trying to sound sympathetic, though it wasn’t especially hard for her, “I have half, and leave you half to eat on through the day, and if you want more, you can call Amora?”

He sighed, knowing full well she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she knew he had eaten at least a little, being that she was worried about him simply when he was somewhat reserved.

“Alright.” He replied, somewhat quietly, in such a way that made Sigyn think he was falling asleep perhaps. Instead, it was just that he was smiling quietly to himself within the room, finding himself a little happy despite the situation.

And so, whilst Loki was locked in the bathroom, afraid to come out, Sigyn chatted to him about what her day was going to be like, how she dreaded whatever meeting Lord Balinire was going to spring on her due to his absence, and what she would have for dinner, and bring back for him, should he still feel ill by then. Loki sat in relative silence, occasionally butting in with some sort of a quip or a joke about whomever they were talking about, before hearing a tinkling giggle just beyond his reach.

Eventually, Sigyn had to leave and carry out her daily duties, unfortunately also requiring Amora to come along, however it did leave Loki time to scramble out of the bathroom and grab the food which had so gracefully been left for him. He took his time eating, rather than scarfing down the fruits and meats on the platter, and elected to only drink the water later. As he ate, he slowly came to notice the tips of his fingers returning to what would be considered a ‘normal’ shade.

He ate in peaceful silence, grateful to allow his body some time to catch up with the spell and slowly turn back to the pale shade he was so used to, before grabbing a book and slinking back to the bathroom, turning on the bath tap, and letting it run hot. 

He walked up to the door and closed it, before turning back to the half full bath and testing the water. Getting undressed, he then grabbed the glass of water which he had brought in and downed it in one go, before tiptoeing into the basin full of hot water.

He let himself sink into the water, enjoying the scalding that brought sense to his skin, which was somewhat numb due to the constant change of temperature. He looked down to his abdomen to see the healed scar on his stomach, which for some reason had decided to light up with a blue tint. Not so much so that it would look extremely bright, but a soft glow which emanated from it, and danced in the clear water.

He lay his head back and ran his hands through his tangled hair, trying to sooth himself as much as possible before starting whatever conversation he needed to have with himself. 

He thought back to Sigyn, and the laugh she gave him every time he made a sarcastic comment, or insulted that particularly painful lord, Balamory was it? Instantly he felt himself relax just a little more. 

He knew somehow that it was her that was degrading the spell, perhaps unknowingly, yet still it was happening. Without even realising she was bringing out the monster, literally. Maybe through physical contact, maybe just because he was close to her. Either way it was a problem, considering what he’d done to the door, how on earth could he keep her safe from the biggest threat that was him?

Clearly too lost in thought, he didn’t think to notice the door opening, with both Amora and Sigyn walking into her room and seeing the platter completely empty, as well as the goblet gone and the door still in the same position.

Sigyn walked up to the door and knocked, earning her a hum from behind it.

“Loki?” Another hum, either he was deep in thought or simply too tired to care what she was saying. To be honest she wasn’t sure which one was more likely.

“Loki can I come in?” A pause, rather than the immediate hum, before the sound of water sloshing around and the drawing of the bath curtain which Sigyn had, though for the reason of it still eluded her, clearly it was installed 500 years ago because her future consort may want to converse whilst still in privacy.

“Come in.” She gently pushed open the door, to be greeted by Loki’s head hanging casually on the side of the tub, with the rest of his body covered by the intricate shower curtain, which was made of the same green material as the one which surrounded her bed.

“Hello again, are you feeling any better?” She walked slowly towards him and eventually sat near enough to him that he could look at her without craning his neck, but far enough to give him some element of space. 

He gave her a little smile, which prompted her to return the sentiment, before shifting slightly to reveal a scar, though small, noticeable on his shoulder. However it wasn’t noticeable because of the fact that it was a scar, but because it was glowing blue, a phenomenon that she truly hadn’t seen in her entire life.

He saw her gaze focus on his shoulder, before turning to look at it himself only to see exactly what he didn’t want her to see, before he shifted his position somewhat violently in order to hide the glaringly obvious skin discolouration.

Sigyn almost jumped back at the quick movement, but instead just looked at him confused, before opening her mouth to ask a question, then remembering is instant reaction to her seeing it, decided against it and closed it.

“I’ll… leave you to bathe then?” He gave her a sheepish smile, before nodding slightly. Sigyn stood and walked out slowly, stopping for a moment to notice the indents in the door where Loki’s ice had previously been and, thankfully, melted. Instead of asking she simply shook her head and closed it behind her.

Loki sighed and buried his face in his hands. If anything that just made it more likely to ask, more likely to question. And she hadn’t a clue why he had jerked away from her, only that he had done it in such a way it made him look fearful of her. Damned scars, damned genes. Damned everything how about. 

Eventually, he decided to actually wash himself rather than mill around in a tub full of hot water for the remainder of the day, and found himself taking care to avoid the scars, somewhat disgusted by the change in hue which reminded him so prominently of his species. Whilst he knew that he shouldn’t hate himself, and that his species was a part of him he should accept, yet he still found himself negatively associating that, thing, no, him, with all of the horrible stories he had been told as a child. Not by Frigga, never by her, but by Odin who had poisoned his view of the species as a whole.

When he finished washing himself, rather than go outside and talk with Sigyn for fear that interaction would ruin the spell that was working so hard to restore itself, he grabbed the book he had brought in with him and begun reading it.

It was some boring and honestly rather dull book about two ‘star crossed’ lovers, which was honestly completely stupid, the fates didn’t have time to intertwine the strings of love, it was simply up to coincidence and ‘right time right place’. The fact that two mortals honestly believed that the stars themselves wanted them together was rather egotistical in not anything else. 

Eventually he grew tired of the completely pointless language and the extreme exaggeration of the importance of two children falling in ‘love,’ or more likely obsession, and got out of the bath, drying and dressing himself in one of Sigyn’s many nightgowns, then heading towards the door. He hesitated, putting his ear to the door to see if there was any sign of discussion, or even Sigyn milling around. He was sure that by now most people in the palace save for himself were fast asleep. And he was right, he found no trace of movement within the room, prompting him to open the door and slip out of the bathroom as quietly as possible.

He turned towards the bed and slunk towards it, trying his hardest to be completely silent in the process. He drew back the curtains slowly to reveal a sleeping Sigyn, however it was not the usual sleeping Sigyn that he knew, but one with her face set in a mask of fear, nightmares having taken over her whilst she slept alone.

Whilst it pained Loki, and whilst he may never be able to forgive himself for it, rather than console her, he instead went to the furthest side of the bed, determined not to hurt her within his unconscious state.

A whimper from her almost made him change his mind.

He remained completely still, adamant to not allow himself, or the ‘other’ within him to be able to ruin her in any way. If she woke up from nightmares, so be it. It was better than having to deal with her waking up with frostbite sinking deep into her skin, and possibly choking or killing her in the process. 

As Loki found himself drifting off, he knew full well that tonight, the nightmares would most likely return in full force, as they were doing with Sigyn, and yet he found he couldn’t bring himself to seek her comfort, hold her, and risk her end.

Better a scared queen than a dead one.


	12. Mercifully, No More Nightmares Came That Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn finds that Loki has become more distant than usual over the past few days, and whilst she isn't aware that there is a purpose to this, she finds herself feeling abandoned as she had so many times in the past. So, as she did when she faced solitude, rather than awaken Amora and rant to her, she cries to the stars, to the moon in a last ditch attempt to help her deal with what she's feeling. Little does she know that the person she is screaming about is listening to her every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THREE CHAPTERS IN 6 HOURS SHIT I'M GOOD TODAY
> 
> I may be completely exhausted and high on lack of sleep but thats ok because here have an angsty chapter with minimal dialogue *YEET*
> 
> inspired by nanihoosartblog.tumblr.com (i don't know why i put this anymore its literally on all the other 11 chapters, oh well)
> 
> my tumblr ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> and with that, i say to you, it is 01:00am, I'm dead inside and feel like Sigyn is too, enjoy! goodnight!
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> (Ps i didn't proofread this i really can't be arsed don't hate me)

The nights had been rough. Sigyn had woken many a time breathless and covered in sweat, looking to her left and seeing an empty spot where Loki would usually be. She had realised that she had come to need his comfort in her sleep and had grown used to his arm draped casually around her waist. She needed him simply for sleep, and such a dependancy scared her. It had taken her years to form such a bond with Amora, and even sometimes now she was taken aback with by how close they had become, and to have such a bond with someone who was a stranger but a couple of months ago scared her. 

The last couple of nights, her nightmares had become all but unbearable and she had resorted to taking herbal remedies to help her sleep properly. Even then, one night she awoke screaming, begging for them to stop and leave her alone, to stop hurting her mother and yet, even in her state of consciousness she couldn’t shake the tears that fell freely from her cheeks. 

She reached out, looking for Loki as a form of comfort, only to yet again find a completely empty bed. Completely lost, she stayed frozen, tears still falling freely from wide childlike eyes, completely enveloped with fear. She hated this, being alone again after forming an attachment, especially one she valued so. It was just as it happened, people left and eventually found themselves unwilling to return. 

She had seen Loki within the past few days, he had been at breakfast, lunch and dinner, he had followed her dutifully through her meetings and tried his best to seem pleased, however that was all that it was, a duty. She was sure that if she hadn’t offered him the place of ‘consort’ he wouldn’t even leave the library, which he seemed to spend all his time nowadays. 

She let out a sob, the images of the past almost consuming her mind completely, and making her entire body shake in fear. Those nightmares, as common as they were to her, still struck her in the most painful way possible. It always reminded her that no one was ever constant. Everyone has to leave at some time, and right now wasn’t a good moment to be reminded of that. 

Sigyn took in a deep breath, composed herself and wiped away the tears, refusing to acknowledge the fear which simple memories struck into her heart. Yes she was terrified, but no-one else needed to know that.

She pulled the blanket from her, threw on a robe over her nightgown and padded towards her door, before slipping through it and making her way through the halls. Ironically enough, within the moonlight, Sigyn found that she found the shadows less large, and the shapes softer, less imposing on her. Of course, many would argue otherwise, but by the light of the moons, it seemed that not much could go wrong.

She took a turn towards the palace gardens, wanting to be surrounded by something other than wood and the occasional cobblestone, and made her way down the steps to be engulfed by the foliage. When she said garden, it was more of a somewhat tamed forest. Often if one was quiet enough, you could see the creatures dancing around within the trees.

One of the trees had far more smoothed out trunks and limbs than others, often people could see children climbing them due to ease of access, however Sigyn had a specific tree, she liked to think of it as her tree, which she found not many a person could climb.

Eventually, she found it, with its towering mass, lack of footholds and high branches. Its flowers still there, left over from spring and giving it a ghostly beautiful atmosphere in the best of ways. One petal fell down and brushed against her cheek, landing on her shoulder, before sliding off gently.

She sighed and jumped as high as she could, hoisting herself up onto the thick branch, before repeating the action. The higher she climbed, the lighter she felt, every branch pushing her further away from her problems and closer to the heavens which she looked up to in so many instances. When she finally made it almost to the top, the last branch that would support her, she sat, and stared up at the galaxy’s which surrounded her, and made her feel inexplicably small. And as a queen, a ruler and the holder of the worlds weight, she had found at a young age that was a comforting feeling. 

She looked upon the moons which so often hung in the sky, trying so hard to imagine what the world would look without them shedding light upon her, and yet they were the only constant. Even the stars vanished occasionally.

“I know you’ll always be there for me.” She whispered, as if it were a secret worth sharing, something forbidden which she couldn’t ever tell another soul.

“You’re constant. Not like people, or beings, you’re reliable. I can trust you to stay, can’t I?” She looked back at them hanging in the sky, comforting in ways others wouldn’t understand. She took their silence, their constancy as a yes.

She often came and asked these questions. When things were getting tough or if she was hurting. When she lost her mother, she climbed higher on these branches than she was now and screamed at the orbs, begging them to bring her back. Her throat was so raw that she couldn’t speak for days, otherwise it hurt too much, but a sore throat didn’t stop tears.

And yet, after almost a thousand years of love, loss and fear they still stayed, soothing her in her qualms.

“Perhaps I’m not meant to be around, perhaps I’m meant to be left.” The words came out of her mouth freely. She wasn’t afraid of offending someone, or perhaps hurting someone in a way that she could feel. The moons didn’t ask anything of her, they were just there.

“Why does he hate me?” Now it had become present. The other question she had asked a thousand times, but this was new, this was now. This was Loki.

“I tried, and I thought he might be comfortable enough,” She let out a scream of frustration, which carried above the forest canopy like wind carried leaves. If he didn’t like her, he could have simply said no. No to her bed, no to her friendship, no to being her consort, but he didn’t. He stayed, and then left, and that was what hurt most, “Clearly not comfortable enough to actually stay. He didn’t leave, not physically at least.” 

She was crying again, the tears landing on nearby leaves and dropping through the foliage to eventually meet the ground. She looked up to the skies again, eyes brimming with tears which so clearly reflected every nebula, every star, every galaxy, every moon. In her eyes, they all remained.

“What’s wrong with me.” It wasn’t a question. None of this was, more of a declaration of her brokenness. She was hurt, but no one could know that. A queen had to be strong, but the thing about being strong all the time is that it was like being the biggest, brightest star. When you collapse, you ruin everything near you, become a black hole of anger and suck the light out of everything. So instead of becoming a black hole, she screamed at the stars. At the moons. At no one.

Eventually, she exhausted herself, her throat becoming sore from the screaming, and her tear ducts empty of tears. Eventually, she was tired enough that if she went back to sleep the nightmares wouldn’t hurt as much, and may even stay away.

She went to the last branch, taking a moment to sit upon it, swinging her legs in a carefree manner, even though she was all but carefree, before hopping from it and landing gracefully. As she made her way back to the palace, she didn’t see the pair of eyes following her from behind a trunk, who had heard her entire outburst, her confessions, her secrets, and every one of them had been a blow to the heart in an inexplicably horrid way. 

Loki watched her walk away, posture just as crumpled as she felt, and truly hated himself for allowing her to believe that he was lovable in any way. He leaned against one of the many trees and closed his eyes, desperate to get her anguished filled screams from his ears, and yet all he could hear instead was “Why does he hate me?”

Oh, if only she knew how much he truly cared for her, and why he couldn’t show it, perhaps the situation would be different, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, not with words at least.

He began walking back to the castle, trying not to draw any attention to himself, though it wasn’t hard considering the time and how dark it was, and made his way back to the room, trying to think of a way to help Sigyn in the state she was in, without possibly putting her in harms way. 

Eventually, he made it to the door, and slipped through wordlessly, before ending up at the bed, where Sigyn lay sleeping on her side and facing towards him. He saw the tear marks on her cheeks, and the puffy red of underneath her eyes. Her eyebrows were scrunched, oh stars not another nightmare. 

Screw it, if the spell could withstand almost two months within the same bed and only break down around a week ago, then Loki was sure it could withstand another night.

He tried to get into bed as gently as possible, worried of waking her, before pulling Sigyn towards him and carefully cradling his body with hers, and wrapping his arm around her waist. Instantly he felt her relax against him, allowing her head to fall against his shoulder and lay in the crook there. She let out a breath, though unconscious, of what seemed to be relief. Loki felt bad for waiting so long to simply comfort her, and yet he hoped to every star she screamed to that the sentiment wasn’t lost.

He buried his face in her hair, his breath tickling his ear as it usually did, and yet instead of pulling away from discomfort, she seemed to lean into the familiar sensation. He felt her magic, thrumming beneath her skin. If it was for the fact that he was currently wearing an illusion, or simply because he took the time to notice it, he found it was comforting him and lulling him into a gentle slumber which he hadn’t expected to fall into so easily. Though he felt a twinkling of fear that he would either hurt her, or she would finally see him for what he truly was, he couldn’t find the heart to care. So long as she didn’t feel the need to turn to stars any longer, and rather found that she could trust him. As his eyes closed, he could swear he felt a tingling within his fingertips, however before he could process it, sleep overtook him.

Mercifully, no more nightmares came that night.


	13. Fear not what you have no reason to fear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki doesn't realise how truly weak the spell which keeps him 'normal' is, until he wakes up to find he has reverted completely to his natural shade of deep blue in his sleep, and Sigyn has seen all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone, just here to say this may be my last chap for about 3/4 days, caus i have exams in the next few days, and after that chapters may come around every two days rather than every one day, caus I'm heading back to school after tuesday. hope you guys will still read, and hope you still enjoy it! 
> 
> Love you all
> 
> Sophie xx

It was Sigyn’s curious hand, tracing patterns on his cheek which woke him, though he wasn’t sure why, he felt somewhat more afraid than usual. He was slightly on edge and every little movement felt slightly more dangerous, though he did enjoy the feeling of her fingers guiding themselves around the contours of his face. It was him physically opening his eyes which somewhat gave away why he felt he needed to be more aware of danger, mostly because he could see tints of blood red hues reflected in Sigyn’s eyes, which were wide in awe.

Of course, he didn’t catch on immediately, only when he brought his hand to wipe away the sleep that had collected in his eyes, and saw a mass of blue did he finally panic. He lurched away, tangling himself in the blanket and slipping off the bed in an almost comical way, before desperately shuffling backwards into one of the walls and trying his hardest to cover as much of himself in it as possible, which was proving harder than initially thought due to how in his panic he had somehow frozen parts of the quilt in place.

He was desperately trying to shuffle a little further back, perhaps trying to make the wall engulf him, anything to get further away from Sigyn, but the wall stayed strong, as did the laws of physics, and he was stuck staring terrified into her curious eyes.

His chest was rising and falling quickly, unable to control the complete fear he felt. The fear that she would either run or come closer. He wasn’t sure which would be worse. Perhaps is he tried to vanish? No that couldn’t and wouldn’t work, not with her, not ever with her.

She slowly slipped off the bed, her feet hitting the wooden floor gently with almost no sound, before she began taking tentative steps towards Loki, trying not to alarm him in any way with quick movements. She cries to the moon, goes to bed, doesn’t have nightmares and then wakes up with her consort as a Jötun, overall she was handling the events of that day pretty well considering they hadn’t even had breakfast.

“Loki?” It wasn’t harsh, not like his when he had found out, not how he imagined Thor would react, and certainly not how he had imagined her to react. She was reassuring him, rather than hunting him.

“Loki, are you alright?” He was frozen in place, trying so hard to comprehend how she could simply brush aside the fact that he had literally changed to a primary colour whilst they both slept. The frost that had been confined by the blanket had begun to steadily spread through the rest of the room, stopping just before her feet, making Loki’s breathing increase even more, afraid that if she stepped on it she’d be consumed by the cold.

However when she stepped upon the ice, not a single crystal appeared on her in any way.

She took another tentative step, getting ever closer and not seeming to fear what she was approaching. Instead, she looked curious, interested, rather than repulsed. 

The closer she got, the higher his heart rate went. He tried so hard to try and move, yet he was completely unable to get himself to slip away. He found himself trying his hardest instead, not to lean towards her as she took steps closer. 

She kneeled in front of him, already too close he should think, still looking at him in awe, examining every dip and contour, every different pattern across his face, shoulders and neck with such delicate curiosity.

She reached her hand out.

“No.”

She drew it back, tilting her head questioningly.

“You can’t touch me, I’ll hurt you.” He sounded genuinely scared for her, despite the fact that he had literally been holding her moments before, and she had touched his cheek with not a single moment of pain.

“Loki, you won’t.” She was speaking softly, yet firmly, as one would talk to a child in distress. In many ways, this was almost exactly how they had met, and somehow, it felt as if they were meeting properly for the first time. She saw him as he truly was, and he saw her through his own eyes, not those of the spells.

He felt his vision go slightly blurry, tears beginning to collect and threaten to spill. How he could fabricate tears in this state was beyond him, yet at that moment he didn’t care. He just wanted to turn back, to be something, anything else than what he was.

“I’m not a good person.” One tear finally slipped out, not freezing as it traveled, somehow remaining completely liquid. He hated being this, hated what he was, who he was and sometimes wished he had instead been left to die in that temple. But no, Odin was a thief, and Loki was alive.

“Loki-“

“I’M A MONSTER.” He couldn’t help himself, emotions so raw and so, present. Everything he represented was another strike. He hated himself, how he was simply a political gain before he was a son, how he ended up being just as useless as the lint that gathered on Odin’s coat. How Thor, unknowing of his ‘brothers’ heritage spoke of the ice giants, every cruel word cutting a little deeper, and now Sigyn, whom he was sure would run away, leave him as she should of done when he was first offered. Gifted. Simply to be rid of.

Instead, he felt a soft thumb wipe away a stray tear, causing him to gasp and lurch back. His eyes flung open and he saw Sigyn kneeling before him, her hand still extended, thumb wet from where she caught the tear.

“See, you didn’t hurt me,” she was giving him a kind smile, exactly the opposite of what he expected within the situation. She leaned towards him and cupped his head in her palms, “You would never hurt me.”

It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t unsure. It was said with complete certainty that made Loki almost believe it. She was searching his eyes for any sign of doubt, hers bright with a fierce protectiveness he would like to see anyone challenge. 

“You are good.” Yet another statement, said with such truth that he found that perhaps he could eventually believe her, could understand why she did care for him rather than simply leave him alone in the dungeons of Asgard.

He leaned into her hand, loving the stark contrast of warm and cool which radiated from them both. She was touching him and yet she was unharmed. So he accepted the contact, rather than rejected it, and simply enjoyed the ability to relax into her. Sigyn, rather than pull him closer to her, leaned towards him and rested her forehead against his, simply to prove a point, that point being you would not hurt me.

Finally, he digressed and completely ditched all efforts to be rid of skin to skin contact, and brought his arms around her neck, letting her be ever closer to him. He could feel her breath brushing gently against his lips, and her hair, still not groomed by Amora for the day, tickling his cheek gently. He could feel her nose brushing ever so slightly against him, could yet again feel the sheer power coursing under her skin, reassuring him. 

She felt, heard more like, his breath hitch slightly when she brushed her nose gently against his, could feel the way he was trying to bring her closer without actually pulling her, the way he was holding her so intimately, yet causally. It made her heart flutter in her chest and made those lips so much more alluring, slightly open and so close. 

She felt herself leaning in slowly, giving him a chance to protest, instead she felt his hand wind into her hair and push her the couple of extra inches to where their lips finally met. 

Loki instantly pulled himself ever closer, wanting no space to be left between them as their lips moulded against each other, polite as they both were, it was too much, they were too close to simply go slowly. They clung to each other, Sigyn slipping her tongue just against Loki’s cold lips, wanting to be so much closer even though almost every inch of exposed skin was touching. Loki responded by pushing her head even closer, both of them now so easily moving together. Loki let his tongue slip against hers, tasting her and exploring her in every way he had wished he could. Sigyn found herself gripping the robe he was wearing desperately, bunching the material between her fists as he kissed her deeper and deeper. All the while her heart hammered in her chest, beating faster than it ever had.

Eventually, they both pulled away from each other, panting heavily. Sigyn lay her head in the crook of his shoulder, finding the cool of his skin so refreshing against her flushing cheeks. Loki responded in suit, by resting his head against hers. 

Both trying to comprehend the situation, none said a word.

Sigyn felt Loki’s arm drop from her hair and snake around her waist, being followed by the other, before pulling her towards him. She smiled against his neck and brought her arms around it, allowing herself to be completely consumed by the embrace.

“I like it.” Loki heard Sigyn say, still buried in his neck which muffled her words slightly.

“What?” Of course he wasn’t sure what she was talking about. The kiss? Him? 

“Blue, it’s my second favourite colour.” She had shifted back to look into his eyes, which some would have called unnerving due to the particular shade of red which completely engulfed them, instead Sigyn found them rather hypnotic as opposed to fear inspiring.

She saw him smile, white teeth in stark contrast to the dark shade of blue which covered him completely. It was a sheepish smile as one would give when embarrassed about a certain subject, however she found that rather than embarrassment, it would probably apologetic. 

He looked down towards the blanket which was still wrapped around his waist, frozen, not letting them be completely holding. He found himself letting out a laugh of relief, thankful to every god listening that she was both tolerant and had a sense of humour, or this situation would have gone very differently.

Again, she lifted her hand and began to trace the patterns that adorned his face, noticing where sometimes they would merge with small, almost unnoticeable scars, and how he seemed to enjoy her touch as she followed the small lines, loving how he leaned into her hand almost casually.

“Why do you fear this?” 

He sighed and looked up at her. She couldn’t help but still se the vulnerability of before, only in a different shade.

“How could you not?” He replied.

She giggled a little, before leaning back in to capture his lips in hers, loving how cold they were and how easily they responded. She pulled back after a moment and gave him a quick peck on the forehead.

“I fear you in the same way one fears a dog.” he cocked his head at this, an amused smile gracing his features.

“How so?” He found himself trying to humour her, whilst also somewhat curious to find what the answer might be. 

“I don’t, because I have no reason to.”


	14. He doesn't know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn gets an announcement that by the next day, Thor of Asgard will be visiting her realm, for some unknown reason. Of course, she decides to tell Loki (it was his brother after all) however things don't go exactly according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *to the tune of the final countdown*
> 
> It's a MENTAL BREAKDOWN
> 
> *offkey wazoo*
> 
> so anyway, I'm back so here have some angst
> 
> got to leave a quick shoutout for Tamuril2 who gave me some cool ideas and overall seems to be a cool dude so, hi dude how's life?
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Sophie xx

Of course, Loki had decided not to tell everyone that he was the spawn of a race of snowmen at the same time as he had accidentally revealed it to Sigyn, however it was odd not to have him behind her in all her meetings. She found she had less patience with Lord Balinire, ready to snap at him if necessary rather than endure his perpetual whining. She simply wanted to return to her chambers and talk with him, rather than be involved with her court, which she was quickly growing tiresome of their childish bickering and was very much considering using a couple of them as mannequins for target practice.

Her finger tapped upon the table, each time it struck the table another crack emanated from the contact between nail and wood. Although she wasn’t actually damaging the table, the sentiment remained.

The council, quickly sensing the queens impatience, had decided perhaps it was best to continue with caution. Though caution was most likely a good idea, it did mean that they took twice as long to deliver daily news simply because they wanted to gauge her reaction and make sure she didn’t kill them. This of course, simply made her want to throttle them more.

Such violent thoughts weren’t unusual to Sigyn. Of course, she was a queen and was supposed to be a calm leader, however when one watches people die in their dreams every night, such thoughts tend to infect one’s mind. Even as a child she was very much able to visualise exactly how she would dispatch of people who would hurt or annoy her. Back then however, she had decided to tell them exactly, in perfect detail, what she would do, making it very hard for people to be comfortable in the little girls presence.

“And, my lady, there is one more matter to address.” By his tone, Sigyn was sure that this would possibly be the last, and worst thing, to be said in this meeting today. Save the worst till last, wonderful.

She sighed and sunk slightly lower in her seat. Amora was behind her, waiting to see if she would snap or simply allow them to continue.

“We have received word that we are to have a visitor tomorrow.” Lord Balinire said, trying his best to keep his trembling voice somewhat even.

She perked up, somewhat interested. Usually she had to allow visitors in the realm, otherwise they would most likely wind up with an official army escort and a beautiful new pair of iron bracelets. 

“And whom exactly is said visitor?”

They all gulped. Oh boy.

Amora stood up behind her, getting ready to open the door should she require a quick exit, already figuring out the rout from the council room to the storage space where the wood dummies were kept. Not to say that she would need them. Not at all.

“Thor, my lady.”

Silence.

Sigyn was completely still, wheels turning in her head trying to figure out exactly what this meant. She felt herself take in a deep, calming breath, before breaking the still silence which had settled over the room.

“Council dismissed.”

As she walked out of the room, she saw all in the chamber physically relax, some even resting their head on the ornate wood table. Sigyn didn’t have time to care though, she had to tell Loki. She was trying to wrap her head around the whole situation, the sudden announcement of the crown prince of Asgard only just making its way to her the day before he arrived threw her off guard long enough for her council to scatter before what was happening truly sunk in.

She made her way to her room, flanked by Amora who, for some reason was more scared by her comparatively leisurely pace than her usual hard-to-keep-up-with strides.

“My lady?” Sigyn was completely silent, either from shock or unwillingness to discuss the subject. She wasn’t sure how he would react to his brother, or rather not-so-brother joining them within the hall of kings, or better yet what his relationship with him was, nonetheless she felt that more than anyone, he needed to know.

Sigyn stopped before the oak doors, trying her best to find some sort of excuse not to go through them. The meeting was over, that was essentially all she had to do that day, so the only thing she had to do was push open the double doors. And yet, something was holding her back.

“My lady.” It wasn’t a question. It was Amora giving Sigyn that little push she needed.

She sighed and pushed against the wood, bracing herself for the conversation again.

She walked through the doors, trying her best to do so as inconspicuously as possible, and yet the wood seemed to thunder as she entered. Even though the doors seemed to be making more noise than Loki’s adoptive brother would should he decide to visit today, he was too engrossed with the book he was currently reading to care. She had found that sometimes if she looked through the books that he had been previously reading she would find that they would have touched of frost decorating the pages, spreading intricately through the words, yet not impairing the story in any way.

He was curled in a chair near the fireplace, which was rarely lit when he sat by it, and small touches of ice had begun to curl around the fabric. Clearly the story was entertaining and engaging enough to make him feel intensely. She had found that when he felt things strongly, such as fear, the rooms temperature would plummet. Nightmares to him were extremely dangerous to them both.

Of course, there were spells to keep her safe, and of course, Loki had cast them all as soon as he had learnt them. So when she walked up to him and gently placed her hand on his tens shoulder, she wasn’t at all afraid of what would happen.

He froze quickly, before relaxing into her touch and closing the book, not before letting a small touch of frost mark his place. It had begun to decorate her room beautifully, spreading gorgeous patterns all over the walls.

“Hello,” he let his head fall back against her stomach, enjoying the warmth radiating from her compared to his relative cold.

“Hello.” She laid her other hand within his hair, enjoying the small smile which graced his lips, and dreaded wiping it off.

She knew he wasn’t alright, and that when he was awake before her it wasn’t because he was just an ‘early riser,’ but rather someone who didn’t enjoy the torment of sleep. Of course, she didn’t pry, for fear that it would drive him away, and yet she felt a question on the tip of her tongue which she feared asking.

If he could feel the tension in her, he wasn’t giving it away.

“What did they want to talk about today?” His eyes had closed and he was simply enjoying the relative peace of the room.

Sigyn cleared her throat and took in a deep breath, as if she was about to make a long speech in front of important people, either that or try and shout down an entire army.

“Love?” His eyes were open, the red seeming to burn into hers.

“We’ve a guest coming tomorrow, whom I think you should perhaps be informed of.” He straightened in his seat, anticipating whatever she may say. Was it Odin? Probably not, he wasn’t truly concerned for Loki, and should he come it was most likely not for him anyway.

“Your brother.”

He froze. Thank god not in the physical sense, but rather his entire body locked into place and he stared off into space for a worrying long time. Either he was thrilled or in complete fear.

“Loki?” He wasn’t moving, save for his chest which had begun to rise and fall rapidly. Such a change was becoming somewhat alarming considering he was still completely frozen in place.

His breathing had increased, becoming shallow, and his whole body had started to curl into itself. Of course, Sigyn knew exactly what this was, having experienced it herself, and instantly dashed to the front of the chair to try and comfort him. His eyes had gone wide and it seemed that his entire body was folding into itself, and tears had started to pool in his eyes. Whilst he was taking in as much breath as possible, it was as if he was completely unable to breath, and that all of the air in the room had been removed.

She grabbed one of his hands, the possible arctic cold emanating from them not affecting her in the slightest. She pulled him closer and engulfed him in her embrace, feeling the tears finally spill onto her chest, running over her clothes and his cheeks. 

She could feel his entire body almost shivering against hers, trying its hardest to actually breath properly, and yet the only thing that happened was tears falling and breaths were shallower.

She pulled him closer to her and rested her mouth by his ear, whispering soothing words and gently shushing him, yet nothing seemed to have an effect on his shaking body.

He kept repeating the same words over and over again; he can’t know, he doesn’t know.

She felt herself begin to run her hands through his hair, as some sort of an effort to calm him and make some sense of the situation. She knew that it was caused by her mentioning Thor as she had so adamantly wanted to avoid, and yet such a reaction was not one she had expected from someone’s brother. Perhaps he was the one to hurt Loki? Probably not. When Loki spoke of his brother it was in relative fondness, rather than the bitterness in which he addressed Odin.

She had a reassuring hand resting on his shoulder blade, feeling his rapid breathing which seemed to be relenting somewhat. His tears were still falling, perhaps even doubling as his breath began to even out.

His grip on her robe had appeared through their embrace, spreading a large amount of frost over the material as he gripped her tighter. She tried to whisper reassuring words to him, to coax whatever truth he had hidden from him yet he only repeated what he had been saying before.

He had his head buried in her chest, trying his best to regain some sort of composure. He knew that it was simply a visit, and if he wanted to do so he could remain in the room, yet the insufferable fear which gripped him tightly, and made breathing hard had decided to strike simply for the name of his brother.

She found that changing the way she was holding him would distract him from his thoughts, so varying where she had her hand rested made his breathing slow. She gave gentle kisses to his temple, hair and cheek, kissing away the tears which seemed not to relent.

Eventually, she brought both hands to his cold cheeks and lifted his face to be at the same level to hers, and yet his eyes were still cast down, weeping freely. 

“Loki, what’s wrong, did he hurt you?” She was searching his averted gaze, looking for any sort of betrayal of his attempted stoicism. 

“Loki,” his eyes met hers, “Did he hurt you.” 

Loki shook his head gently, leaning more into her calming touch, tears tracking over her fingers.

“Then what’s wrong.” Her forehead was brought to rest on his, her breath gently fanning his face. 

Loki’s red eyes burned brightly, the light shining off them tinting her vision red as she peered into them, and long after she suspected. They, though seeming to be threatening, were laced with regret for some absurd reason which Sigyn had a sneaking suspicion was why he reacted so badly to the news of his brother returning.

“He doesn’t know I’m alive.”


	15. Both, I suppose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki explains to Sigyn exactly why Thor thinks he's dead, and a few other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO! guess who's back at it, with those nightly (possibly) updates
> 
> hope ya enjoy this one, have fun with the angst.
> 
> my tumblr: ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash.tumblr.com
> 
> Love ya all!
> 
> Sophie xx

“Beg your pardon?”

Loki’s eyes had yet to dry of tears, still they pursued through his slightly life changing revelation.

“He doesn’t know I’m alive and, well… blue.”

Sigyn sighed and drew back slightly, not to distance herself from fear, but rather to be able to see him more clearly and gauge his reaction, fearing certain questions may trigger him again.

“Why exactly does he think you’re, well, dead?” Loki took in a deep, shaky breath, trying his best to compose himself from the conversation which was to arise.

He pulled Sigyn back, who had just gone to the standing position, and brought her to him so that his head was resting in her stomach, trying its best to stop the tears of both guilt and fear which were still flowing freely, despite his somewhat even breathing. She stood above him, and began to untangled his raven locks, which she found had a habit of hiding his face, should they want to.

“I made a mistake.” He whispered into her gown, carrying the words almost like a secret.

Sigyn made no move to stop him, but none to egg him on either. Should he want to speak of it he would.

“I was supposed to die, I had been stabbed, I thought I was dead, turned out not.” Alright, he did want to speak of it.

Sigyn kept brushing her hands through his hair, endlessly curious of where this story was to go, and somewhat horrified that the opening line was of death and mutilation, and yet she kept silent, not wanting to disturb him in any way.

“We were trying to stop a catastrophe, we were on Svartalfheim, fighting dark elves whom were hell bent on universal darkness, and Thor’s lover seemed to have found possession of an infinity stone,” he took a breath, before continuing, “and so she was to be a weapon. We fought, I came against a cursed whom I stabbed.”

His words were becoming strained, his breathing beginning to pick up pace again. Sigyn dropped to be lower than him so she could look in his teary eyes. They were completely unfocused and staring at a place which didn’t exist.

She took his hand in hers, trying to give some sort of comfort, which he acknowledged by applying pressure to it, in order to reassure himself of reality.

“He stabbed me.” Sigyn felt her breath hitch, trying her hardest not to imagine Loki, lying on the barren grounds of Svartalfheim, injured and bleeding to death, and yet all she could see was the wound, the fear.

“And, you survived?” He took in another shaky breath, managing to compose himself.

“A scout found me, dragged me back to Asgard and presented me to the king.” She could feel him shaking, not wanting to continue past that point. She got the general idea, he pretended to die and a now morally corrupt Odin, grieving his wife and lacking a son, decided to take his grief out on his ‘son’. She didn’t need to hear the details of it, and nor would she ever force Loki to tell such things.

He opened his mouth to continue but all that came out was silence, his eyes were screwed shut and he had stopped breathing, trying to repress the sobs which were threatening to overtake him once more.

Instead of calming him, Sigyn let a wave of sadness engulf them both, finding it more necessary for him to grieve what had happened rather than repress, leading to him sobbing into the shoulder of her gown, both of them sat on the floor and holding one another as if their lives depended on it.

He simply cried, for as long as necessary. Sigyn did not fuel the sadness, finding that he only needed that small push to allow himself to feel, and instead decided to remain with him in her arms till he tired himself out or stopped crying, whichever came first.

Whilst he cried, he choked out incoherent phrases, the clearest being: “Mother, it was all my fault,” before another wave of despair hit him harder that the hammer his brother wielded.

His tears seemed to be infinite, along with the list of crimes he professed in her ear in almost complete gibberish, however more than once she heard the words ‘it hurt too much’ and more than once she heard talk of murders, or accidental deaths, however every time he said it, it seemed to weigh him down more than relieve him, possibly because talking of it, sharing it with Sigyn was more of a punishment to himself, rather than an atonement. 

Because when confessing to a priest, the priest can’t leave.

He knew full well the more he confessed, the more likely she was to leave, yet he couldn’t stop speaking. He spoke of his torture induced Midguardian murder spree, and how he had never felt more disgusted with himself than when his body, contradicting his screaming mind, had raised a weapon against a brave old man. He spoke of how scared he was when he first woke up after his attempted suicide by falling down a black whole. He spoke of so many things which burdened him, and whilst it lightened his guilty gut, his heart became heavier and heavier with the fear she would stand and walk away, for fear of disgust of him.

He was certain that she could barely understand the verbal mess which was exiting him at over 100 miles per hour, but he was certain he heard her breath hitch when he spoke of his mother, and her death.

Eventually, he tired himself out, every word that had left him had taxed him more than the last, his tear ducts had run out of liquid to lose and his whole body was shaking from sheer exhaustion. He had tucked himself into Sigyn’s still present arms, enjoying simply laying on her whilst she still ran her hand soothingly through his hair. His eyes were heavy and yet he refused to let them close.

He nuzzled his forehead into her neck, trying to get comfortable, and enjoying how she brought her hands around his waist and drew him closer to her. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” The gentle nod of his head registered on her collar bone.

Sigyn sighed and adjusted her grip so that it was under his arms, and tried hoisting him up, only to have him whine slightly and wrap his arms around her neck, and his legs around her hips. He nuzzled back into her neck, seemingly asserting that, whilst he wanted sleep, he didn’t need a bed to do so.

Instead of complaining, Sigyn adjusted her grip yet again and wrapped her arms around his waist, before standing up and carrying a very clingy Loki with her, whom was either laughing in her neck or sniffing, most likely laughing.

She laid him down on the bed, only to find he refused to let go, and instead tightened his grip, bringing her down on the bed in an odd yet comforting embrace. 

“Loki?” He groaned into her neck, almost slumbering.

“Loki I have to change.” His grip tightened more.

“Don’t go.” 

She froze, stopping her attempts to dislodge him from her, and instead remained completely still. She tried her best not to put all of her weight on Loki and instead of pulling away, rewrapped her arms around him and pulled herself onto the bed once more, curling around him protectively.

“Alright.”

She brought her chin on to his forehead and rested there, holding him ever closer to her body. She felt him shift slightly, his legs curling into his body rather than wrapped around hers, leaving him in the foetal position with her embracing him.

“Would I have to meet him?” His voice was sleepy, almost not registering the question asked.

“Not necessarily, if you want you can stay here.” She buried her face in his hair, allowing herself to relax into the embrace.

He sighed and shook his head.

“He has to know at some point, I suppose.”

Sigyn hummed in agreement, letting sleep begin to sink its claws into her.

“About you being alive, or that you’re.. blue?”

She heard a chuckle and felt him look up towards her.

“Both, I supposed.”


	16. Loki remains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn and Loki finally face the fact that Thor is coming, and sooner or later he is going to be made aware of the not-so-deadness of his adoptive brother, so rather than hide Loki away and keep him from telling Thor or revealing himself, they chose to tackle the matter together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO THIS IS MY LONGEST CHAPTER EVER
> 
> so anyway, have some angst my lovelies
> 
> love you all, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> (BTW: 3000 people have read my shit?????? noice my guys)

The day in which Thor arrived was completely hectic. 

When Sigyn awoke her entire bed was overtaken with frost, which had spread all the way up her bed, engulfing the entirety of her tapestries and blankets. Of course she couldn’t feel any cold, or frost biting into her as the spell held fast.

Loki was still curled up, his eyes closed and his face set in a mask of peace, but Sigyn was almost certain that fear had gripped his dreams at one point during the night. His hand was curled around Sigyn’s arm and his relaxed state, which wouldn’t last for long, made her look upon him with a fond smile.

He shifted slightly, curling the blankets tighter around himself, either to cocoon himself into his self-created cold, or perhaps to warm up as impossible as it sounded. Yet he still kept one arm around Sigyn, as he usually did every night. She wanted nothing more to curl up and remain, yet she knew the Crown Prince of Asgard would be arriving as soon as he needed to, and to be perfectly honest Sigyn knew she wanted him gone as soon as he could be.

“Loki?” He hummed and pulled himself closer to her, despite being much taller he still managed to be able to curl into such small places. Sigyn didn’t want to think about why he acquired such a talent.

“Loki, I have to go and prepare.” He groaned in acknowledgement, and yet still remained in the exact same position.

She smiled and leaned down, giving him a slight kiss on the forehead, before gently lifting his arm and slipping out of bed, still in her clothes from the night before.

She heard a faint rustling in the bed, either sheets being thrown off or simply moved underneath, the former being confirmed when she heard the faint pat of Loki’s footsteps towards the bathroom.

She sighed and shook her head, hoping to every god that existed that Loki would make it through this day in one piece. She would calm him as much as possible if necessary, side effects of her powers be damned, just so he could make it through the meeting without a panic attack.

She picked out a flowing robe which would easily hide her hidden dagger, should it be necessary to use at any point, and grabbed another from the wardrobe for Loki, the pastel oranges and slight hints of peach would be a complete contrast from his dark blue skin and bright red eyes. 

She heard water running, before a light splash and then the click of the door unlocking, revealing Loki still in the previous nights clothes, holding a small towel to his face which had light crystals spreading from his face to the material, only helped further by the damp of the cloth. 

She brought up the robe for him to examine, seeing him give a small, nervous smile in response to the almost ceremonial look of the garment.

She brought it down to the side of the bed and walked towards him, bringing her hands to his cheeks and cradling his head in them, giving a reassuring tap at the sides of his cheekbones.

“Loki, you don’t have to do this.” He laughed humourlessly, leaning in slightly into her touch.

“What am I to do then? Ignore him forever?” She gave a little nod, if he wished so she would make it that they would never have to see each other again. She knew that wasn’t something which would solve the problem, and yet she felt that if Loki wanted it as such, Sigyn would do it.

His eyes softened, shining a faint red light on her and reflecting clearly in hers, constantly reminding Loki of his heritage and how he wished it wasn’t so.

“Worse comes to worse, he leaves.” She whispered leaning in slightly.

He nodded, trying his best to keep control over the Thor shaped butterflies currently laying waste to his stomach.

Sigyn brought him closer, and connected their lips, giving him a gentle kiss, both for his reassurance and hers, before pulling back slightly and leaning here forehead against his.

“I will be there the whole time, I promise.” 

A small huff made its way past his lips, before he straightened and walked to the bed, grabbing the dress and getting ready to change. By the time both of them had changed, Loki sporting a small gold chain woven through his hair with coral flowers, Sigyn with her signature crown, Amora had come along to wake them up. Of course, she was used to Sigyn being up slightly earlier than her wake up call, yet seeing them both changed and ready was something she was most definitely not accustom to.

They walked to breakfast in an almost tense silence, each step reverberating around the walls with an almost sickening crack which made the trio shudder. The entire staff was scrambling about, making up a bed and a room for their almost unexpected guest, or trying to prepare a dinner large enough for the fabled insatiable prince. The entire court was rushing around barking orders to servants, trying to hurry them along as quickly as possible, and yet Sigyn strolled slowly, gently lacing her hand with Loki’s and giving it a reassuring squeeze, which he responded with in kin.

They ate in complete silence, trying to get some sort of sustenance rather than walk around on an empty stomach. Sigyn was feeling faint as it was, Loki however had begun to tremble slightly from fear. They weren’t sure if Thor had arrived yet, and though it would reduce the wait, Sigyn wasn’t sure if she wanted him here yet.

A crack of thunder from outside made everyone jump, Sigyn feeling the fruits she had just eaten rise in her throat. Loki looked positively terrified, trying his best not to let the frost which had begun to spread on the table reach the meal which had been laid out for them.

Sigyn brought a hand to rest upon Loki’s, who seemed to relax only a fraction, and yet it was better than leaving him to stress alone. She drew out her chair and went to stand by Loki’s, waiting patiently for him to either stand or proclaim that he couldn’t face his brother.

Of course, he stood with a huff and instantly grabbed Sigyn’s hand, needing some sort of an anchor so that he didn’t run. Every step towards the occupied throne room was agony, his frost seeming to follow him as his robes swept the floor, allowing it to spread like a disease. 

Sigyn was gripping his hand with a ferocity, her stance almost protective over him even though they hadn’t even caught sight of Thor, and her hand was unconsciously tucked under her robes, fiddling with her dagger should a bad situation arise. She could feel Loki trying to control his breathing, and perhaps not cause a nationwide early winter, and she found herself trying to do the same, remembering to take in deep breaths to put at bay the rising nausea.

The doors drew closer and closer, each step becoming more and more dulled by the slowing of their movements. They could hear a conversation from behind it, the thunderous laughter of the boisterous prince and a slight chuckle from a lord who had taken to occupying him. Sigyn stopped and turned to Loki, trying her best to think of something to say.

He gave her a weak smile and a nod, before they both turned to face the doors, each of them as nervous as the other. Thor wouldn’t be aware of either of their presences until they had made it to the throne, due to the walls behind it which would easily hide an army of 500, so the only signal that they had actually entered the throne room was the loud banging as the two enormous pieces of oak closed behind them, making Loki and Sigyn almost shout out in fright.

They heard the conversation pause, and so it was their cue to walk on.

Sigyn went first, her fingers slipping from his as she walked to face the court and her guest, as was dictated. Loki from where he was hidden heard a rumble of ‘my queen’s’, as well as an especially loud one which he suspected was from his brother. 

He felt his heart hammering in his chest. Trying his best not to trip on his robe or throw up, he gently made his way towards the throne and stood by Sigyn’s side, hearing a small series of gasps, but refusing to look up towards the crowd. What he didn’t hear was angry footsteps leaving, or Mjölnir being swung towards him. Sigyn’s hand found his way to his, somewhat keeping his fear at bay for a little. 

Thor was uncharacteristically quiet. 

Looking upon the court, Sigyn could see many of her lords and ladies simply glancing at Loki before dismissing it and looking back to her, however one or two of them seemed to have their eyes glued to the Jotun who was stood before them. The crown prince of Asgard however seemed to have a particularly tight grip on his fabled hammer, with a slackened jaw and eyes wide. Of course he wasn’t aware that the Queen’s consort was Jotun, not even her court did till today.

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, feeling a light rub over hers with his thumb as a response. Smiling, she began to address the court as she usually did, talk of the guest and how he would be treated and so forth, whilst he still remained completely still, however his jaw was now screwed so tightly she was certain he had shattered a couple of teeth by the time she got to the reason of the visit.

“My lord, you are here because…?” Her words seemed to snap him out of his trance, and he turned to her, trying to formulate words, however only succeeding to looking amusingly like a fish out of water.

He closed his mouth and huffed, before attempting again.

“My lady, I have come in place of my father,” she felt Loki’s hand tighten a fraction around hers, “In order to discuss a delicate matter.” All through this, his eyes kept flitting to Loki, yet tried their best to address the queen.

Sigyn felt her spine straighten slightly more than it had already been, and her hand which was still in Loki’s visibly shifted, pulling him slightly closer to her. If anything, it looked as though she was ready to either bolt of beat the living crap out of the crown prince. Honestly, she felt as if she was about to do one of those things, and Sigyn never ran, not away anyway.

“And said ‘delicate’ matter is concerning what exactly.”

Her voice was almost as cold as the frost which had begun to spread at Loki’s feet, crawling slightly up the throne which she was situated on, yet not harming her in any way.

She sent a small jolt of calm to Loki, noticing instantly his entire frame relaxing more that it had been in the past two days. She knew as soon as she let go of his hand, a wave of fear, anxiety and gods know what else would hit her like a Chitauri battle ship. She was just thankful that Loki would rather lean into her touch as a result, than jolt away from it.

She could see Thor swallowing, trying to calm himself down enough to either confront or ask for something from the queen with the glare of a thousand fires, who was currently staring him down and daring him to mention anything of her consort. Of course, that was why he was there, and yet he wished with everything he had that it wasn’t his purpose of visit.

“My lady, it is of the matter of your…. consort.” He tried his best to dance around the subject and wanted nothing more to leave and tell his father to do such a meeting himself, yet he could see why Odin was apprehensive to return considering the way she was looking at him, daring him to step out of line. 

The consort itself, female, male, whatever it was, ice giant, was stood somewhat calmly at the side of her throne, its blue hand intertwined with the Queen’s in a casual manner, its red eyes surveying the crowd making them somewhat skittish. 

It seemed to continuously bring its gaze back to Thor, although considering that he was inquiring about said creature, he shouldn’t have been surprised. Its red gaze made his heart rate double every time it landed on him. He wasn’t exactly sure as to how such a beast had actually made its way to Vanaheim, considering they were barred from the Bifrost and he highly doubted they knew any magic.

Sigyn could see Thor shiver under Loki’s gaze, and found herself sporting an almost smug smile. 

“You see, the Allfather wished he returned to his planet of origin.” Before Sigyn could stop herself, she felt herself growl, grabbing the hilt of her dagger but not drawing it.

“And since when has that old fool had control or say in what I do with my people.” This was not the soft Sigyn Loki was used to, this one had poison dripping from her voice and fire coursing through her veins.

Thor flinched slightly, gripping his hammer in such a way that any normally made tool would have been shattered.

“My lady it’s not of your people-“

“IT! HE is not of YOURS! Your precious Allfather can neither claim him as a friend, or a citizen, so I regret to inform you that your trip was wasted sir.” She was practically spitting at this point, her rage not directed at the son which Odin had sent as canon fodder, but the ‘father’, who found it completely alright to simply ask for a person back, a person which he hurt. She had at one point stood, and whilst she was comparatively short to both Thor and Loki, she seemed far more threatening than the ice giant who’s hand she currently had her interlaced with.

Thor had his hammer ready, his arm extended ever so slightly forwards in case Sigyn decided to lunge. Little did he know that the only thing which was truly holding her back was the gentle grip which Loki had upon her hand, and the fact that if she let go, she would feel the full weight of Loki’s fear.

Loki gently tugged her towards him and brought her closer, whispering calming words in her ear as she simply fumed, glaring at the ground as if it had personally insulted her. Thor was astounded to see that when the creature took his hand, and placed it upon her shoulder, she seemed to relax into his touch. In any other occasion he would expect it as such, yet he also saw a lack of frost upon her body, and no such burns were littering her skin. 

She leaned into his chest, and saw her give a faint smile, presumably at some quip, before taking a deep breath in and walking back towards her throne, consort in tow. She brought him to stand next to her, before leaning upwards and whispering in his ear, earning her a nod, tight jaw’d as it was. Thor could have sworn that he saw the queen give him a small kiss on the cheek, though it was probably his imagination. Though he did see the giant blush, his skin going a shade of purple.

Sigyn turned back to Thor, seeming considerably more calm than she was before, and took in a breath before addressing the Asgardian prince.

“You may stay, if you wish, but either way you will leave empty handed.” She said, her voice still considerably cool towards him.

“And what do I tell the Allfather?” It was a simple question, and yet the smirk which followed it was chilling to the bone, almost dangerous. The glint in her eyes when she looked upon her consort and saw him nod once more made him even more apprehensive.

“Tell this to your king.” she paused, watching Thor carefully as she spoke, finally saying this:

“Loki remains.”


	17. I'm never going back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor tries to understand the fact that Loki is both alive and an ice giant, however due to the constance of his brother's trickery he is unsure what exactly to believe within the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO so anyway here have some trash *tosses chapter into the abyss*
> 
> Love you all, enjoy this little chappie!
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> not as long as the last one but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

There were many reactions which Sigyn was expecting. Immediate rage was one, confusion perhaps, or even to simply walk away. A short bark of humourless laugh was definitely not what Sigyn imagined to the news that Thor’s adoptive brother being revealed to be alive. His entire stature of fear had been removed, instead a look of almost disgust had replaced it. 

“Loki? Loki with skin as fair as the frost that your consort is spreading? I think not.” His tone was somewhat angry, insulted that his very brother would be compared to the beasts he was taught to fear as a child.

Sigyn and her consort, not Loki, stood side by side, still looking at him with completely blank expressions. If only he knew how badly the queen would be impacted when she removed her hand from Loki, and how much she was calming him through this whole ordeal.

Her fingers were tightly laced with the blue creatures, who’s eyes were bearing into him yet not in a threatening way, but an almost pleading way. If he looked carefully, he would have seen the same cheekbones which he used to tease as a child, and the small scar above Loki’s lip, where Thor played too rough and sent the poor boy crying to his mother, yet they both made up, Loki with one less tooth which thank gods was a child’s tooth, rather than an adult one.

Of course, all he could see was the light blue lines, contrasting a dark blue tone which stretched upon his skin. The red eyes kept distracting him, making him almost quake in his boots. 

“What do you have to gain from this?” He hissed, trying his best not to simply walk up to the queen and shake her from whatever sick malady had taken over her.

“Nothing, my lord.” She was still calm, somehow. Her entire body was relaxed, her beast stood by her side having quarrel with her words. In truth Thor was well aware that this declaration would have no benefit to the queen, and yet the comparison of his brother, his deceased brother, to an ice giant was clouding his judgement.

“Then why do you lie.” The giant shot Sigyn a worried look, only to receive a light squeeze of the hand in return.

“I do not.” Thor released another short, pained laugh.

“He is dead. Gone. And even if he weren’t, my brother is not one of those… those things.” His rage had begun to bubble to the top, and even though he had tried so hard to repress it, he found it refused to leave and tried to break through in any way possible. Clawing and climbing up his stomach and settling on his chest.

“I’m sorry good lady, but I find I am unable to stay.” He all but growled, turning on his heel and striding out, hammer in tow and heavy footed.

“THOR.” He froze, the hairs on the back of his arm and neck stood. He found that even though he felt he had to move forwards, he could not do so. Damn that voice was familiar. It wasn’t the queen’s voice, which seemed to be quite angry, but was rather that voice that enjoyed shocking him from around the corner as children, or whispered advice and ideas in his ear as an adult.

No way.

He slowly turned towards the giant, which was now walking towards him slowly with the queen in tow. Still connected by interlaced fingers.

“You have a scar on your left hip from where I stabbed you when we were 8,” Thor’s eyes widened, trying to comprehend what exactly was going on, “and another in your hair, behind your right ear, from when we fought in the ring and I managed to get the upper hand.” 

The creature had stopped a far enough distance away that if Thor decided he didn’t like the conversation and swung his hammer, the creature wouldn’t be hit immediately. 

“When we were younger, I played a joke on Sif, rendering her bald for a year, and had to go and buy her a wig.” They were both still, the only thing in motion was the creatures mouth, speaking in his brother’s voice.

Loki took another step forwards, only for Thor to take one backwards. He knew that without Sigyn’s reassuring hand and gentle reassurance he would probably not have spoken in the first place, and despite her abilities, every time Thor took a step backwards a little pain shot through his gut, and the knot in his stomach got a little tighter. Gods, Sigyn was going to feel the effects of this later for sure.

“You…” Thor couldn’t finish, trying his best to think of something to say to Loki. Loki however was simply ready to get shouted at.

“Is this some sort of a joke? An illusion?” Another pang shot through Loki’s gut. He couldn’t just accept things could he. He had to think it was false, a simple trick.

“And what purpose would such a trick serve?”

“I DON’T KNOW.” Loki flinched back as Thor took an angry step forwards, and as he did so Loki heard the telltale sign of Sigyn drawing her dagger, ready at any moment to use it. Despite being a sorcerer, he found that she rather preferred hand to hand combat, leaving her magic a secret until it was absolutely necessary. 

She was right by him, both of them hip to hip however whilst Loki was leaning backwards and glancing warily to the hammer which was still gripped tightly in Thor’s hand, Sigyn was slightly ahead with her dagger visibly at her side, a ferocious glare directed to the God of Thunder.

“It can’t be true.” He whispered, trying again to find some sort of an excuse, or other explanation other than I grew up with an ice giant. Of course, there was no other explanation, for Loki was exactly what he said he was, but Thor couldn’t seem to wrap his head around such a blatant truth.

He looked between Sigyn and Loki’s hands, and how no frost or burns seemed to be climbing up her skin. Of course it was an illusion, no one could withstand the burns of an angry ice giant.

“Why aren’t you hurt?” Sigyn crooked her head in confusion, before looking between their hands and a smile illuminated her face.

“He’s not upset.” She replied casually, shrugging her shoulders and shooting Loki a little smile of reassurance.

“And when he is?”

“Then I’ve cast a spell to keep her safe.” Loki was looking down upon Sigyn somewhat tenderly, red eyes more comforting than terrifying, at least to her they were. They both looked back to Thor, who’s features were still twisted in a mask of confusion.

“If you’re Loki, why didn’t you come home?” Loki tensed, his hand which was not holding Sigyn’s balling into a fist. Sigyn felt his hand which was connected with hers contract a fraction, and she instantly tried to reassure him more. Still, small tendrils of frost spread from his feet, barely making it out of his shadow.

Sigyn turned and looked him in the eyes, hoping to calm him if not by her magic, then simply by comfort. She brought her free hand around his back and pulled him closer to her, rubbing reassuring circles in his back with her thumb.

“You don’t have to tell him.” She whispered into his ear, just low enough that Thor would have heard none of what she said.

He nodded against her head, trying not to panic despite her soothing touch and calming aurae, and leaned into her touch, finding that he needed to be closer to her in any way possible. Thor all the while was watching the frost on the floor spread slowly, seeking out someone to touch, and yet it seemed to completely avoid Sigyn who was currently the closest person to him out of everyone in the court.

“I’m not going back.” Loki said, drawing Thor’s attention back to the pair, who were still somewhat within their embrace.

“I’m never going back.”


	18. And for that, Loki loved her.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has to let go of Sigyn's hand at one point, and whilst he knows this, he is afraid for how she would react to the emotions which he felt when being confronted by his brutish brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HaVe AlMoSt 2o0 nOtEs?!?!?! the fuck?
> 
> anyway here have some trash *chucks*
> 
> btw this is a non smut moment but it is implied that they do the *clears throat* hankie pankie BUT THERE IS NO SMUT NONE NOPE NADA (seriously there is none so no need to skip this chapter n stuff)
> 
> Love y'all!
> 
> Sophie xxx

As much as Sigyn wanted to stay in the throne room and iron out all of Thor’s preconcieved prejudices, she felt that she’d rather lay in bed and let the god figure things out for himself. Loki had become increasingly emotional through the whole ordeal, with the ice that spread around them being the giveaway, and despite having Sigyn’s calming hand intertwined with his, he still had felt panic rise through his throat. Gods he dreaded letting go of her hand, not for him, but for the effect it would have on her.

As soon as he felt her begining to calm him, he had wanted nothing more than to pull away for her sake, and yet as she had said, his body wanted nothing more than to hold her till Ragnarok. And so his hand remained, and the more he held, the more he feared for her when he let go.

So when she finally excused herself, leaving the god of thunder fuming and confused, he dutifully followed until they got to their room. When the doors shut he engulfed her into a cold embrace, wrapping his arms around her neck and bringing her as close to him as he possibly could.

His cheek was rested gently on her forehead, whilst her arms wrapped around his back and accepted the gesture. She sighed into his chest, simply enjoying the cool radiating off his body after such a heated argument.

She didn’t want to let go, but she knew that at one point it would all come crashing down on her, all of Loki’s emotions, and it was always better to get something over with quickly.

“Loki?”

He hummed in response.

“Loki, you need to let go now.” He froze. Of course he knew exactly what would happen to her, he knew exactly how bad the reaction would be. And knowing such things, seeing how badly they affected him despite her touch, he was terrified of what it would do to Sigyn.

He shook his head and buried it deeper into her shoulder, desperate not to let her hurt in any way.

“Loki, the longer you hold me the more intense the after effect is going to be.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her, carrying her to the bed and setting her down gently, without taking his hand off of hers. All the while she simply accepted his action, rather than fight against it. Loki then laid beside her and curled his body around her, almost refusing to accept that she truly had to let go at some point.

“Loki.” He buried his head in her shoulder, wanting nothing more to simply lay there forever, rather than let her feel his emotions.

Sigyn slowly untangled the pair of arms around her waist, before sitting up, Loki’s hand still on hers, and sliding genlty off the bed. She looked at him, still curled in the same position but refusing to meet her eyes. 

“Loki I have to let go eventually.” Though tight jawed, he nodded in acknowledgment. 

“I’m sorry.” She smiled, quickly leaning in and giving him a chaste kiss before pulling back, only holding him by the fingertips.

“Love, it’s not a crime to feel.” She said, letting her fingers slip a little more. eventually, their fingers were barely touching at all, with nothing but a couple of cells desperately clinging to each other and trying to keep Sigyn from feeling what she was about to feel. Loki wished he could have simply stayed in bed that day rather than have her comfort, but oh well, wishing didn’t exactly help now.

Her fingers left his.

For a moment they both froze, Loki unsure if it had hit her yet or she was simply paralyzed, and Sigyn waiting with bated breath for the wave which would hit her with full force. Knowing her, it would probably last an hour at most before the effects wore off.

Sigyn felt tears begin to pool in her eyes, despite not truly feeling anything yet, and saw Loki sit up slightly, trying to anticipate whatever might happen as soon as the emotions hit. 

Instantly, a wave of nausea consumed her, climbing up her throat and desperate to escape as quickly as possible, coupled with an increasing pain on her chest making it harder and harder to breath. Loki watched as she doubled over, seeking a handhold on the side of the bed, and rushed over to her. 

When he finally got to her, he could see the panic setting in, gripping her throat and choking her. The tears had began to fall, and when he wrapped his arms around her waist he felt her choke back a sob which threatened to break loose. Loki pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his hand around her front and letting her head fall on his shoulder as she cried, just as she had done before with him. He felt her back shaking agains his chest, small cries escaping her lips as every negative emotion he had felt in that throne room, every pain and anguish flooded her.

He gave her a gentle kiss to her temple, before moving to her cheek where tears still slid down, and wiped them away before they hit her collar bone. She leaned her head further back into his shoulder, her hair spilling down his back and leaving it completely off her face. She was looking up at the ceiling with a blank stare, as the tears still fell heavily. 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, leaning towards her ear and resting the side of his forehead on hers. She couldn’t reply, her throat blocked by the onslaught of emotions which were washing over her like a tsunami.

She felt his hand intertwine again with hers, giving her a grounding mechanism so that she could distinguish what was real and what was not. Thank gods that simple touch didn’t effect her, and that it seemed to only be when she willed calm, because if so this would be a daily occurence. 

She twisted her body so that she could have her chest facing Loki’s, making it easier for her to bury her head in his shoulder. She clung to his robes, trying her hardest not to sob into his shoulder and instead simply let the tears flow without a word. 

His arms brought her closer, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist and cling to him as if he were her lifeline. Sigyn felt herself wrap her arms around his neck, and bring Loki ever closer. All through this, he began to hum. Sigyn vaguely reccognised the song, being one that her mother would sing to her when she was restless, Gjendines Bånsull perhaps?

After the 5th time of him gently repeating the lyrics, she felt her heart rate start to slow. eventually, the tears began to dry up, her tear ducts having nothing left to give, and the choking grip on her throat finally letting go, and her stomach no longer facing the horrible turmoil which had made her feel completely sickly. Eventually, she eased into Loki’s touch and smiled into his shoulder.

He placed a delicate kiss on her temple, hoping that it was over finally.

She let out a breath, her entire body relaxing after the onslaught which she had just gone through. The hands which had been previously gripping his robe for dear life were rested lazily against his neck, however his arms were still wrapped firmly around her waist, making sure that she didn’t fall back of collapse.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” He whispered into her hair as she lay almost deathly still. She nodded into his shoulder, trying not to let herself think of the emotions which had previously consumed her and how they constantly inhabited Loki. However trying not to think of something, and not thinking of something are two very different things.

“So long as I don’t think you need it.” Loki sighed.

Sigyn brough herself from out of his shoulder, bringing her hands to the side of his cheeks and looking him in the eyes, searching for anything past his regret for the pain he had caused her.

“How do you live with such a burden?” His eyes cast themselves downwards, trying to avoid her prying gaze.

“Loki. This isn’t alright.” Again, he didn’t answer and avoided her eyes.

She gently lifted his head, trying her best to get his gaze to meet her, and as she did she saw all of the anger, pain and fear which had previously gripped her, but rather than it being due to Thor, Sigyn had the sinking feeling that it had something to do with her, rather than their impassive houseguest.

Rather than answer, he simply remained silent and let her look at him, trying not to disturb the quiet room which just minuted ago had been filled with Sigyn’s sobs. Sobs which he had caused.

“You can tell me things you know, I’m not just a Queen, I hope.” He gave her a half hearted smile before closing his eyes, his entire face morphing into one of fear and expectancy. He leaned forwards so his forehead was resting gently against Sigyn’s, the cold radiating from him being more soothing rather than chilling as most would think.

“I love you.” The words left his lips like a prayer, a secret and a sin, washing over Sigyn with an intensity more powerful than the pain she had just felt. Her heart rate doubled and she found it hard to breathe. Of course, this was all in a good way and not in an I’m-about-to-have-a-panic-attack way. She stayed silent and let him continue.

“I’ve lived and loved many, except all whom I’ve loved have left in one way or another, so I’ve learnt how to keep things bottled up.”

He opened his eyes, suprised to see a face of awe and affection rather than disgust and fear.

“But you’ve stopped that. I can’t really hide something from someone who dissolves illusions can I?” She was still looking at him, trying not to look too elated that he had just expressed his love for Sigyn, but also not to look too down about the fact that that he’d lost a great many people, for fear that it would seem like she wasn’t happy about his confession of love. Damn feelings were hard to deal with.

Instead she leaned in and brought her lips to his, allowing him to take the lead should he want to stop, instead he leaned into the kiss, instantly capturing her lips in his. He pushed towards her, trapping her against the edge of the bed and against his chest, as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slipped between her lips, allowing himself to savour the moment and taste the salt left over from the tears that fell earlier.

He found himself placing his hands on her hips, drawing them closer to his and earning him a moan from Sigyn, who had wrapped her arms around his neck and was gripping his tunic tightly. Loki felt her slip her tongue against his, trying to get him just that little bit more daring. The smile she felt upon her lips and the tightened grip on her hips was the exact reaction she was looking for.

“Bed.” 

He acknowledged her by gripping her thighs and hoisting her upon the matress, watching her lay there, completely breathless and swolen lipped. Her hair was splayed out in every direction possible and her eyes were alight with fire. 

He lunged, attacking her neck with an onslaught of sucks and bites, every nip extracting another groan from between those beautiful lips. Eventually he made his way back up to said lips, after being satisfied with the barrage of purple marks which would most evidently be on display for when they saw Thor tomorrow, and nothing made him happier than watching the gods jaw fall to the floor. 

Loki kissed Sigyn with a hunger and a passion like no other, letting himself go for once and enjoying the feeling of the moment, rather than worrying about the future. He pulled away, looking between her eyes for some sort of hesitance or wish for him to stop, and yet all he saw was the fire which he had grown to love.

“I love you too.” She whispered. This was not a secret, not a prayer, nor a confession. It was a fact that she was asserting, a statement which would not and could not be revoked.

And for that, Loki loved her.


	19. Myrkr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Sigyn wake up after a night of passion and recollect their evening encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full disclosure: NO EXPLICIT SMUT, one mention of fingering but thats literally it
> 
> anyway next chapter is going to be far more interesting, but anyway here's this one tonight
> 
> Love you all! (199 KUDO'S TF WHAT)
> 
> sophie xx

When Sigyn awoke, the first thing she felt was a small rush of joy, as the events of the night before rushed back to her in perfect clarity, eliciting a satisfied smile to light up her face. Of course, she had been in dalliances in the past, calling girls and boys to her room for a night of fun, but never had she been physically in love with her lover, and never had she felt such affection towards someone sharing her bed in such a way. And never had she leant further into the naked body beside her, who’s arm was tightly wound around her torso.

She heard a small groan just behind her, as Loki buried his head in her shoulder and gave it a little nip as a greeting. Whilst her neck was scattered with blue and purple marks from where he had his wicked way with her, and possibly her stomach, legs and breasts too, Loki’s neck was covered with pink and orange marks, standing out clearly from the blue of his skin.

His hand began tracing gentle patterns on her abdomen, pulling her a little closer to him so he could feel Sigyn’s comforting body heat, contrasting his cool.

“Your brother’s going to kill me.” He gave a small chuckle, and kissed just below her jawline.

“I wouldn’t let that happen love.” He said, shifting so he was rested slightly above her, staring down upon the naked beauty which had shared herself with him just the night prior.

He leand down and captured his lips in hers, feeling Sigyn respond instantly by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him atop her. Loki began to kiss her jawline, peppering them with little butterfly kisses, and was about to move to her neck, her pulse in sight, when a knock on the door drew them from their little world. Loki sighed and flopped to the side of her.

“Who is it?” 

“The god of thunder and the Asgardian army, who do you think?” Amora replied sarcastically, letting satire drip from every syllable.

“Well tell him to bugger off I’m busy.” Sigyn said, turning towards Loki and giving him a sly smile which he returned in kin.

“No can do, he has breakfast.” Sigyn gave an excited gasp, sitting up and almost sprinting to the door before being pulled back under the covers by Loki.

“Love, you are still no less naked.” He whispered, wrapping his arms back around her waist. Sigyn just rolled her eyes and made a hand gesture to the door, which promptly unlocked. 

Amora walked in, carefully balancing two trays full of food with goblets of juice on them. She made her way towards the table at the end of the bed, placing them gently down. Of course the bed was still concealed by the curtains which had been replaced since Loki’s last panic attack. 

They heard the rustling behind the silk sheets, as Amora fussed with this and that, trying to get the trays balancing properly on the small table so that they wouldn’t fall, before the curtains started to shuffle to the side. slowly, a beam of light illuminated the relative dark they had been sitting in, Amora casting a long shaddow on the pair still lazily lounging on the bed.

She finished pulling away the curtains and cast them a glance, before simulating a vomiting sound and dramatically lurching to the side, sheilding her eyes from the view of the two of them entangled beneath the blankets. 

“Oh come on Amora we’re just hugging.” Another fake wretch. Dear gods she loved her dramatics didn’t she. 

“With all due respect, I was hoping to not see any breasts this morning.” Sigyn giggled and snuggled further into Loki, who was watching the whole scene with a somewhat amused smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

“They are quite lovely.” Sigyn heard Loki whisper, bringing his head into her shoulder and relaxing there.

“I know.” Sigyn replied, earning her a little nip on the shoulder making her yelp.

“If you’re making love I’m going to kill you.” Sigyn snorted.

“Amora you literally bathe me.” Sigyn replied, almost feeling the eye roll that Amora was giving her. 

Amora gave an audible huff and walked back around to the table, gesturing to the food and raising an eyebrow at the pair of lovers. Sigyn watched her lazily as Amora brought one of the trays towards her, then leant over to put a similar one on Loki’s lap. Sigyn gave her a grin and Amora made an obscene gesture as she marched towards the doors, trying to leave the pair to do whatever they wanted to do in the privacy of their own room.

The both sat up and dug into the feast on their laps, trying their hardest not to scarf down the meal in one go considering they both missed dinner after Sigyn’s little meltdown, as well as *ahem* physical exhaustion from certain activities.

eventually, when their hunger had been satisfied and their thirst quenched, they crawled out of bed, standing completely naked in the room and hoping to gods that Amora didn’t chose to walk in at that moment. Not for Sigyn, whom she had seen nude many times before, but for the well named frost giant currently stretching.

Sigyn admired her handiwork, noticing that he had small bite marks on his collar bone and around his groin, standing out quite beautifully due to the colour difference. Loki saw her grinning slyly at him, and looked down to be greeted by some orange and pink bite marks standing out on his skin.

He looked up at her with a quirked eyebrow and a small smile on his face. He could clearly see the purple bite mark he had left Sigyn with on her inner thigh, and several across her back, but the best one’s were on her neck. Of course, this definitely wasn’t because Thor was going to see the queen of Vanaheim marked by an ice giant and vice versa, certainly not.

Sigyn strolled towards the wardrobe and grabbed a couple of robes, one of them matching her bruises and one of them matching Loki’s, just to drive Thor that bit more into his rage. Perhaps it was pettiness, perhaps it was a long lasting effect from Loki’s emotions, either way she felt completely in need to frustrate the god of thunder as much as she possibly could.

In silence they dressed, eyes roaming one anothers bodies and wearing fond smiles whilst recalling exactly what those bodies had been doing the night before. Every time Loki looked into Sigyn’s eyes he could remember her breathless, flushed and looking up at him with fire glowing in them. He could remember how they had flitted shut when he crooked his fingers and how her lips had parted for her to moan.

Sigyn saw the shiver run up his spine, and smiled slightly when she saw him looking directly at her. 

Eventually, when both had been suitably dressed and fussed over by Amora, they made their way to the main hall, where Lord Balinire was stood with a stern look upon his face. He had his arms crossed and by the way his body stiffened when he noticed the maks adorning the pair’s body, he wasn’t too happy about the coupling which had taken place in the prior evening.

He greeted them with a simple nod and a clenched jaw, before diving right into business and not even bothering with the usual small talk that he was usually so fond of. 

“Do you have any Idea what you’ve done?” Sigyn snickered slightly, trying her best to keep somewhat composed. 

“Thor’s positively livid, as soon as you left he began screaming something about lies and illusions and then went to his room and we haven’t seen him since.” The smile on Sigyn’s face dropped slightly, hearing the negatice way in which Loki’s brother reacted to his truth. She sighed and brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose, rubbing tp relieve the pressure there.

 

“Well, is said God going to leave his room any time soon?” Balinire just shook his head.

Sigyn gave him a smile and pushed past him, bringing Loki with her, and began to walk down the palace steps towards the courtyard where the stables were situated.

“And where exactly are you going, My Lady?” Sigyn turned to Balinire and shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. 

“Into town, trying to avoid a god when in the same palace as it can be tedious.”

She kept walking, pulling Loki behind her. He was still gripping her hand as she dragged him down the stairs giddily. As they reached the bottom she pulled him towards the stables, where horses were whinning behind the doors. Sigyn brought him to the front of one of the doors, where the sounds of angry hooves were striking against the floor. Sigyn gave a sly smile to Loki, who was slightly nervous from the sound of the angry horse behind the door. 

They both walked to the door, Sigyn faster than Loki, and when she finally flung the doors open it revealed her steed. A pitch black stallion with a mane darker than midnight and eyes. Its wild eyes reflected the same fire which posessed Sigyn’s when a rage overtook her and his overall pacing attitude was enough to make the ice giant behind her more skittish than the horse when it laid eyes on Loki.

She walked up to it, holding out her palm for him to greet her, and had it nudge against her hand. The horse seemed to calm, but not for Sigyn’s powers, but simply for a familliar in the way they were. Both with what seemed to be raging fires burning deep within them.

“This is Myrkr.” She whispered, stroking him with a gentile touch.

“You named your black horse darkness?” Sigyn dismissed him and kept caressing the horse, looking deep into his eyes and seeing hers reflected back to her.

“I named him when I was but 200, it sounds a simple name but I was very proud of it, and him.” Loki gave her a soft smile, but still did not advance towards the horse.

“Oh Loki come on, you’ve faced down impossible threats, and after all, Myrkr is nothing but a sweetheart.” Myrkr whinnied in response.

“Darling, that horse looks at me the way you look at Thor, I won’t take my chances touching it.” He said. Sigyn smirked, a knife’s smile which seemed to cut through her face in what would look painful to anyone else, and yet on her such a smile could command armies and make enemies weep. Of course, right now it was making Loki slightly nervous.

“Touch Myrkr? My love, we’re riding him.”


	20. There goes peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn and Loki make their way into town, simply to escape the palace, and hopefully Thor, for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here have a chapter *throws* YEET
> 
> love you all, glad that you're still reading (and hopefully enjoying)
> 
> Love you!
> 
> Sophie xx

Even getting Loki near the horse in the first place took a while, and then to convince him to ride her beloved darkness bareback? Well that took even longer.

Sigyn would never admit it, but having Loki’s arms wrapped around her waist as she rode bareback on Myrkr through the forest path to her town, both wind and leaves winding in her hair, was the most comforting yet exhilarating thing she had ever done. Myrkr rode almost faster than the beams of light which were raining down of their faces and warming their bodies, faster than the breeze which was rustling the trees and faster than she could draw breath. But not faster than her cries of joy every time the steed jumped over an obstacle. 

Every little branch that brushed past her face and made her realise how long it had been since she’s gone to town was a comfort, every leaf which floated past was a familiarity. Loki with his arms wrapped around her could feel every muscle in her body both relaxed and completely tense, if such a thing was possible, as she screamed for joy when Myrkr bounded over a particularly large log. 

By the time they made it to the settlement, Sigyn had leaves and twigs tangled in her now loose hair, the red curls flying everywhere and truly giving her the appearance of the ‘savages in the north’ which the romans had learnt to fear. Sigyn was smiling like a mad woman, giddy and missing the way the wind had whipped her cheeks red and her robe a-mock. The townsfolk were used to this wild queen, it was the one who greeted them every time she visited, and so rather than sit back and tut, they gave her a warm greeting and a smile or two.

Some even gave Loki a quick nod of greeting, and one a handshake, something which would never be received in Asgard. Their traditional greeting to an ice giant was a goodbye and a punch to the face. 

They padded through the street, well more like dirt road. Of course it wasn’t as luxurious as Asgard and of course it wasn’t as stately and large, but every house was its own. Each had a different set of flowers, saplings or bushes surrounding it, some were bare. But none of them were lifeless. Little girls and boys were playing on the steps, fellow neighbours greeted each other in a kind manner, some of them stopping to converse, and this was just the outskirts and yet the entire place was teeming with life.

As they saw the queen pass, none bowed or said ‘my queen,’ no one went quiet and no one shrunk away, in fact most came up to Myrkr and petted him as if they had known him their entire lives, and a little girl with her hands tucked behind her back stopped him dead in his tracks, before removing her hands and revealing an apple for the steed.

As this happened, Sigyn dismounted and landed on the floor in an unceremonial ‘oomph,’ a smile still gracing her features, before turning her hand towards Loki’s and holding it to give him balance to leave the horses back. Loki turned back to the horse and gave him a pet, however the horse seemed too interested in the apples he was being offered by children to take any notice, so Loki followed Sigyn rather than being left sentimental by Myrkr.

As they got closer to the centre, Sigyn got stopped by more people, people who wanted to engage in a friendly chat and thank her for whatever she did the other day to help with the wheat, or for how she had sent more wood, or this improvement or that improvement. And yet for every person that came to thank her, none of them she did not know by name.

As each person came, she called out to them happily and embraced them in a hug, or shook their hand firmly, or for a little boy who came to her with a flower, a kiss on the cheek, and engaged with their banterous chats for about a minute at a time, and yet such a short period was still so intimate between the two people. Loki found himself admiring the way she would make sure to listen to every complaint, even if it wasn’t meant to be such. One woman was talking of the cold winter last year and joked about how she had to go out in the snow to hunt, freezing cold, because supplies hadn’t arrived to market, and yet as she laughed along with the woman, Loki could see her documenting and remembering every little thing which she could improve upon.

Sigyn turned back to Loki, who was standing, watching her interact with her people with a fond smile gracing his face, and gestured to him to come closer. Loki obliged and began to stroll towards her, before he found that his path was interrupted by a little shape which was standing right in front of him.

“Hello mister sir.” She said, looking up at him completely unintimidated.

Loki kneeled down in front of her and gave her a little smile, revealing white teeth beneath dark blue lips.

“Hello little one.” She giggled and got closer to him, holding out a hand towards his forehead with one finger extended.

“Why do you have horns?” Loki sat up straighter, confusion masking his features, before reaching up and poking the area of his forehead where the little girl was pointing, to feel two sharp oscines, feeling a little like bone, poking slightly through the skin and only barely making their presence known.

Loki let his hands drop and turned back to the girl.

“Well you see little one, I’ve only just realised I had them, so I’m not quite sure.” The girl nodded seriously, pursing her lips and letting her eyebrows furrow.

“Well, Korpr said they look cool and he wanted me to tell you.” She said, before turning on her heels and running back to a little boy, Korpr, Loki assumed, and whispering in his ear about the previous conversation. Korpr looked at Loki with wide eyes, and when Loki waved, he blushed and almost hid himself behind his friend.

Loki chuckled and made his way to Sigyn, whom whilst he had been talking to the little girl, had anew found someone to converse with about the quality of thatched roves and if wood was more beneficial in comparison. When the conversation finally ended, he brought himself to her side and laced his hand with hers.

“You’re good with children.” Sigyn said nonchalantly, giving him a little smile.

“Don’t you get started, you sound like my mother.” Sigyn laughed and tugged on his hand, Pulling him towards the town centre.

“Perhaps, either way it seems that the children are fond of you, I’ve had several come up to me and ask of you.” She said, still smiling, still pulling him along. 

She tugged him to the town centre, where a fountain carved of stone was rested, water coming from the intricately carved women whom were standing tall and watching the town with their cool eyes. Two were stood back to back, holding each others hands. One had a mane of messy hair which seemed to come alive from the stone, a smile gracing her face almost effortlessly, whilst the other had her hair cascading down her front and her smile was more guarded, more slight, however their interlaced fingers seemed to grip each other as tightly as Sigyn would grip his. He swore he had seen those smile’s on her face, perhaps in just a moment, but still they were there. If he looked closely enough, Loki could see Sigyn’s cheekbones, her eyes, her everything from these two women standing guard in the town centre. They were her in a way.

Loki gasped and turned to her, awe written across his face.

“Your mothers?” Sigyn nodded, still looking at the statues in silence.

Loki looked back up, trying to imagine them in life, trying his hardest to perhaps see them with their daughter, a younger, less controlled Sigyn, but found that all he could see were the two stone women before him.

“I never met her,” Sigyn gestured to the woman with the wide smile and curly hair, “In fact, the first time I ever saw her likeness was here. In the town centre.”

He could tell it still hurt. No matter how many times someone could say that they had gotten over it, even if it was as she was borne, not knowing what could have been was one of the deepest wounds of all. Loki knew this because he thought of it too. How his circumstances could have been so different if not for Odin and his greed. He could have had a loving father, ice giant or not, and perhaps Frigga, though he wouldn’t have known her, would still be alive.

He knew how Sigyn thought of what might have been, from the small things like the way she walked, or talked, or acted, and perhaps even her control and use of her magic, to how both mothers being alive may have elongated her time with the both of them. He knew how she would have wished for someone to hold late at night, and the revelation being devastating to her. But what must have been the sharpest blow on the queen would have been that her mother had died delivering her. That she could have, even for a moment, been closer to her, and yet she had nothing but stone. Stone which could not hold you, or whisper kind things when you were feeling down, or smile at you without it being carved and falsely placed. 

Loki wrapped his arm around her waist and planted a gentle kiss upon her temple. Instead of leaning away, Sigyn rested against his side and left both of them in silent contemplation.

Such contemplation, however, was interrupted by a small shape of a little boy that Loki recognised as the child who had hidden himself behind his friend when Loki had said hello, Korpr he thought.

The boy tugged on Loki’s robes, trying to get his attention, and so Loki knelt in front of him, his red eyes flicking between the child’s brown pair. 

“Hello mr Blàr.” The boy said, causing a smile to tug at Loki’s mouth. In the same way Sigyn had named her horse after the darkness, Loki had been named, quite literally, ‘blue.’

“Hello little raven.” Korpr giggled and blushed, casting his eyes downwards. Korpr shuffled his feet and the rouge on his cheeks kept spreading.

“Can you do something for me?” Loki nodded, looking expectantly towards the boy.

Korpr brought out a small flower, possibly from a nearby garden or field, and held it delicately within his small hands, trying his hardest not to damage it. He leaned towards Loki and whispered something in his ear, something which made Loki’s smile double and made his eyes crinkle. Finally, when Korpr had finished explaining what he wanted, he held the flower out to Loki who took it carefully in his hands and covered it with every finger. They both waited a moment, Korpr trying to catch a look between Loki’s fingers and Loki looking down upon him with a fond look. Eventually, when Loki was satisfied, he opened his hand to reveal the flower, however ice had formed around it and was spreading up the petals, in such a way that it gave the flower a pattern. Korpr giggled with glee and was jumping up and down, ecstatic that the flower had changed in such a small yet such a beautiful way.

Loki gently handed the flower back to Korpr, who jumped up and gave Loki a quick kiss on the cheek in thanks then ran off back to his friend, who was watching from the steps of the house in disinterest. When Korpr got to the steps and opened his hands to reveal the flower, the little girl gasped and looked up at Loki, who gave her a wave, before standing back up. 

He turned to face Sigyn once more, who was watching him smugly. Of course she was, she had just watched him interact peacefully with children, and use his own abilities safely around them. He felt comfortable in his own skin, enough so to use it, and she had every right to be smug about it.

“Oh stop it you.” He tutted, only receiving a laugh from her and her hand wrapping around his waist.

“I think you handled him wonderfully.” The pair of them froze, recognising that voice in an instant and feeling their blood cool in their veins. Loki more so than usual of course.

They turned to face the god of thunder, who was currently standing right behind them casually, no hammer, no sword, not even real armour, more civilian attire than anything. His hair was tied up with a piece of rope. His eyes were trained on his brother. Careful, but not cruel as they had been before.

“Considering the only way that I’ve seen an ice giant handle anyone is with a stab to the heart, it was a pleasant surprise.” Loki was still stood completely still, not exactly sure how to deal with the current situation he was dealing with. Was his brother… complimenting him? And not just him in general, but his race and how he dealt with a child knowing that? Overall he was completely lost.

Thor cleared his throat and began to kick around a small rock with his foot, trying to dissipate the awkward atmosphere which had settled on them like a thick winter’s snow.

“So you’re… you’re ok with this?” Loki said, gesturing vaguely towards himself, Sigyn still having an arm wrapped somewhat protectively around his waist.

“It took a while for me to, well to understand, but yes.” Loki’s face broke out into a grin and he ran to his brother, embracing him in a tight, somewhat chilly hug. Thor, rather than flinching away, simply embraced his previously thought to be dead brother, finally finding some element of peace through the events of the past few years.

Sigyn was sat on the fountain, watching the two embrace with a fond smile on her face. If some peace between the two could be made within this situation then all would be well for the time being.

“Father will be so pleased to hear this.” Thor said, still holding Loki.

Welp, there goes peace.


	21. Easily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki runs of leaving a bewildered Thor, but of course Sigyn follows him and finds him in the middle of a clearing unable to handle his emotions. Sigyn, being Sigyn, wants to understand why Loki is in such distress over the mention of Odin, and so she asks Loki to show her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
> 
> This chapter has some graphic descriptions of torture so if you're not good with that, or if its a trigger then PLEASE DO NOT READ THE CHAPTER
> 
> I love you all and hope you're ok with this chapter,
> 
> Love you
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> (I hit 200 notes a chapter ago what the FUCK)

Sigyn could pinpoint the exact moment everything went wrong from there. She remembered clearly how Loki had instantly reacted negatively to that word, how he had instantly pushed away from a confused Thor and how he had turned away, as quickly as he possibly could. She remembered how he had gone for the forest; minimal casualties. Of course Sigyn had chased after him, and it had been extremely easy due to the trail of ice which was following him, spreading from where he stepped. However she found he ran much faster than her, simply for longer legs and practise she guessed, so actually catching up to him was to be more of a feat than calming her Sigyn guessed.

As she kept running deeper and deeper into the forest, where light would usually become somewhat scarce, she found that the unnatural glow emanating from the ice was lighting her way through the relative darkness which was trying to envelop her.

When she finally caught up to him, Sigyn saw Loki pacing within a clearing, his fists clenched dangerously and his eyes screwed shut, trying to gain control of the frost which had made its way to the edge and was beginning to climb up trees. His jaw was clenched dangerously tight, making his breaths come out a lot harsher than intended.

“Loki?” He froze, but did not relax and did not open his eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t talk to him not when he doesn’t know.” He was practically growling. She knew that it was because of him being triggered, him being afraid, but should Thor walk in it simply would look as if his brother was furious at him.

“Then tell him.” Sigyn said.

“I CAN’T!” Loki had exploded, frost climbing the trees at double time and killing them instantly, finding ways to branch out to others and eventually leave a circle of death around them. Thank god for that spell or Sigyn would be a part of said perished circle.

“How do it tell my brother, someone who was raised by the same person as me that the saint of a father he loves so much is a disgusting, violent man?” Tears had begun to build in his eyes, welling dangerously and threatening to fall.

“If someone told you your mother, a person you loved and believed in, had tortured them till they couldn’t scream for their throat was so raw and bloodied,” Sigyn took a step back, somewhat surprised by the revelation, “Till your skin on your back was practically hanging off, every part of you wanting to die than have to deal with the alternative.” 

He was shouting, almost every tree shaking with the rage that he felt towards a man he had once trusted and how it had ruined him. Of course Thanos had bashed him up plenty, but Odin? Someone who he had previously looked up to? That was too much. That was Loki Laufeyson’s breaking point.

Sigyn took a step forwards, making intention to comfort him, however she was waved off by Loki who had begun to stride around his dead clearing.

“All I create is death, not just for myself but for other too!” He laughed hysterically, humourlessly and dangerously. This wasn’t a man who had been hurt, but one who had been pushed to the edge and pushed over several thousand times. 

“I invaded a planet, I couldn’t stop myself, it wasn’t me and yet still every death was at my hand, then my mother who was stabbed by a creature who I aided and YOU,” He strode up to Sigyn, a pained smile painted broadly upon his face, giving him a maniacal look, “Even when trying to help me it hurts, oh how you pain to calm me.” 

Another laugh followed this, only this time Loki collapsed in front of Sigyn, the tears finally falling upon her feet and resting there, cold rather than warm. 

Sigyn kneeled and made to take his head in her hands, only to have him flinch backwards, trying to escape her calm simply because of the effect that it would have on her later, and how he hated hearing her scream, hated watching her cry and beg for it to stop.

“No, not again.” He kept shuffling away, till his back caught a tree.

“Sigyn, look at the trees, tell me you want to feel what I’m feeling right now.” Sigyn looked around, feeling a sense of dread as she saw splinters of what seemed to be glass, but rather was ice encased wood sharper than a knife. Felt fear when she saw leaves that had been frozen and had fallen to the ground because of the added weight and shattered.

Still, she stood and walked slowly towards him, determined not to simply sit and watch as he broke down.

She sat next to him, the cold of his skin leaving hers to feel as if needles were beneath it, and yet it still did not harm her in any way, simply made her feel colder than usual.

“I did not chase after you into the depths of a forest simply to watch you fall apart.” A groan made its way past his lips, frustrated and somewhat angry.

“Why can’t you just run away like everyone else?” Sigyn sighed and shrugged, knowing that any sort of argument on her part would be shut down due to his current mindset.

“Love, I suppose.” Loki snorted beside her and his shoulders shook. From laughter or sobs Sigyn couldn’t be sure.

“Love? Love doesn’t save you. Many people claim love and then revoke it as quickly as they gave it.” His voice was shaking and angry, perhaps towards himself, perhaps towards those whom had hurt him, but he was most definitely not laughing.

Sigyn turned towards him, the fire once again lit as she forced him to face her and stare within her rage filled eyes. Not rage directed at him, but rage at his pain, at his injuries and the cause of his mistrust. Something she hoped to get past at some point.

“Yes Loki, people leave, people die but that does not make love any less real. If Odin ever claimed to love you then such a claim was false and I am sorry you had to endure that however,” she was trying her hardest not to be too passionate, knowing it could perhaps frighten, “love is real, love is binding and I swear to every moon, star and sky in this universe that I will not revoke this.”

Loki stared at her, unsure if he was fearful or completely head over heels.

“So screw Odin, screw Thor if necessary, forget that. At the moment we are two people who have lost, and two people in love, in the middle of a forest. Is that enough?” She was panting, rage still clearly during deep inside her, lighting her eyes with something that could instil dread in even the strongest, most fearless on men, and yet for Loki all he felt was a smile upon his face, as he looked up at the woman who was determined to make him feel whole.

“Alright.” He whispered gently, seeing the rage in her dim immediately. However present, it had been dulled for the time being, though he was sure it would resurface soon enough.

She sighed and relaxed, kneeling in front of him and letting him catch compose his thoughts after such exclamations. Loki simply sat, admiring the woman in front of him. The one who for some reason endured him and calmed him to her own deficits, and to her own destruction, and yet through everything she persevered.

He leaned back against the tree, relaxing slightly and allowing himself a moment to think of how Thor must have reacted to his brother whom had embraced him, running off into the forest followed by his lover. A strange sight indeed.

He turned his attention back to Sigyn, who was watching the frost slowly recede from the now dead trunks which surrounded them, and hw it seemed to try and return to whom had created it, and yet it was simply melting. The sheer change in attitude, from fiercely defensive to docile was something both beautiful and terrifying. She was unpredictable like the storm, perhaps it would rain, perhaps it would blow, perhaps it would simply pass by, but sometimes, very rarely, it turned to a hurricane and destroyed everything in its path. He could see that in her, from when she destroyed her mannequins with glass in her foot, bleeding, to when she faced down the King of Asgard simply to defend a man she didn’t know: Loki.

He leant towards her, opening his arms slightly and inviting her towards him. Slowly she complied, leaning her back against his chest as they both watched the frost recede from the trees. 

“Should I tell you?” Sigyn sighed and leaned further into him, allowing herself to relax.

“If you feel you should.” She said, waiting for his response. 

“I don’t think I could.” He breathed, bringing her closer.

Sigyn leaned back, turning her head towards him to look into his red eyes, which had glossed over.

“What if you showed me?” Loki tensed and his jaw went back to the clenched silence it had instilled earlier.

“You’re an empath, do you really want to go through that?” Sigyn nodded in reply and Loki shook his head slightly, wondering why exactly someone would willingly endure what he had, simply to understand.

“No way.” She turned to him and looked up curiously, trying to avoid her eye. “I already went through that, no one else should be forced to.” 

Sigyn brought a hand to the side of his cheek and caressed it, looking at him.

“Loki, this is my choice.” Loki sighed and shook his head, before looking back at Sigyn and seeing that fire creep back slightly into her eyes. Dear gods she wasn’t going to let up from this was she.

“You’re not taking no for an answer are you?” Sigyn sat steadfast and stubborn.

“Alight…. This is going to hurt. This is a memory from my point of view. You will see, smell and feel what I felt.” He said, rubbing reassuring circles on the back of her hand. “You will essentially be me.”

She felt his Seidr envelop her gently, reassuringly, and slowly bring her to the brink of unconsciousness before she finally lost the ability to hold on to reality and let herself slip into dreams. 

The first thing she realised was that her throat burnt. Not in the sort of way when one has drunk something too hot and the liquid slides down, but more like when one’s been crying for too long, and the throat is simply too hurt to continue making a sound. Either that or screaming.

Sigyn opened her eyes and found herself in one of Asgard’s white prison cells, completely naked, the walls now dirty with small red splats and lines decorating almost every corner. The stench of blood was almost unbearable, washing through her nostrils and making her feel an overwhelming nausea which overtook her completely, and made her dizzy. Of course it was not her whom was naked or fearful, it was Loki. It was Loki’s fear, it was Loki’s body to whom the pain would be inflicted upon, and yet it felt like hers, far too real.

The chains which had rubbed her arms raw were wrapped as tightly as possible, every little movement bringing a small trickle of blood from her wrists. Of course, the chains seemed to be created simply to repress magic. The entire situation seemed designed to degrade and diminish as much as possible.

Sigyn wanted to relax, wanted to stop struggling against the chain, but some sort of fear was keeping her in motion and making her willing to escape even to her own detriment, and yet it hurt, and stung, and rubbed and ruined the skin around the shackles.

“Stop struggling.” Her blood froze in her veins, the bile which had been stirring in her stomach was now rising steadily in her throat as fear clawed at her very being, ripping through her stomach and forcing her to be still.

Odin.

She wanted to scream for help, beg for forgiveness for a crime she didn’t know and didn’t understand, wanted to run or even die should it make the pain stop, and yet she stayed still. Desperation was forcing her to do so. If she was still he may hurt her less.

“If you move, I shall let upon you ten lashes, if you cry, I shall let upon you twenty, and if you scream… well we’ll deal with that if we get to it.”

She felt her body tense and disgust filling her. Loki’s disgust or her’s she couldn’t tell. She heard a whip being unraveled behind her, the leather hitting the floor with a sickening thud, before being shifted slightly to better fit Odin’s grip.

A whistle of it being twisted in the air before-

CRACK! 

It came down on her raw back, agony coursing through every single previous wound which still persisted, blood instantly being drawn to the aching cut.

CRACK! 

Again it came down, with more aggression now, building momentum and again leaving a painful cut behind, nestled between her shoulder blades which were already sore from previous punishments.

CRACK! 

Over and over in a repetitive movement it sliced her skin, her entire body begging her to flinch away, MOVE it screamed at her, move away from the pain move away from everything. She wondered how much more she could take of this before she either gave up and took her own life, or the man that raised her to do it for her. How many more times could the whip come down on her body before her body became lifeless.

CRACK!

CRACK!

CRACK!

“STOP!” Sigyn felt herself scream, finally flinching away and trying to make the pain end in any way possible, if not for staying then for begging, however when she looked up at Odin, she didn’t see sympathy, or even a hint of mercy. All she saw was a bearded one eyed man with blood flicked upon his face. Her blood, coating his robes and the almost dripping whip which was rested upon the floor in front of her.

“That’s 50,” His smile was cruel and unforgiving, “Scream more and I’ll triple it.” 

Tears began to blind her vision as Odin walked to the corner of the room towards a little table which had a small assortment of instruments which seemed to still be crusted with blood from previous use. He pulled out a large dagger with a frayed edge, the entire side of it dripping what seemed to be a yellow liquid, however when the drops hit the floor, the white fizzled and burnt, leaving behind black smouldering marks.

Snake’s venom.

Sigyn began struggling against the chains, trying her best to shuffle away even if it meant more whip lashes. Only once had that been used upon her and she didn’t want to feel it ever again. The pain was enough to make her wish for death and then some. She had begged for it.

Odin walked slowly towards her, a cruel grin carved into his features and replacing the kind old man whom had told her stories of different realms and people, who had promised her kingship and encouraged her. This was a monster.

He leaned forwards, the blade following him, and held her neck to keep her still. She still tried to struggle against the chains only to have her air cut off, stopping her instantly.

The knife came closer and closer to her skin, every centimetre separating her and the blade became more and more necessary as it was almost upon her. 

Slowly, Odin brought the blade across her chest, not slicing but coating it with the poison which had all but melted the floor. Sigyn felt pain instantly blind her, breathing becoming difficult and every little movement suddenly placing her in agony. She would take the whip over this for a thousand years just for it to stop.

He pressed against her chest, the blade digging into her flesh and drawing blood which mingled with the vile liquid which was causing her such pain. The poison found itself under her skin, crawling and breaking everything it could find. She could barely feel the burning, it being too intense for her to handle and so her body instead ignored it, until it diluted with he help of her blood, allowing her body to feel every horrible thing it was doing to her. How it was melting her flesh beneath her skin, her every orifice seeming to emanate the smell of burning. She couldn’t see anything anymore, the pain becoming too intense, and eventually she felt herself unable to hear.

She gasped, desperate to try and draw some kind of breath however if not pain, but melting flesh prevented her from doing so. Her very being was completely consumed by the all destroying and all painful liquid which caused Odin so much pleasure. She could feel it rising in her throat, in her lungs and in her stomach. Though it wasn’t truly there, her body didn’t know that and instead felt every part of her in complete and unimaginable agony.

Finally, she screamed.

She awoke back in the forest, no Odin, no knife, nothing. And yet she couldn’t forget the feeling of the poison making its way throughout her body, no, Loki’s body. She doubted that she would every forget such an all consuming pain ever, not even in Valhalla, slain and dead would the crawling feeling of agony rolling over her body would persist.

She felt a small kiss upon her temple drawing her back to reality.

Loki was still by her side, his hands tangled within hers and keeping her somewhat grounded after what she had seen. He removed one hand from hers and wrapped it around her waist, trying his best not to make a movement too sudden, Sigyn clearly still rattled from what she had experienced.

Her breathing was ragged, tearing through her with a need to take in as much oxygen as possible, considering it had seemed almost impossible simply moments ago.

“Loki…” She couldn’t find the words to say. She knew how he felt, could completely understand, and so any question seemed somewhat futile. All except one.

“How could someone do that to their own?” A humourless chuckle emanated from him, completely devoid of any sort of joy in any way.

“Easily, I suppose.”


	22. two years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki realises that at one point he may actually have to tell his brother of what happened to him, and why he did not reveal himself as alive, however as the time to confess draws near, he finds himself almost unable to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST 100 COMMENTS!!!! WHAT???
> 
> anyway here have some fanfiction
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> (I don't know about you... but I'm feeling twenty twooooooooooooooooo)

After Sigyn had calmed down enough to be able to walk without getting lightheaded, Loki lead her through the maze of trees which they had run through, until they finally thinned out and revealed the town, continuing as if everything was normal, but sparing a glance or two at their Queen and her consort.

Thor was currently occupied by around 6 children all clinging to one arm, giggling with glee as he lifted it, dragging them with him with a joyful roar. One little girl kept clinging on as he kept swinging and swinging, letting out a hearty laugh and refusing to let go of the god who was providing her with so much fun.

The little girl finally let go with a breathless laugh, her cheeks flushed bright red and a smile lighting her face. Thor watched her run away back to either her mother or friends as children usually did, to tell them about their encounter with the god of thunder, before he turned and noticed Sigyn and Loki appearing at the tree-line. 

Sigyn’s hand was intermingled with Loki’s, as Thor found it so often was, and held it with a desperation of which Thor wasn’t sure was love, or perhaps fear. As they got closer, Thor could see how Loki was positioned slightly ahead of her, trying to act as a sort of a shield between Sigyn and the outside world, and how Sigyn’s breathing seemed to be a little more accelerated than usual, as well as how her eyes were flicking between Loki and anyone who got close enough for her to see.

They slowly made their way back, Sigyn trying to compose herself somewhat, before spotting Thor and slapping a false smile upon her face. She didn’t run towards him, nor did she make an effort to steer away, yet Thor could tell she’d rather be anywhere but here at the current moment.

They finally ended up by his side, Loki still holding on to Sigyn’s hand, Sigyn clinging back. Rather than initiate conversation and perhaps explain his abrupt and sudden departure, Loki simply nodded at Thor, gave him a quick smile, and began leading Sigyn back to Myrkr, whom was being attended to by Korpr, who was feeding him a carrot currently. 

“Where are you going?” Thor jogged quickly to catch back up to the pair, Sigyn still somewhat tense and fidgety and Loki, as always, protective.

“Back to the palace, Sigyn needs rest.” Sigyn said nothing but the exhaustion in her eyes spoke for her. Whatever had happened in that forest it had clearly taken a very intense toll on her.

Sigyn brought herself upon Myrkr’s back, the horse gladly accepting his rider and letting her get on without haste, however when Loki tried to mount, the creature gave a little jump just to make it that much harder. Sigyn smiled, but it was somewhat empty.

Loki finally mounted, wrapping his arms around Sigyn’s waist, waiting for her to call Myrkr into a canter, only for her to give him a gentle nudge into a walk. Korpr, who had been feeding the steed, gave Loki a little wave, which he returned gladly, before facing the front and drawing his attention to Sigyn, who was staring at Myrkr’s mane, either trying to comprehend something, or simply lost in thought.

As they once again disappeared behind the tree-line, this time in the direction of the castle, Sigyn leaned into Loki’s touch and allowed herself to relax somewhat on her horses back. She let her head fall upon his shoulder and accepted when he pulled her closer, tightening his grip on her.

“Are you going to tell him?” Her voice was barely a murmur, however it was still understood.

“Well, I suppose I have to, I can’t simply scurry off every time he mentions Odin and leave it for him to figure out, it would take him years.” Sigyn gave a breathy laugh, still processing the visions which she had been granted by Loki and only somewhat involved in the conversation she initiated.

“Are you alright love?” Sigyn hummed and nodded. 

“Just thinking.” She replied.

“About?”

“Why did he do that to you?” Loki sighed and leant closer to her, gods this was to be an interesting ride back.

“Because I did something, something not too good which hurt a lot of people, but not of my own volition.” He was tense, waiting for some sort of a reaction.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Loki asked, looking down at her curiously.

“If you want to tell me, you would. I’m not here to force anything out of you.” Loki nodded, though she could not see, and they kept going, still at the leisurely walking pace which Myrkr had chosen for them.

They rode in complete silence, the sounds of the forest consuming their thoughts and relaxing them to an extent. Loki knew that Sigyn was reflecting upon what she had witnessed, completely taken over by the images which she had, for a time, become a part of, and yet all he wanted to do was distract her from such thoughts.

As they got closer and closer to the palace, Loki felt a ball in his stomach begin to form, fear clawing into his chest and panic rising up his throat, for fear that Thor may chose to believe his father over his false brother, and perhaps leave. He had just accepted Loki for what he was, perhaps he could come to terms with where he was a little quicker and with less insults?

He felt one of Sigyn’s hands lay upon his own, trying to sooth him without using her empath powers if preferable. He took a shaky breath inwards and lightly nudged Myrkr, urging him onwards just a little faster, so that escape didn’t cross his mind until they were at least at the palace steps and he couldn’t run away.

Sigyn was somewhat still, anticipating Loki’s nerves and simply rubbing small, comforting circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. He clearly didn’t like the after effect of her calming him, and so she had opted for a less… enhanced approach to lowering his heart rate, and settled for traditional methods of comfort.

“What if he reacts badly?” Loki said, completely out of the blue and somewhat surprising Sigyn.

“Then we’ll deal with it.” He couldn’t help but smile when she said ‘we,’ always thinking of everyone, even after what she had just seen.

As the palace of wood began to make itself known, just 10 minutes away, Loki felt his nerves vanish, probably from Sigyn. Not her healing powers, but rather her simple presence. It was as if he had somewhat realised that she wouldn’t go, would be somewhat ever-present and reliable. As he had believed his mother would always be there, that feeling had transferred to Sigyn, leaving him in a state of complete calm.

She had just watched him break down, kill wildlife and shout to the air about his past, which she had insisted she experience to make sure she could understand. She saved him in a way, not just from Odin but from his own grief and had refused to back down from him when finding out his heritage.

And so as he faced the palace which his brother had no doubt arrived at earlier, he felt no fear but rather a reliance which he found he could never have anticipated, in fact had even feared having, coursing through him. Sigyn, completely unknowing, leaned further into him and simply intensified the feeling. Trust. 

When they finally arrived at the steps, Loki slid off Myrkr slowly and petted him, before making his way up the steps to the throne room, which he was sure was occupied by his previously thought to be volatile brother, however spending time with Sigyn, and seeing how much she needed to calm him, Loki suspected that perhaps he was the volatile one.

He waited for Sigyn to hand Myrkr over to a servant, who gingerly accepted the horse, afraid of the beautiful creature due to its temperament. Sigyn bounded up the steps, settling at the top and giving Loki a smile, though still a little false and not quite reaching her eyes yet, it was better than nothing.

They strode through the doors, hand in hand and apprehensively looking for Thor who seemed to be completely absent, however a hearty laugh from the banquet hall drew them to his exact location within minutes. They walked into the hall to see Thor stood next to Lord Balinire, with a flagon of ale in his hand and slapping the old man on the back, amused by whatever he said. Balinire, never one for jokes, had a face of thunder ironically enough.

When the pair entered, Thor seemed to be instantly silences as he saw Sigyn smiling somewhat falsely, and Loki seemingly completely calm, whilst gripping her hand as if his life depended on it.

“Brother! You took your time.” Thor seemed jovial enough, but Loki couldn’t help but see how his eyes kept flitting to Sigyn and his hand intertwined, to which he realised he was holding her somewhat tightly and loosened his grip by the slightest of a fraction. Thank gods Lord Balinire had the common sense to dismiss himself.

After Balinire curtly bowed to the queen and removed himself to the room, Thor walked slowly towards the pair, Sigyn still a little zoned out and Loki still seeming to be calm.

“So, brother, you said we needed to talk?” Loki nodded, not truly replying.

“Brother, for us to talk words must be exchanged.” Thor jested, yet not a single change of the pair’s demeanour.

“Perhaps we should sit Thor.” Loki said, gesturing to the many chairs around the banquet table which had yet to be filled with any food whatsoever. Thor felt his breath catch in his throat and his heart rate speed up. In all his time he had never heard Loki so sombre.

Thor drew out a chair as Loki drew one for himself and Sigyn, both sitting at the same time, Sigyn right beside Loki, and both facing Thor in front of them. Damn they seemed inseparable, both of them holding each other constantly. He feared for whomever may ever try and set them apart.

“I need to tell you something, something to do with Odin.” Thor saw how Sigyn flinched when she heard his name, ever so slightly yet noticeable. He also noticed how Loki had deliberately called him ‘Odin,’ rather than ‘father,’ as he had done before.

“And you might not like it, or might not believe me but none the less I must tell you.” Thor nodded, encouraging his brother to continue, looking into his red eyes trustingly.

“The reason I didn’t reveal myself as alive was because I barely was. I could not escape, I could barely walk and in fact until I was brought to Sigyn I could barely talk. And this was because of Odin,” he paused, looking at Thor to see an impassive face, not a hint of emotion on it and simply listening, and so Loki continued, “I was whipped first, then as I stopped crying out he moved on to knives, poison, acid, fire and so much more.” 

Sigyn’s hand had tightened around his, looking for some sort of support as the memory she had experienced came rushing back.

“He blocked my magic and slit my wrists, and just as I was to die he undid the cuffs so I could heal, then started all over again.” Sigyn was watching him speak, seeing how he started breathing just a little faster, and how his brow had scrunched as he kept addressing the subject. His voice was cracking slightly and he almost couldn’t finish the sentence.

Loki did not look up to see Thor, did not try and see the disbelief in his eyes when he could already imagine it so clearly. He was waiting for the cruel laughter, the anger or indignant, and yet nothing whatsoever seemed to arise.

“You say he did this, by his own hand?” It wasn’t anger, or confusion, or ever disgust, just pure monotonous impassiveness.

Loki nodded.

He heard a sharp intake of breath from across from him, making Loki tense, afraid of what on earth was about to happen. Rather than a roar of anger, or perhaps a laugh, he felt a hand upon his knee, contrasting the blue of his skin against the white of his brother’s, and a gentle supportive squeeze. The calm environment of the room was interrupted with a flash of lightning outside and a rumble of thunder, breaking through the peace.

“How long.” Loki’s breath hitched in his throat, tears welling in his eyes for the seemingly thousandth time today and falling freely, and yet he still could not answer the man opposite him. Instead his lip shook, and his cheeks became wetter and wetter with the constant stream, his mouth opening and closing, unable to properly speak.

“Brother?” Loki gulped in breath and looked up to Thor, his eyes kind but the storm clouds behind his eyes gave away his fury, not to Loki, but his father, his brother’s torturer.

“Two years.”


	23. unannounced and unwelcome guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Sigyn are made aware of a guest who is coming to asgard soon, and try and think of a way to keep each other close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO I'M BACK WHO MISSED ME
> 
> anyway, have another chapter, hope you like it
> 
> Sophie xxx

To have Thor stay another day was a relief for both Sigyn and Loki, the pair seeing it as some form of an act of solidarity, however the days of rain and storms washing over the palace was somewhat tedious. After the second day, Sigyn had given up trying to go outside and by the third, she all but refused to leave her bedroom. Though the god of thunder’s anger was expressed solely through the temperamental weather, she couldn’t help but be happy that he was angry. Were there clear skies she was sure she wouldn’t be able to trust his concern for his brother.

When she woke up on the fourth day and still heard the pattering of raindrops against the palace roof, she found herself completely unable to muster any energy whatsoever to pry Loki’s arms from around her naked waist. Ragnarok itself could happen in this moment, and yet Sigyn couldn’t find it in herself to particularly care. She was too comfortable. 

Loki was still sleeping, his face set into one of peace as he slumbered. Sigyn could see a small pair of horns still growing from his forehead, soon enough she would have to be careful when she kissed him for fear they might jab her accidentally. Should they grow any further Sigyn wasn’t sure that Loki could actually balance his own head.

He whined slightly in his sleep, drawing Sigyn closer unconsciously to him and snuggling into her shoulder in an attempt to either hide from the sun which had made an appearance, or simply to be closer to the woman beside him. Sigyn did not move, appreciating the way that even in his sleep he tended to want her to be just a little closer to her. 

What on earth was going to happen? Was Odin going to come back for Loki and beat him back into submission in the same way Sigyn had experienced, with a whip upon the back and poison in veins, or would it be worse? Was he just going to leave them in peace? And what of Thor? Would the rain stop one day to the thunderous applause of the Bifrost opening, or would he stay?

“Stop worrying.” A mumble came from below her cheek, where Loki was still comfortably resting, but now awake.

“I am not.” Sigyn said.

“Yes you are your heart rate is increasing.”

Sigyn sighed and shifted slightly so she could look at Loki rather than have him lying somewhat under her. She shifted to be able to face him and found when she did he was watching her, somewhat concerned eyes flitting between her own.

“What’s worrying you my love.” He was still watching her carefully, trying to make sure that she was going to tell the truth, and if not, how much she lied.

“What if it all goes wrong?” Loki’s eyebrows furrowed together, “What if Odin decides he wants you back no matter what, for whatever reasons and I can’t stop it?”

Loki sighed and brought her closer to him, allowing her head to rest on his chest and simply relax somewhat, rather than letting her thoughts consume her. 

She felt his feet nudge hers, trying to intertwine between her legs and steal some element of warmth which she seemed to be radiating in the current moment. She felt Loki’s foot slide gently up her leg, reaching eventually her inner thigh, where the cold was too unbearable and Sigyn gave a squeak and lurched away.

“If that’s really how you’re trying to distract me then I’d rather wallow.” The small smile on her face said otherwise.

“If you’re so worried we can bring it up to Thor when he finally calms down and stops the monsoon outside.” Sigyn just huffed and rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge that Loki may actually have made a good point.

They both got dressed slowly, getting themselves to handle another round of Thor’s incessant question, mostly directed at Loki at first, but when he found out about Sigyn’s abilities the question s went to her more often than not, simply because of her more honest answers. The first time he asked her what Loki felt when he arrived and she replied ‘agony,’ she had seen both men tense.

By the time they were dressed and ready, the rain had become more heavy, hammering against the roof with an intensity like it never had before. Either Thor had woken up, or he had received some bad news, and Sigyn was hoping to everything she believed in that it was the former. Between Loki’s torture vision, his ‘coming out’ in a sense as jotun, the reveal of the torture and the overall emotional rollercoaster ride which was Thor’s visit, Sigyn just wanted some sort of break. One that lasted more that a week hopefully. A month of mundanity, that was all she wanted.

They made their way to the banquet hall which Sigyn had found she spent more of her day in than her throne or council rooms due to Thor’s incessant worry about his brother. She did admit, it was rather endearing to find that someone actually cared.

When they entered the hall, they were greeted by the sight of Thor, with hammer in hand and face of thunder, ironically enough. He seemed to be absolutely fuming at what a servant had just told him, however in true gentlemanly fashion, said servant didn’t seem to be in sight. Lucky for them, because if the subtle burn marks on the floor said anything, it was that if they had not left perhaps they wouldn’t have been so safe.

“My lord.” Thor turned to see a somewhat unimpressed Sigyn and a tentative Loki, who was eyeing the scorch marks on the floor as if they were about to come alive and strangle him.

“My lady, brother.” He nodded to each of them, teeth clenched.

“Would you mind telling me the exact reason as to why my floor is smoking Thor?” Typically, Thor would have made some sort of jest relating to body temperature and actual looks, however the lack of joke emerging from his lips made Loki even more on edge.

Thor huffed through his nostrils, the sound seeming to fill the space with a tension which couldn’t be cut with the sharpest sword in Sigyn’s armoury, which was saying something, those swords were sharpened an polished every day. Loki and Sigyn followed in suit, drawing a chair close enough to Thor that they could interact properly, but far enough that if necessary, they could make a quick getaway.

Thor was tapping his fingers heavily against the table, every hit reverberating around the room and causing Sigyn to shudder. Gods she hated how he seemed to simply stew in his words rather than spill them and get it over with.

He tapped his finger over and over again, and with each tap Sigyn found herself becoming more and more agitated, until finally he gave one last tap and she felt her patience snap.

“Oh for Norm’s sake would you just tell us already.” Thor snapped out of whatever daze had consumed him, and seemed to realise his surroundings and that he did indeed have news to deliver.

“Oh yes, of course,” He toyed with his beard, nervous to continue, “It is a most delicate matter My lady.” 

Sigyn simply ground her teeth and sat, raising an eyebrow and trying to prompt it out of the stubborn god as best as she could.

Thor took in a sharp breath and sat facing the pair, whom funnily enough weren’t intertwining their fingers in this instance. No, they were wringing their own fingers together, somewhat nervous of what news could cause such a reaction from the god of Thunder.

“I just received news from Asgard,” he sat, waiting for their reaction to be met with blank faces waiting for him to continue, “Odin is coming.”

Neither Sigyn nor Loki moved, or said a word. Instead they just froze and stared at Thor who was trying his best not to flinch away from the silence which had settled between everyone. He wasn’t sure who would be the first to react and how, and so he had decided perhaps it was better to remain silent and wait instead of instigate anything.

Sigyn was the first to react, drawing in a sharp breath but still remaining frozen, save for one of her hands which as searching for Loki’s. He accepted and held hers tight, trying his hardest not to allow the frost which had become all to familiar to him, spread around the already ruined wood floors.

“Loki?” Sigyn whispered still not moving much. Loki replied by giving her a light squeeze of the hand signifying that, whilst in shock, he was somewhat ok.

“So he’s coming.. when exactly?” Sigyn asked. She wasn’t processing the information properly and her brain had gone into autopilot, going through the typical questions she was required to ask in that type of situation.

“We don’t know specifically, but apparently there was a raven last night that said within the next week.” Of course it did, why would Odin ever be specific? Its not like this would keep the two up at night waiting for his imminent arrival. Its not like it would be leaving a weight upon their heads. Not at all.

“I’ll leave you two to… discuss.” Thor stood, bowed and walked away, leaving the pair in complete silence, staring into thin air.

The cogs in Sigyn’s head were turning, working at light speed to try and think of a way either to deter the Allfather, or stop him from arriving all-together. Though you can’t stop the Bifrost, so no matter what happened he would end up upon their doorstep.

Sigyn thought back to every single time she had thought the word inseparable, every time a foreign representative had told her of unbreakable political unions and what they entailed. Of course, marriage was the main one, being found to be something which foreign unions could not argue with, however there was a reason that so many people on Vanaheim did not get married. It was painful, dangerous and ever binding in a way which would not be undone. It physically merged souls together and made you feel everything your partner did, made them literally a part of you. Of course this would be a very much unbreakable marriage, however the cost was great and to be honest, Sigyn wasn’t sure that Loki would want to partake in such a thing.

Perhaps that as a last resort then… a truly desperate last resort.

The more she thought though, the more the idea appealed to her in how it would benefit them. Sigyn and Loki would essentially be unable to be separated, politically or emotionally. Whilst if they did fall out of love they would still be joined, which would be a problem, however she tried as hard as she could to seek an alternative. Loki, if needs be, could plead asylum among the Vanir, which would allow him protection from the Asgardians if necessary, however for that to happen he would have needed to commit a crime.

“Have you ever committed a crime?” Loki tensed. Clearly he had.

“Loki if you have, you need to tell me and I can offer you Asylum.” He remained completely stoic, either not wanting to answer, or not able to.

He kept watching ahead, trying to avoid eye contact and holding in any sort of remark by clenching his jaw. Sigyn wondered how many headaches he must get from the constant clenching of his jaw, and shedding of tears. Surely dehydration and strain must cause migraines like no one would believe.

He seemed to be thinking just as Sigyn was earlier, in silence and in his own head, refusing somewhat to voice with his thoughts. That was until he tugged at her hand slightly, prompting Sigyn to look at him. She turned to see his brow scrunched and his mouth now open slightly, leaving him looking somewhat perplexed.

“What if we were to marry?” Dear gods why did he have to think like her.

“No.” Loki turned to her, confused slightly. Sigyn just laughed and shook her head.

“Why on earth do you think most people here are bastards? To get married here is painful.”

“So I’ve heard from most realms.”

“No Loki this is no joke,” Loki stopped jesting, paying close attention, “it is physically painful to get married. Here it is no fancy affair that is simply by law, it is a merging of souls. You would be bonded to me for life and such a creation of a bond takes over a day, a painful day, one day of screaming and going in and out of consciousness.”

Loki nodded, reflecting upon what he had been told. Overall marriage here sounded like a sort of magical rather than the mundane union which kept people together in Asgard. Something that held people together forever rather than a breakable contract. Overall it seemed more… well permanent.

“Is it worth it though, in the long run?” Sigyn turned to him, shocked, before her face settled into a gentle smile. 

“I suppose so, yes.”


	24. Marriage, well alright then.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a nightmare which forces Sigyn and himself to see things in a different point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo who wants some ANGST
> 
> here have a little pain and some hate, and hell some problems
> 
> Sophie xx

Loki could hear screaming.

He wasn’t sure where it was coming from, or even who’s it was, due to how distorted it was by the passage through the hallways, but whomever’s it was, they were in more pain than most could survive. The sound bounced off every wall and made the space reverberate slightly, every little grunt knocking between the cells of the prison and making everyone scuttle in nervousness. This was Asgards prison.

Of course he was in the prison, where else would he be?

And yet there were no chains around his wrists, no knife in his gut, no wounds on his back and no cold blowing upon his bare skin. He wasn’t the one being hurt this time. So was this not real? Perhaps it was a nightmare, for it took place where he feared most, and yet it wasn’t him being hurt. So who?

Loki continued down the corridor, taking twists and turns to wherever the bellows and shouts seemed to be the loudest. eventually, as he got closer, he began to hear the cracking of a whip, making Loki wince in sympathy. Whomever was on the receiving end was getting all that Odin could give. 

The whip cracked down again and again and again without fail, with the wrath of a vengeful deity behind it every time. Eventually, when he was close enough to figure out where the cell was with only the crack of the whip, the screaming stopped. Lord knew that Odin was still whipping, and yet his victim had given up on all hope of being heard once and for all. The only thing which Loki could truly hear from them were small, shallow breaths followed by sharp intakes every time the whip cracked.

As he got closer to the cell, Odin came into view. His usual robes untouched by the blood which had stained the walls, coating almost every surface and leaving a faint memory of what white walls hid behind it. The feral look in his eyes told Loki he had been at this for hours, the red slowly soaking through his sanity. His teeth were bared and his jaw clenched, making him look that much more terrifying to passers by. 

As Loki kept walking, the victim came into view. 

It was a female, with white hair which seemed to be held down by grime and blood. The hair seemed to be trying to curl, but it couldn’t due to the tangled and overall mess it was in. It seemed to hide her slightly and make her entire body seem odd, he supposed that it would have blended in with the white walls, when they were still white of course. 

Her body was broken. Marred with scars and crevices where skin must have once been, and yet all he could see was open wounds. It seemed she had given up on healing and had instead forced herself to simply waste away through the continue exposure to such brutish methods. The blood trickling down from her cuts seemed to have stained the skin below, some of which didn’t seem to have a drop on it and yet glowed in an odd, orange fashion. 

He could see her body trembling. From cold, lack of sleep or lack of food, well no one ever knew. Sometimes it was all, sometimes it was two or one of those reasons, and sometimes it was just out of pure fear. Loki could see other places where she had been mutilated, her arms had large scars running from shoulder to elbow, ragged and zigzagging over each other in a manic fashion, as if Odin had just grabbed a knife and carved. The problem with Aesir was that their skin is thick, and their healing quick, and so trying to leave scars took effort. Trying to leave those types of scars however, seemed to have taken months.

He walked closer to the cell tentatively, flinching back slightly to the sound of the whip and the gleam in Odin’s eye, until he was finally near the victim. Head still bowed and hair still covering it. The only area in the room which did not have any blood was below her, that area however was wet with tears. How she still had enough water in her body to cry was beyond Loki, and yet another dropped to the floor.

Another time, the whip came down. This instance, harder. The victim gasped in pain and lifted her head to draw in a ragged breath, finally revealing who she was. 

Loki jumped back, seeing the woman in front of him with two scars running down her face. The scars went from forehead to chin, not being interrupted by anything, not even the eyes which had now gone a milky white from the blindness that had taken her. Still they searched for the source of the noise, for the person other than her torturer. 

Loki felt disgust clawing at his throat, trying to burst through and making him choke, tears making their ways to his eyes and fogging his vision. The woman turned to look at his general direction, her haunting gaze, though nonexistent, still somehow managed to bear into his.

“Loki?”

Loki awoke with a start, his breathing heavy and a cold sweat enveloping him in every place he could think of. He turned instantly to his side and saw her. Not with scars, not with white hair or milky eyes, but Sigyn. Sigyn with her beautiful red hair, eyes opening gently at being disturbed from sleep to reveal the rainbow of colours behind her lids, and a completely smooth skin which was not marred and mutilated, but simply there.

“Loki?” Thank gods she was alright. Her voice didn’t croak, or crack, or sound weak from screaming, but instead was a gentle mumble from sleep.

Loki felt relief flood him, calming almost every nerve in his body and relaxing every tense muscle. He leant down and brought his lips to hers simply for affirmation that this was, in fact, real, and that Sigyn was there, healthy and happy, just a little sleepy. She kissed back gently, bringing one hand upon his cheek and caressing it, before he broke apart from her.

“You’re alright.” A small smile had graced his face and he was looking upon her lovingly.

“Yes I’m alright, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Nightmare.” Loki replied, not bothering to elaborate in any way, and instead wrapped his arms around her waist and brought Sigyn into his chest, bowing his head down and giving her a small kiss to her shoulder. No knife wounds or scars present.

Sigyn sighed and accepted the gesture, leaning back into him and allowing him to trace small pattern up her thigh, as he did when he was thinking. His fingers progressed up her hip and eventually settled upon her ribs, still tracing, still thinking.

“What if we did get married?” Sigyn tensed against him, the prospect of marriage always having terrified her considering how, when people did get married, it was both forever and painful. Well, painful for a few days but forever for well.. forever.

“Loki you’ve just had a nightmare is now the best-“

“Sigyn,” Loki said firmly, wrapping his arms tighter around her and nuzzling her neck, breathing lightly against it, “I can’t lose someone else.”

Sigyn felt her breath hitch, sudden understanding crashing down on her. Of course, she was the one he was having a nightmare about. If it hadn’t caused him so much anguish she might have been touched. Loki had lost everyone, from his mothers love, to the illusion of his father, his brother for a time and even the person he used to be, and so instead of allowing another importance in his life, another love dissapeare, he would rather face pain and eternally bound madness together rather than watch them slip away.

“We’ll talk more in the morning.” She felt him smile against her shoulder, a true smile.

“That sounds like a maybe.” He said.

“Maybe.” She replied.

They both lay in silence, not wanting to fall asleep. Loki for fear of another nightmare, and that Sigyn may not be there when he woke up, Sigyn due to a buzzing mind which refused her rest. Eventually though, sleep overtook Loki. Sigyn could tell by how his arms wrapped around her relaxed slightly, and eventually completely. Still present but very much unbothered.

Sigyn felt her hand fall upon his, rubbing a thumb reassuringly upon it even though he wasn’t aware of such a touch. Perhaps it would be alright. In some odd and weird way, eventually everything would work out, Odin would leave and everyone could just go back to their normal lives. Of course, that wouldn’t happen, Odin would come and try and control the situation, Sigyn would fight back and of course, chaos would ensue because technically, she had no right over Loki as a claim. As much as it disgusted her to refer to him as such, she was sure that was simply how Loki was seen by Odin.

Perhaps marriage was the way to go. After all, she did love Loki, enough so to share in his traumatic memories, protect him from his rampant father and remove negative emotions for his own wellbeing, why not have a traumatic memory which involved the both of the, rather than just one of them?

Marriage. Well alright then.


	25. the road less traveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn decides that if she wants to protect Loki, truly protect him that is, she's going to have to do something very painful, very stupid and something she can literally never get out of, ever. 
> 
> She was going to have to get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK
> 
> GUESS WHAT I'M NOT DEAD
> 
> anyway here have some pain 
> 
> love you all!
> 
> Sophie xxx

When Sigyn woke up, she wasn’t sure if she was elated or terrified by the prospect which had been set up before her. Get married, a horrible union which ended painfully and left two people feeling more intensely than usual, and considering Sigyn’s abilities that would be more of a problem than even. On the other hand, a union which physically and magically could not be undone and kept them both connected with each other in a way which could never be compromised. In terms of Odin’s visit, it was a foolproof plan which meant that no matter what happened they could find each other. 

Loki shifted on her bosom, getting more comfortable and settling back into the light slumber which he seemed to be in. If they were bonded, what would he do when she woke up, and he felt her incessant worrying? Probably laugh and give her a kiss on the forehead and dismiss hear fears.

“Loki?” No response.

“Loki?” He groaned and nuzzled closer into her.

Sigyn smiled and draped her arm around his back allowing him a few more moment’s rest. Having been woken up by a nightmare he needed at least the few more moments sleep which she was able to grant before Amora would come in with breakfast.

Loki turned his head further in her bosom, and she felt the horns which had come through just a few days ago making themselves known. Thankfully not painfully. They were simply there. If they wanted to do this, they would have to do it today. Odin would be along any time within this week, maybe even tomorrow, and so committing to this as soon as possible would be the best choice. Sigyn could easily arrange for a high priestess to meet them at the caves, but afterwards at least two days would be needed for recovery. So long as they were bonded, and the ceremony went well, there was nothing Odin could do, recovering or not.

“Loki, I’m sorry but as your pillow I must request a leave of absence.” Loki whined and looked up at her, his red eyes somewhat pleading.

“But why?” He said, pouting slightly.

“Because if you want to get married then I need to make arrangements before the sun is in the centre of the sky.” Loki gave her a dumbfounded look, completely shocked that she would actually consider his offer.

“What? You gave me a mutually beneficial offer which overall solves many major problems. Its a good plan.” She said, keeping a somewhat straight face at the sign of her beloveds features in complete confusion.

“So you want to get… marries?” Sigyn nodded and saw Loki’s face break out in a grin, all encompassing and completely infectious. 

“But to do so you’ll have to get up now, I’ll have to confer with the high priestess and we have to ride to the caves of Einn and then it will take a few hours for the spells to set in. So we’ll have to go within the next hour.” 

Loki nodded enthusiastically and jumped out of bed, practically diving for the bathroom trying to freshen up. Sigyn on the other hand opted to take her time, knowing that this would be the last time for a few days that she would walk, talk and sleep comfortably. And so she moved slowly, appreciating every little detail of motion. How her back clicked when she stretched, and the satisfying feeling of the stretch finally ending, removing elements of drowsiness from her body. She finally shuffled to the end of the bed, allowing the silk sheets to fall off of her effortlessly before slowly making her way to the wardrobe, choosing the dress which was least likely to be missed, considering that their clothes would most likely be ruined.

She heard the bathroom door open behind her, and heard the wet pitter patter of feet walking behind her and eventually ending up right at her side. She could tell that he was elated, but after today she wasn’t sure how happy he would be about the union. She remembered the first time her mother had walked her past the caves, and the screams she had heard from within. Almost as bad as torture. Almost. She turned to face Loki, bath towel draped at his hips and water still clinging onto his skin. Somehow not freezing. 

“Are you sure about this?” He nodded, still somehow smiling.

Well, best get it done then. 

Sigyn gave him a quick peck on the cheek and walked out of the room, readying herself to find the nearest high priestess within the palace and hoping to every being that she would be able to complete the ceremony by today. Of course, it would be an almost impossible task to both find and convince the priestess to do such a thing, and yet she had to try. And so when she stumbled into Freya, who was cutting herbs from the garden, it was almost like a blessing. Though Sigyn had been through enough to know that such things didn’t exist.

“Freya!” Freya looked up to see the queen walking to her with a tentative smile. She gave a quick bow.

“My queen.” She said.

“Freya, I have a favour to ask of you.” The priestess looked her up and down, trying to determine what the favour was, and why exactly Sigyn was so tense.

“I need you to marry me and my consort.” Freya let out a snort of laughter, feeling an indignant giggle bubble up her throat and tint her cheeks red in humour, and yet when she looked at the queen, who had a neutral mast resting upon her face, her demeanour instantly changed.

“Gods you can’t be serious.” Sigyn nodded. “Dear sweet-Sigyn you do know what this means, yes?”

Again, Sigyn nodded, not giving any emotions or reservations which she may hold about the subject away. 

“I will be at the caves in an hour, if you are to come then come, if not send someone else to do it.” She said frankly, not willing to waste the time which drew Odin nearer. She hoped to the stars that the Asgardian gatekeeper happened to miss this one interaction. Though she should only be so lucky.

She strode towards the stables, eager to get this over with as quickly as possible, and that started by getting her horse ready. Myrkr was already frisky in his stall, his hooves beating against the floors leaving small chips in the stone and pushing the hay which they had laid for him and his comfort aside. He was tossing his mane and seemed to dance around the space, until he saw Sigyn, and instead gave a quick whine before seeming to gesture her forwards. Sigyn complied and took small steps towards him, before holding his snout in her hands and giving it an affectionate rub. He seemed to calm at her touch, and instantly stood stiller, wanting her to keep petting him. 

“Oh Myrkr, what am I getting myself into.” The horse huffed in reply.

Sigyn shook her head and went for the supplies cupboard, drawing out a saddle and reins, which upon being spotted by her steed, he began to huff and pant in protest, not wanting to have such restrictions upon him. Sigyn just rolled her eyes and put them back, knowing this was one fight she would never win. instead, she drew out an apple in her palm and brought it up to his lips, where he eagerly accepted the treat.

“Perhaps he isn’t truly as much of a beast as I thought he was.” Sigyn turned to see Loki in a fine gown, with small embroideries of gold upon the neck-line and sleeve openings. It went from pale peach into a gorgeous teal which Sigyn was almost upset he was wearing, considering that if he didn’t take it off it would most certainly be ruined.

“Well, since you’re so fond of him, hop on.”

When they finally left the stables, Sigyn clinging to Myrkr and Loki to her, Sigyn had almost forgotten her initial fear of the ceremony, instead relishing in the feeling of the wind once again sweeping her into its sharp embrace, and swiftly pushing out any negative feelings she may have. Loki’s cold arms around her waist made her enjoy the ride twice as much, his chest upon her back and his cold lips upon the crook of her neck as she let the feeling of exhilaration take her from the present. However as soon as they passed the town centre and rode back into the forest, the feelings of fear and apprehension returned at full force, making a wave of nausea rise up within her. 

Myrkr’s hooves slowed as he followed a path less traveled, the trail which would have, in the past, been noticeable and brown from overuse, was now overgrown with wild flowers, however the rare appearance of crystals growing up from the ground aided them to find their destination.

As the clusters of crystals became denser, Sigyn found that Loki had begun to grip her waist more tightly, perhaps in fear or anticipation, Sigyn couldn’t know, for she had found at a young age that if one was to turn to face the person behind them on a horse, the subsequent face full of dirt was the turner’s fault. So instead, she leaned into his touch in a hopefully reassuring manner, affirmed by how his body seemed to relax a little. 

When they finally found the mouth of the cave, the crystals had all but shielded them from the midmorning sun which had risen higher into the sky upon their journey, and instead cast light beams of pale pinks and lavender upon the grass below them, leaving a truly magical environment. At the entrance, Sigyn saw Freya standing with her ceremonial staff in hand, and her cat at her heels, lacing itself between her feet. Each one of its eyes seeming to be a different colour, and yet neither of them could be places as one specific hue. 

“My queen.” Sigyn simply nodded, and walked to the mouth of the caves of Einn, only to be stopped by a hand from Freya.

“I hope you know what this means.” She cautioned. 

Sigyn defiantly looked into her eyes, only to find the hand upon her chest dropped and let her through towards the darkness. Loki, unsure, followed Sigyn into the shadowed depths of the cave. As they ventured further forwards, Loki found that he could see a small blur of light becoming more and more apparent. As they got closer and the blur became more defined, Loki could then see that at the ceiling of the cave was a large collection of crystals, with one massive one dangling in a seemingly precarious position above a small pool of water below, the drops of water which were sliding off the crystal’s point seeming to create a rainbow of colours as it fell from the ceiling. As it hit the water, the drop would send a dye of multiplying hues through the water, never fully saturating the liquid before the colours eventually faded. The water, however, seemed to have the same pink, purple and blue hue as the ground outside, however rather than the light shining above the crystals, it came from below the pool, and below the crystals, casting a beautiful dance of beams upon the ceiling above.

Sigyn turned to Freya and nodded, ready for what was to come.

“It is my duty to caution you, are you sure you want to go through with this? The effects are everlasting, no matter distance, denial or death, you will forever be bound. You will forever be within one another in both the best and worst sense, and to do so there is an unimaginable pain to complete the spell, are you both willing participants within this?” 

Neither Sigyn nor Loki needed conformation from the other, as they both nodded in sync. Freya sighed and rolled her eyes, muttering something about stubborn royals. Sigyn began to pull her robe off, letting the fabric slide easily off her body before pooling on the ground. She then slid into the crystal pool completely naked, and waiting for Loki to do the same. When Loki followed suit, he found that when he entered the pool, the crystals were, though in appearance, not sharp in texture, and rather seemed to be unable to harm him. He also found, that when at the centre of the pool, his feet were in no way capable to touch the bottom, not even graze it, and so they were left suspended within the water. Neither of them however had to paddle or do anything to remain afloat, it seemed gravity simply wanted them aloft in that particular area on the surface of Vanaheim.

Freya stood in front of them and raised her staff, her cat still weaving between her ankles, before whispering a few words in an ancient tongue, to which point the crystal above them lit with a searing light, almost blinding the pair in the pool. The light slid into the next water droplet and seemed to stay upon the edge of the crystal, dispute being full enough to fall, until Freya brought her staff down and the drop fell with it, landing in the water with an anticlimactic ‘thoink!’

Loki could see Sigyn tensing, preparing for whatever was about to hit them, yet nothing seemed to be happening, until the dye like spreading of the light within the water brushed against her and her body suddenly jerked backwards, her eyes facing the ceiling and going completely white. Before Loki could realise what was going on, the spreading dye brushed against him and his body reacted in kin. Freya looked upon the two, completely entrapped within the spell. She gave a small smile, before uttering the fateful words:

Hér eõa ávalt, á allr sál, vera binda at einn.

Korpr hadn’t meant to be near the caves that day, but he had seen some very pretty flowers there recently that he had wanted to pick for his friend, Fagr, who had spoken to Loki for him when he had been to shy to. He knew how much shel liked blue, and he had seen a lovely wild, lavender flower which would have made her ecstatic. As he picked the flower, however, he heard agonised screams coming from the caves of Einn, which Amma and Appa had told him to never go near, and so instead of investigating he ran in the other direction, flower in hand, straight to home. As he rushed into his parents cottage, he ran straight to his mother, Amma, and told her of the wails coming from the crystals there. He saw his mother and father share a knowing glance, before looking back down to their son, and simply saying that it wasn’t the crystals, it was the ceremony. 

“What ceremony?” Korpr asked.

His mother shook her head slightly, before bending down to match his eyeline.

“Marriage, my boy, marriage."


	26. pain and pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Sigyn are finally married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HOW'S LIFE THATS GREAT GOOD OK LETS GO
> 
> here's another chapter for you lovelies,
> 
> love all of you, hope you're all feeling well and happy,
> 
> Sophie xx

By the end of the ceremony, both Sigyn and Loki were both barely afloat within the water, and very much thankful of the odd gravity within that certain area. If not for their suspension, the two of them would have surely drowned within the pool. How long the ceremony had lasted, no one involved could say for sure, Freya simply knew that the midmorning sun had been replaced by the moon and the stars. Sigyn was panting heavily, the ceremony having taken a lot out of her, and Loki seemed to be falling unconscious slightly within the water, and yet when Freya’s staff tapped the ground, ending the pain, she could clearly see their bodies finally relax after hours of the constant barraging of their senses. 

Sigyn was the first to drag herself out of the pool, collapsing on the ground face up and staring at the light which the ripples in the water left on the ceiling on the cave. Her entire body-no, not her body- her very soul was aching from the experience, flushing both hot and cold after being seared to another’s for all of eternity. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly and Freya could see the queen’s heavily dilated pupils completely unfocused on her surroundings. Oh her forearm of her left arm, there was a small burn which almost looked like a mark from lightning, where the spell had first enacted. Loki’s would probably be in a similar area, forever demonstrating their binding to each other.

When Loki finally did drag himself from the pool, he instantly found Sigyn, and lay next to her, resting his hand upon hers and finding that the burning feeling within him seemed to be soothed slightly at her touch.

eventually, when the burning ceased enough for movement to be bearable, they both stood and dressed themselves, before making their way to the entrance of the caves, flanked by Freya and her ever faithful cat. 

“The burning should stop after a couple of days, until then you need to rest.” Sigyn nodded, giving Freya a little wave, before mounting on Myrkr who had been waiting ever faithfully for them through the whole ordeal, before pulling Loki on behind her and giving the horse a little nudge, letting him trot off at a leisurely pace.

During the entire ride, Loki was glued to her, trying his hardest to get the burning to stop, and instead only had it soothed slightly, making him to want to get closer to her, despite the complete lack of space between them. In fact, both of them were so preoccupied with the burning and how to stop it, that they completely missed when they trotted over the Bifrost insignia burnt into the ground, just after the village, and just before the trees which eventually led to the palace. Myrkr, however, found himself trotting just a little faster to be rid of the uneasy feeling which settled over him as his hooves touched the various symbols charred into the ground.

Rather than remain at the trot which Sigyn had set for Myrkr, he began to slowly spit to a canter as the ride progressed, wanting to get back to his stables as quickly as possible without any sort of disturbance. Although he was named after darkness, during the nighttime hours Myrkr couldn’t help but fear for his rider’s safety.

As he got closer and closer to the palace, Myrkr felt himself becoming more and more at ease, until he settled at the front steps in front of the stable boy, Joakim, who would give him sugar cubes when he was good, and was therefore deemed ‘good’ in the temperamental horse’s eyes.

As Joakim saw the queen and her consort dismount, both of them seeming to be in a considerable amount of pain, he thought about telling them of the guests who had arrived, but found himself unable to speak as the pair brushed past him, making their way swiftly to the royal chambers.

As Sigyn gave him a smile, he opened his mouth to tell her, warn her of the Asgardians that would join her for dinner, and yet the exhaustion in her eyes silenced him immediately. Perhaps she would be informed by her handmaiden tomorrow.

He caught sight of her forearm, the burn standing out clearly against her skin, and then Loki’s, where the same burn was in the same place, and gasped. Oh gods this was going to be interesting.

Sigyn barely paid heed to any of the servants who were still milling about, or whom had just woken up to start their duties, and instead made a beeline towards her room with Loki in tow. As they shut the bedroom door behind them, instantly Loki was upon her, dragging her back to the bed, wanting to get some sort of relief from the incessant pain deep within his chest. He brought her close and pushed her down upon the mattress, before capturing her lips in a desperate fashion, before quickly removing whatever clothes separated them and kissing her again.

By the time the sun finally filtered through the curtains, both of them had fallen into a deep sleep entangled in each others arms, afraid that if they let go it would hurt again. When Amora came in at around midday to see what on earth was taking them so long to wake, she caught sight of their fresh burns, like brands upon their arms, and simply lay down a tray of food and left them to sleep. 

As she left the room, however, she found herself confronted by Thor, who was about to knock on the Queen’s chambers. When the doors opened as he was to knock to reveal Amora, he found himself somewhat shocked and taken aback, almost jumping from fright, before giving a laugh.

“Oh, my lady, I must confess you shocked me.” He said, giving her a friendly clap on the back. Amora gave him a smile and held his forearm, leading him away.

“My lord, i’m sorry but the queen is not to be disturbed today, or for the next few days. And neither is your brother.” Thor cocked his head at her, wondering why this was.

“You see, they were married last night and-“

“Oh how jovial!” Thor exclaimed, turning on his heel and making his way back to the room to congratulate the pair, only to be stopped yet again by Amora.

“I don’t think you understand.”

“Oh no I do, they are joined in law and love now, is that not so?”

Amora sighed and brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose, trying to relieve the pressure building there. How to explain such a union to someone who would probably never endure it, and had never heard of what it meant to be married here?

“My lord, marriage here is… different to marriage in Asgard. There, it is more of a ceremony of law, yes?” Thor nodded, “Well, here it is a ceremony of Seidr, where the souls are physically merged.” 

Still, the god looked confused. Amora thought harder, trying to come up with an analogy. Suddenly she was struck with a comparison.

“My lord, have you ever been to a forge?” Thor nodded yet again, still confused.

“Well, imagine the soul it a piece of metal, how would one connect two pieces whilst still not alloying them?” Thor thought for a moment.

“Well, I suppose you would weld them, however that would take a skilled blacksmith and a lot of time and heat.”

“Yes, that is Vanir marriage.” 

Understanding and horror dawned on Thor’s face, as suddenly, all he could imagine was a metal version of Loki screaming as he was melted to a screaming metal Sigyn, both of them in unimaginable pain and both of them enduring such voluntarily. No wonder his mother, whom had been Vanir herself, had seemed to flinch every time Thor had mentioned marriage.

“So they’re in pain?” He asked.

“Yes, but it will eventually settle.” Thor sighed in relief, glad to know that both his brother and his newly acquired ‘sister-in-law’ so to speak, would eventually feel comfortable once more.

“Well, when they wake, could you please give them a message?” Amora nodded.

“Odin is here, and wishes to see The Queen.”


	27. rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Sigyn wake up from their 'Love sleep', as it had been dubbed, and enjoy each other's company, blissfully unaware of the allfather and what he has planned for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So anyway, shits getting REAL
> 
> here have another chapter my lovelies, hope you've been having a good day!
> 
> Love you all, Sophie xx
> 
> IMPORTANT: there is a mention of a rape in this chapter. not the actual act, no graphic imagery, but just a mention.

Across the palace, Sigyn and Loki were rousing from their sleep, blissfully unaware of their guest. Both of them still burning, their very souls alight from their joining, and felt their stomachs grumble at the smell of food, which was both too close and too far. Sigyn found that in that exact moment, she would have been perfectly happy to starve to death with Loki’s arms wrapped tightly around her midsection. That is, if the alluring smell of sausages was not wafting from the plate all the way to her nose. Loki, however, was preoccupied with laying little kisses up her shoulder, not worrying particularly about the food at the current time.

Instead of shuffling towards the smell which was steadily becoming more intense, Sigyn had decided to wait for Amora to come in to either clean the room or perhaps rouse her. Of course, she had no idea for how long she had been sleeping, she remembered when one of her ladies, lady vera, slept for a week till the sickness evaded her. So if she had awoken and Odin had arrived during their slumber, she would not have been surprised in any way.

“Loki?” He gave her another kiss on the shoulder.

“Are you hungry love?” Another kiss.

“Alright, well there’s a plate at the end of the bed so if you want some food we’ll have to both manoeuvre to get it.” A sigh.

Loki shifted slightly, and entangled his legs with hers so any contact which they had wasn’t eliminated, before watching her stretch from his arms and delicately reach for the platter, the covers which had previously hidden her nudity pooling around her knees and giving Loki a truly godly view.

“Stop staring at my ass.” Loki snorted and looked away, waiting for her to return to her previous position, except now tie food.

“To be fair it is a nice ass.”

“Shut up and eat.” Sigyn said, brandishing sausages, eggs, different roast vegetables, bacon and goblets filled with juice. Now that the alluring smells hit his nose, Loki’s stomach growled in protest of being empty so long.

They both ate in silence, Sigyn leaning her head on Loki’s shoulder, which was admittedly a hell of a lot higher than hers, as to not destroy the contact between them and bring back whatever ungodly burning had consumed them previously.

“So, how does this,” Loki gestured grandly to his marriage scar, “Work exactly?”

Sigyn gave a smirk and placed the platter on Loki’s lap, before bringing her right hand to her left shoulder and pinching quickly, letting the sharp pain overtake her, and felt Loki flinch beneath her head.

“We feel together, not just emotionally, but physically too.” She picked the platter back up and began snacking on one of the pieces of bacon, chewing on it thoughtfully.

“So is that why last night felt.. well.. more?” She understood. Usually sex was just sex, you hit your high then keep it going, then its over, but last night was a combination of two highs, washing over the both of them in such a toe curling intensity that neither of them could quite breath for a moment or two.

“Yep.” Sigyn said, popping the ‘p’ for no other reason than emphasis.

On the other side of the door, Thor could hear the general chatter from inside, the couple simply enjoying one another’s company, and found he didn’t have the heart to disturb their moment of peace, so instead he turned on his heel, and made his way to the guest wing of the castle, where he had been staying for the past week.

He dodged servants, guards and other personnel who were shuffling around, trying to accommodate for the Asgardian representatives, as well as the Allfather. He saw one woman carrying a stack of bed linens which seemed to tower above even him, and yet he could not stop. He had told his father he would report back, as he was unfortunately bound by duty to do, and so he would report back as quickly as he possibly could without having to actually engage with the man.

He walked up to the door and sighed, wishing with everything in his being he didn’t have to do this, and yet it was the small part of his brain whispering to him that he did have to do it which brought his fist down upon the wood. A small ‘enter’ could be heard from within, and so Thor obeyed.

As he first entered the room, the first word which came to mind, was underwhelming. For a king, this chamber was too small, too simple, too much like something someone would send a child to and hope the child didn’t notice how boring the room was. Thor suspected that Amora had something to do with the placement, and as he walked through it he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly to himself, thinking of the feisty blonde and her mischievous antics. 

“Thor, my boy, tell me what of the queen.” Not what of Loki, my son, one of my heirs, but the queen and what she was doing. How kind.

“She fares well.” He replied simply.

“Yes, yes well that much I figured but what of her and Loki, is he attached?” Not is he alright.

Thor sighed heavily through his nostrils, trying his hardest to contain his temper and not destroy the room which the king was humorously being forced to remain in for the time being, and probably the remainder of his visit.

“I should hope so, considering how much time they spend together, to hate someone you live with would be an awful thing.” Thor said, glaring slightly at Odin, who seemed not to sense the obvious hostility within the room.

“Ah, love,” Odin gave a giggle, “Never permanent, you see, its fleeting, burns out quickly.”

“Well that causes a problem, doesn’t it.” Odin paused, and turned to face his son, somewhat unsure of why his soon seemed so suddenly defensive of the queen and her relationship to the Jötunn.

“And why, pray tell, is that?”

“Marriage here is pretty permanent, so I’ve been told.”

Odin froze, his entire body seeming to tense in a painful manner, trying to encapsulate the irrational rage which had completely overtaken him. His fists had clenched and his teeth were practically grinding each other to a dust.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY’RE MARRIED!” Odin’s voice bellowed through the halls of the guest wing in the Vanir palace, carrying to the furthest reaches of the building.

Thank Norns that Sigyn and Loki were on the other side of the palace, doing whatever was necessary to rid them of their ‘love sickness,’ or they would have heard the Allfather’s rage. To be married in Asgard was one thing, something that could be stopped, annulled or ended by the signing of a paper, but marriage here was permanent, something that not even death could undo, and could drag your partner down to Niflheim with you or up to Valhalla, to feast with the great warriors. In fact, it was believed that those who didn’t survive the marriage would be sent to the heavens to live in eternal paradise for even attempting such a painful union.

Odin could have sworn that before he left Asgard, Heimdall had clearly said they were not united in such a way. Is that why the queen hadn’t been able to see him? She wasn’t physically in the palace?

Odin huffed and sat back on the chair, facing his son who was standing in front of him, jaw clenched and a somewhat angry glint in his eyes.

“I mean, father, they’re married, and from what I’ve been told, for good reason too.” Odin rolled his eyes. Of course he shouldn’t have relied on Loki to keep his trap shut. He thought that Thor would just deliver the message and leave, not join the entire pity party which seemed to have amassed for Loki in the time he had left the runt here.

“So he told you I see.”

“Told me what, father, that you locked him up despite how he tried to help us? That you whipped him, cut him, burnt, poisoned, beat and broke him? No we seemed to not have discussed it.” Thor’s voice was laced with a venom which Odin had never been on the receiving end of, but he had heard it, when a man had been accused of raping a young girl, Thor had gladly condemned him with the same vile tone which was dripping from his every word now. 

To be seen by his son in the same light as a rapist made Odin flinch slightly, but not out of sadness or despair, simply discomfort.

“I did what I had to do.” 

Thor turned to look at Odin with murder in his eyes, his hammer gripped tightly and his intentions clear as he brandished it towards his father.

“To have to do something, old man, is a necessity, such as surviving. You did it for fun.” At that, Thor turned on his heels and left, leaving behind a somewhat fearful Odin, who only regretted his actions for being on the bad side of his powerful son. That and the queen whom had married his pity case. Gods this would be more complicated than initially planned.

The first queen, well she had been easy. A sword and then done. Of course that was why the current queen had a constant guard at his door, because she had seen. But this, this was complicated. A soul bond could not be undone. And now killing her meant killing Loki. Not that he particularly cared but two monarchs dead in the same week he visits? Now that would be hard to explain.

Odin sighed and sunk further into the chair he was occupying, trying to make some sense of what he would do now with both his adopted son, his blood and his ally watching him like a hawk. He couldn’t simply get her alone, that wouldn’t work, and he certainly couldn’t just walk in the throne room, dagger in hand, and just get it over with, too many witnesses. It was impossi-

Wait. 

A smirk encased the Allfather's features.

Oh yes, oh that would work nicely.


	28. Now, we wait.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn and Loki prepare themselves to confront Odin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm really sorry i've not updated recently, guess who got sick two seperate times in two weeks!!! not fun having a fever,
> 
> anyway, updates to come more than once every two weeks, this was just an illness and exam caused hiatus which probably won't occur again, and if it does you have permission to flood my inbox and ask if i'm dead or not
> 
> Love you all, thank you for being so patient!
> 
> Sophie xx

Waking up after a full week of laying in bed and simply enjoying each other was a hard thing to do. With the link present and humming constantly between them, even going to the bathroom was too much separation for the two. And being able to feel each other’s emotions had proven useful, as it meant Sigyn could wake Loki before his nightmares got too bad, and him with her.

Loki didn’t understand why she had a sudden spike in nightmares all of a sudden. 

Sure she was nervous with Odin being under the same roof as them, however these nightmares weren’t about Odin. Whenever he got brief glimpses of them he mostly saw images of a woman with hair of fire, falling with a sword heavily lodged between her fourth and fifth rib, a cloak billowing around her as her body dropped through the empty space. There was no Odin there, no anything really, just the image of this woman in an unknown location, with an unimaginable anguish flooding him. He didn’t even know the woman and yet when he woke he found tears falling upon his face, tears that were not his.

He suspected that it was Sigyn’s mother, and when she spoke of how she had moved on from the heartbreak, she was perhaps lying for his wellbeing. Every time he woke her she stared to nowhere for a minute or two, before focusing on what was happening, and her husband who was begging her to respond, only to falsely assure him she was fine and then going back to sleep.

He had tried to ask Amora, but instead of answering she made a disgusted face and shook her head, finding herself unable to speak of it. In fact, even the servants who sometimes delivered breakfast found themselves unable to speak of the previous queen. He wasn’t sure if it was because they were prohibited to do so, or that they were too scared.

She had also taken to sleeping behind him, her legs wrapped firmly around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as her chest would lean against his back, almost ensuring her that he was indeed there and indeed safe. It made going to the bathroom very difficult, especially when your wife had the grip of Jörmungandr, refusing to let go unless he assured her that no, he was not going to disappear in the bathroom and never come back. As soon as his body his the covers, there she was again, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. 

Not that Loki was complaining, he actually found it quite comforting. 

It was just that, even though it may be the effects of the spell, he couldn’t help but be worried about her considering how erratic her behaviour had become.

When their sickness had finally worn off, and Amora could tap Sigyn without sending her body into burns, another sickness came, nausea. The pair of them both felt it clawing up their throats as they confronted the thought of having to address the Allfather. He had neither given reason for his visit, and nor did Loki ever think he would. It was one of those things which could not be helped. 

Sigyn groaned and buried herself between Loki’s shoulder blades as the bed curtain was drawn back and the light filtered through their window, the afternoon sun doing all that it could to wake them. Loki had thanked the Norns that the nights were colder than the mild days, if not he would have found Sigyn’s constant presence extremely uncomfortable from the heat which seemed to roll off of her, however that could simply be due to his biology. Sigyn often found herself thankful that she did have his soothing cold, especially on the hot nights.

“Oh come on I do this once, after your sickness, and you’re complaining?” Amora quipped from the foot of their bed, where she sheets had bunched up leaving the pair completely naked. Not that she hadn’t seen it before.

“Too early.” Sigyn said, her words muffled.

“Early? Sigyn its midday.”

Sigyn sighed and wrapped her legs tighter around Loki’s waist as a protest to getting up, which made a small smile appear on his lips.

Loki tried to heave himself up, finding that Sigyn would rather cling to him than have to get up and dress herself, and so when he sat up, she was still there. When he stood, her grip kept tight, and when he walked towards the bathroom to splash some water on his face, she insisted in not moving, perhaps in some odd form of protest to being woken up from whatever comforting sleep had encompassed her.

“Sigyn.” She groaned.

“Sigyn I need to use the bathroom.” She gave a huff and slowly slid off of Loki, first her legs hanging freely and unable to even brush the floor, then slowly her arms relented and uncurled from around his shoulders and let her slip to the ground.

Loki shot her a quick smile before shutting the door and freshening up. Sigyn, however, stalked towards her wardrobe to pick out a set of garments for both her and Loki. She had found that she enjoyed seeing Loki in pastel pinks and oranges, given that they compliment his dark complexion in an aesthetically pleasing way, and drew people’s attention away from the violently noticeable marks which emblazoned across his neck in bright coral, usually after a night of passion. At the current moment, it seemed that no part of his body had truly been spared by Sigyn’s crazed onslaught.

She smiled as she picked out a white gown which was open near the hips, started mid way down the shoulders and would make him seem even darker than he was. It brought out his horns as well, which had grown a considerable amount during their solitude, and had now made him a full 5 inches taller than he used to be, despite the fact that they curled. It pleased Sigyn to know how people would flinch away. At least, just the people she wanted to flinch.

Loki walked from the bathroom and grabbed the gown, smiling fondly at it, before dropping it to the floor and stepping into it, snaking it up his hips and eventually over his shoulders. Sigyn found herself in need of a wash after several days in bed and, well, they had tried to wash but that had just ended up being intimate with a bit of water.

So instead, Sigyn walked to the bathroom, where Amora followed, and gently shut the door, not needing to actually get undressed, and turned to the already full tub where Loki had previously bathed, and slipped in, hissing at the oddly warm water, before relaxing into its embrace.

She ducked her head under and blocked her breath, allowing herself to float in peace, her entire body reclining into the tub and letting her go as deep as she wished.

Loki, in the room, felt a sudden peace wash over him and felt himself able to breathe more deeply than usual. Ah, so she was taking a bath. Loki found himself smirking slightly, reaching to his forearm and pinching hard.

He heard a splash of water and a yelp, followed by Amora groaning slightly.

“Very mature!” Sigyn called from the bathroom. Loki just sent another pinch her way.

He was distracted from his childish torture when a servant knocked on the door, tentatively opening it when it heard a ‘come in’ from the general direction of the bed. Loki thanked the Norns that he had decided to get up earlier than he did, otherwise the poor serving girl who came in would have been greeted to the sight of the queen and her consort, completely nude and uncovered lazing in bed.

“Yes?” 

She stepped forwards, her hands clasped firmly within each other and wringing.

“The Allfather requests an audience with the Queen,” She took in a deep breath of air before steeling herself, “and said he doesn’t want ‘the monster’ to come along.” 

Loki gave her a nod of dismissal, watching her scurry away in fear. She probably expected a dagger in the back, or a chair to the door she just closed, but instead silence followed, except for the small sloshes of Sigyn climbing from the tub.

As she walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and drying her wet curls, she saw Loki, deep in thought at the end of the bed with his hands forming a steeple below his chin.

“Loki?” He looked up to her and shot her a quick smile.

“Odin sent a message, he wants to talk.” Sigyn nodded, fully expectant of this.

“He doesn’t want the monster there.” Sigyn stiffened, her jaw clenching and murder dancing in her eyes. Loki would usually be worried for the person on the receiving end of that look, but if it were Odin, Loki would gladly watch him perish. Slowly, he saw an idea grab her, and she relaxed slowly, a too wide knife’s smile engulfing her features dangerously. Oh she was out for blood.

“Well, let’s go then, though I don’t know how Odin is to have a conference which he does not want himself to attend.”

Rather than walk slowly, sedately towards her throne room, Sigyn had a bounce in her step which could rival the girls which were often caught skipping outside of the palace steps and told off by the squires.

Rather than wait to be announced and walk out, Sigyn marched out into the throne room, which was empty save for one servant waiting for her to arrive so she could get Odin, and flopped into her throne, Leaving space for Loki to sit next to her.

She gestured towards him and he settled next to her, realising that, unlike Asgard’s throne, this one had been designed to be spacious and comfortable, rather than grand and unnecessarily pompous, leaving enough room for both Sigyn and Loki to sit comfortably together.

Sigyn nodded to the servant who scrambled away towards Odin’s guest chambers.

All that was left to be done, was wait.


	29. intertwined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn and Loki confront Odin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO another chapter anyway here have ANGST
> 
> love you all!
> 
> Sophie xx

Sigyn didn’t say anything to Odin when he first stepped into the throne room, refusing to allow him the pleasure of trying to irk her, instead she glowered at him, her gaze making the servant who retrieved the Allfather shiver in his boots. Her fingers were tapping periodically, as if timing how long it took Odin to get from the end of the hall to the throne, each time that her nail hit the wood again, the crack would echo in a way that made it impossible to ignore.

Sigyn could see the sly grin which the Allfather sported under his obviously greying beard, which almost made her shiver in her seat, however she found herself sitting taller as he got closer to the pair. Thank gods this room was empty save for them, it meant if Sigyn wanted to lob something at him she could do so without hurting anyone else. That or she could lob him.

He got to the foot of the stairs leading to the throne, giving her a slight bow out of simple principal before straightening and folding his hands in front of him. ugh, he was going to try and be diplomatic.

“So, Odin, if you would please enlighten us as to why you have rudely taken up space within my guest wing without invite?” Odin gave her a small, but well concealed glare, before setting his face in a somewhat neutral mask.

“I have come to retrieve something that is rightfully mine.” He said, putting heavy emphasis on ‘mine,’ as if he were a child about to throw a tantrum because someone stole his toy.

“And such a possession is?” She replied.

Odin sighed and glared at Loki, who was currently picking at his nails uninterestedly and playing with the cuticles.

“Him.” Loki tensed slightly until Sigyn gave him a gentle push, nudging her shoulder against his, which he sent her a soft smile for. Odin wanted to just stab them both and be done with it.

“Well, considering he’s neither your son by law or by blood, no longer a citizen of Asgard and was, how did you put it, gifted? I’d say you have no claim to him whatsoever.” Sigyn said, glaring down at the man below her.

“He’s mine by right of claim.” Sigyn scoffed.

“Darling, is it me or is it rude to talk about someone as if they’re not in the room?” Loki looked up from his thumb and nodded slightly.

“Extremely rude, the height of rudeness.”

“As I thought.” She said.

Odin cleared his throat, wanting to get back to the task at hand. Sigyn gave a little laugh and patter Loki’s free hand, before turning back to the Allfather.

“I have right of claim.” He repeated, as if he had not been heard the first time.

“You have no right of claim. A right of claim demands that you have been wronged by the party which you are claiming in question, or have some other legitimate claim upon them. As well as how the marriage factors in with that. You can’t remove him from this land.” 

Odin gave her a smirk which made her very skin crawl, her blood boil and any sort of fear in her stomach bubbled up.

“I can if he’s committed a crime.” Loki froze, still stuck staring at the half pushed back cuticle which he had been messing with during the conversation. Odin was still smirking, his face contorted into that disgusting smile which made Sigyn want to punch him. Instead of simply going back to distracting himself, Loki was now trying his hardest to stare at a small, very specific portion of the floor which he was certain was not going to stare back.

Sigyn felt out of the loop, she hated being out of the loop. Out of the loop meant you could be fooled, played and taunted. It was like everyone knowing your cards at poker night and you not knowing theirs. Bad. Loki stood abruptly, turning towards Sigyn and giving her a small, tense bow before striding off in the direction of the garden. Sigyn was left in shock somewhat, staring back at the spot where Loki had vanished.

Odin, still stood in the same position as earlier, cleared his throat once more. Damn he either needed to learn to shut up or a cough drop. 

“May we get back to negotiations?” He said, a smirk betraying the attempted blank mask upon his face.

Sigyn turned back to him, fuming.

“if you are to demand him for right of claim for crimes upon your soil, I can demand right of claim upon you for crimes upon mine.” Odin’s smile dropped and he began to shift nervously.

“Crimes such as?”

“Murder of the sovereign.” She growled. “So if you take Loki, gods help you I will drag you to the pits of Hyrr myself, and watch your skin melt from your face in agony. I will laugh.”

A gulp from Odin audibly made its way through the room.

“You would threaten a King?” He said weakly, his words almost shaking. Sigyn stood and walked towards him in a predator like manner, only ever making it down one step so she could look upon what she believed to be the lowest scum in the entire realm.

“I threaten a criminal with how he will answer to his crimes. From a Millennia ago maybe but still crimes he must pay for.” She spat. 

Without another word, she turned on her heels and followed in Loki’s footsteps, trying not to break into a jog simply to get to him quicker. Eventually, her footsteps came to a halt in front of her door, which was slightly ajar. Instead of knocking, Sigyn slowly walked in and shut the door quietly. She was pleasantly surprised to find no ice spreading rapidly across the floor and no broken items, though it was usually her who found the nearest pot and smashed it against the floor. Instead there was her husband, staring at an open wardrobe as if he had in the moment before been sucker punched in the face.

She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist, letting her head fall between his shoulder blades and giving him a small kiss.

“Do you want to know?” He said.

Sigyn thought, of how he tensed in the throne room, of how if he told her, he could somehow claim asylum, but it depended on the crime. Murder was debatable, breaking an entering, debatable, but things such as crimes against the crown was non-negotiable. Then again she had huge leverage against the old man who was trying to hurt her Loki.

“Depends if you want to tell it.” He relaxed and gave a small smile. Though she didn’t see it, she could feel relief coursing through his system and relieving him of the stress which had been burdening him since waking. She had just assumed it was her own stress.

“No matter what you did, I’ll make sure you stay.” Loki chuckled and turned to her.

“Well I’ve done quite a lot so don’t keep that promise.” He said.

“Well the Allfather’s no saint and I think a crime against the crown beats whatever you’ve done.” Loki paused, shocked slightly, before he made a face of deliberation.

“A crime against the crown?” Sigyn nodded. “What… what crime?”

Sigyn sighed and gestured to the bed. Well if she was going to get into this might as well explain the whole story. They both sat at the edge of the bed and Loki looked at her expectantly.

“A millennia ago, an Asgardian party managed to get into Vanaheim unnoticed. Only about four people, three men and one woman, and at the time the only people who were in the palace were a woman and her daughter.” She took a breath and continued. 

“The woman’s daughter began crying, because she had seidr, and could sense the intrusion, but was still a child and couldn’t understand why she was having a vision of her mother dying, so the woman took her daughter to her room, only to find the party was hiding there.”

Sigyn closed her eyes. She could remember how she had seen them first, how confused she had been as the woman had lunged at her, claws almost digging into her skin. How her mother had tried to fight back, killing two of the party, before finally being pinned against a wall. They could have taken it outside, let her imagination wonder how her mother would have looked, lifeless. But instead they had chosen there. The fear in her eyes, tears falling and begging for her life and her daughters. The knife, the sickening sound of the knife. Then blood, then a thud.

And then screaming. Sigyn screaming, at her mother to wake up, at them to bring her back, at anything. She remembered the murderer leaving, stalking out and wiping a bloodied knife on a red cape.

Sigyn couldn’t even remember if she had stayed long, or if she had run away, unable to stare at her mother’s corpse for long. She just remembered being checked over in the infirmary and not being able to say a word. She just stared blankly at the wall.

Whilst she was explaining, she felt Loki drape an arm around her waist and draw her closer, and let her lay her head upon his shoulder. The more she explained, the clearer the expression of realisation became upon his face. Finally, when she had finished explaining, and one stray tear betrayed her, Loki turned to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Odin killed your mother.”


	30. Me thinks she doth protest too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn has to confront Odin after trying to figure out his plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WADDUP anyway have some fanfiction
> 
> Love you all!!
> 
> Sophie xx
> 
> (30TH CHAPTER Y'ALL LOOK AT HOW FAR WE'VE COME)

For the past hour, they had been trying to figure out what exactly was Odin’s plan when it came to Loki. Everyone had motivation, but they couldn’t seem to figure out the Allfather’s. At first, it was to dispose of Loki and maybe, distract Sigyn for some reason? But the further they went into the conversation the less sense their theories made. Eventually they got around to infinity stones and oof was that an interesting conversation.

“Well, there is a gem known as the ‘Heart of Vanaheim’ which is handed down from royal to royal.” Loki’s ears perked up and turned towards Sigyn, curious.

“A, a gem? What is said about it?” He said.

“It’s not actually a gem, well maybe it once was, but now its genetic. Its how to know if the line to the throne is legitimate. It’s essentially the life-force of the crown.” Sigyn turned to look up from the blanket she had been picking at. “There are a lot of rumours, like how I have the power to destroy planets, and manipulate reality itself, that’s a fun one.”

She looked up, expecting to see Loki’s facial expression matching her’s of amusement, instead she saw him deep in thought, chewing his bottom lip in a way that made her want to bite it for him.

“What’s wrong?” 

“The power to destroy planets?” He said, inching slightly closer to her.

“Loki they’re just stories.” Loki scoffed slightly.

“Stories have to come from somewhere don’t they?” Sigyn sighed and flopped back on the bed, her head hurting with all of the nonsense flying around it.

“Alright, sure, but what does this have to do with infinity stones?” She said, reaching up to trap some of Loki’s har and began to fiddle with it.

“Everything. Infinity stones created us, and so they also have the power to destroy us. I’m not sure if what you have is immense power or the actual stone ingrained with your DNA. We could test it but, well I don’t think you want to blow up Vanaheim.” 

Sigyn made a false serious face, sticking her lips out too far and scrunching her eyebrows together. She sat up and began playing more with Loki’s hair, combing her fingers through it and gently raking her nails on his scalp. Loki leaned more into the petting and groaned, relaxing after the long hour of trying to figure out what the hell Odin wanted. 

“You’re like a puppy, you know that?” Loki scoffed.

“I am not a puppy I am a dangerous creature of ice and destruction.” 

Sigyn gave him a kiss on the nose.

“Ok puppy.”

A knock on the door interrupted Loki in whatever argument he was bout to pose, and drew them from their little bubble, and made them both turn to the oak. 

“Sigyn, Thor’s here.” Sigyn turned to face Loki, his hair half French braided down his scalp giving him an almost elf like look, if not for the horns. More like a hot satan. Or cold satan. Damnit Sigyn answer the door.

“Come in!” Thor barged in with a shit eating grin on his face, his cheeks lit red and his hammer nowhere in sight. He ran straight for the pair, whom almost flinched away, Sigyn felt herself wanting to get out her knife for some reason, and drew them close to him.

“Congratulations!” He bellowed, squeezing the two of them impossibly closer.

Sigyn smiled into the hug, despite how she was beginning to feel extremely light headed, and wheezed slightly, prompting the overexcited Thor to put them both down.

“Are you better now? Does it still hurt? Oh gods tell me it doesn’t hurt I just hugged you and-“ Sigyn raised her hand and Thor stopped.

“yes, we are better, no it does not hurt.” Thor gave a sigh of relief.

“We’re just trying to figure out why your father decided to make a drop in visit.” Thor nodded and turned towards Loki, who had his eyes glued on the back of Sigyn’s head.

“I’ve been saying it was the infinity stone.” He said, keeping his eyes on Sigyn as she turned to face him.

“And you think this because?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure but I think my wife may be an incorruptible source of immeasurable destructive universal power.” Loki said, avoiding a small whack which came his way from Sigyn with a sly smile.

“Ah, that may have something to do with it.”

Sigyn looked between the two, who were giving her some sort of a look she couldn’t quite pin down. Still it made her nervous that she was stuck in a room with two people who knew more about herself than she did to an extent.

“And, we can find out about this how exactly? No offence but I want to know what may or may not be in me and if I can get it out.” Sigyn said, trying not to think too much about what was going on.

“Well, there’s always mother’s books,” Sigyn could feel anxiety build in Loki, though she didn’t need to feel it considering how visibly he tensed, “and we could always ask someone here what they know, considering it is their queen.”

Loki just nodded and kept still, hoping to the gods this didn’t require him to go to Asgard. He was sure that at the first sight of the golden city he would have a panic attack. Sigyn, quickly picking up on this gently laid a hand upon his, allowing him to draw some sort of reassurance from the situation.

“Your mother was Vanir, yes?” The brothers nodded slowly.

“Well, every book in vanaheim is just a copy from the great library, so we probably have the original here.” Loki took a breath of relief and smiled.

“So we go to the Vanir library and search for anything to do with infinity stones or legends involving the royal family?” Sigyn said, waiting on a response.

“Not right now, right now we try to deal with my father, then we go to the library.” 

“So about that, how.” Loki snorted at Sigyn’s remark and turned his head away.

For the rest of the day, the three of them remained within the royal chambers trying to figure out Odin’s plan. Of course the best thing that came from it was that it definitely had something to do with the infinity stone, and had some sort of play involving Loki’s gifting and Thor’s visit, however a concrete plan was completely out of their reach.

It kept coming around to the fact that their marriage disrupted it in some way, becoming the cork in every single conversation. By the end of the evening the only thing that the trio had was a headache and a heavy will to sleep, however dinner had been prepared for them and apparently their guest was waiting for them. When Amora came in to the room and announced that Odin was waiting for them a collective groan was emitted by the entire room.

However instead of whining and just going to bed, Thor went back to his room to freshen up and both Loki and Sigyn changed from their current attire and went towards the dining room, both of them trying their hardest to keep calm, extremely aware of how their feelings could freak out the other.

They arrived to the table set, the food placed and no one there except them. The servants were waiting outside, ears to the doors and trying their hardest not to make any noise. News had clearly spread through the palace that tensions were high between the two sovereigns. If anything was news worthy to the servants, it was the reigning queen of the biggest realm, tense and angry at the reigning king of the one with highest military success. 

Loki and Sigyn sat down at the head of the table, Sigyn in her slightly more intricate chair which was laced with jade in small cracks, and Loki’s had small elements of frost laced in the material. The other chairs were plain wood as was most of the furniture within the palace. 

They waited with bated breath, both of them trying their hardest to be somewhat calm, however as Thor waltzed in with some sort of a poncho on they both jumped in their skins. Sigyn was trying not to feel her Seidr thrumming through her skin, coiling like a serpent and ready to strike at anything which made her feel threatened. Every movement out of the corner of her eye had her on edge, and yet if what Loki said was true, then being stressed could lead to a litter catastrophe. Turns out being aware of the problem does it more harm than good.

Thor came and sat next to Loki, wringing his hands together in wait. It was clear they were all waiting for a certain thorn in their side to become apparent. Of course they didn’t have to wait long until he made himself known, strolling into the dining hall without a care in the world.

He sat opposite Sigyn, giving her a smile which made her want to throw up, before settling in his seat and looking at her expectantly.

They ate in almost complete silence, Odin trying his hardest to start up a conversation and Sigyn trying her best to shoot it down. Conversation meant communication, and that meant information. And whilst she wanted to find the dirtiest secret she could about Odin and use it to tear his reputation to shreds, the only thing she could do right now was sit and eat. Hopefully in silence.

“So, My Lady, how fares your mother?” 

Sigyn tensed, her entire body trying to figure out what she wanted to say in reply. Either that or the quickest way to decapitate him with a butter knife or a spoon. 

“Dead.” She said, looking down at the soup in front of her which suddenly didn’t seem as appetising.

“Oh what a shame, how did it happen?” Sigyn felt her jaw clench and lock, as well as finger nails digging slightly into the palm of her hand. Well, now he knew what buttons to push this was going to be more interesting than her usual dinners. Oh how she wanted to make a remark about his wife but she knew how that would hurt Loki. So not for today.

“A small gathering of troops broke into the palace and slaughtered her.” She said, her words laced with pure venom.

“Which troops?”

“Why does it matter so much to you!” Sigyn had stood and slammed her fist on the table, glaring directly into Odin’s eyes. Small sparks of green were rolling off of her body and the air seemed to crackle with a dangerous electricity which made even Thor nervous, and yet Odin sat, unfazed at the outbreak.

“Because,” he replied calmly, “Should you remember such a thing and happen to let it slip, one might see it as a declaration of war.” 

“War is for children.” She spat back, the sparks becoming somewhat more frequent.

“Perhaps.” Odin said, standing up and patting his lips with the napkin. “Either way, goodnight.”

As he walked out, he could feel Sigyn’s enraged stare burning holes in his back, and he was certain that if it would not result in conflict, that butter knife which she had been holding would have been buried deep in his back by now. Sigyn just glowered, trying her best to remain calm as he stalked out of the room. When the doors finally closed behind him she threw the butter knife with all her might into the oak wood, feeling somewhat satisfied with the loud ‘clunk’ it made when it impaled itself in.

Loki stood up and slowly went towards Sigyn, whom still had little sparks firecrackering off of her every time she moves, and slowly trailed his hand down her arm, until it rested upon her still clenched fist. She sighed and opened it, allowing him to slip his hand in, only to have Loki pull it back quickly at the feeling of liquid pooling within her fingers. He looked down at his hand and saw red staining it, and leaking from Sigyn’s.

“I got angry.” She was growling somewhat, tense as a drawn bowstring.

“Perhaps.” Sigyn snorted and let out a strong breath, trying to calm down.

Loki wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer, Sigyn’s short stature allowing him to rest his chin upon her head without any trouble. Slowly, as he rubbed her back reassuringly, he felt some of the tension deep within her muscles ebb away, leaving him with a Queen leaning against his chest breathing deeply.

“Alright,” he said softly, lifting her head so he could look her in the eye, “bedtime my queen.”

She gave him a weak smile, however this time, unlike every other time, she did not protest.


	31. Chuck is a good show, watch it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn goes for a ride, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyy anyway so have any of you seen Chuck? the tv show? any of you remember sarah? yeah sorry
> 
> so anyway this is the last chapter of this work, which i will be making into a series!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, its been a hell of a ride, hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Love you all so much, stay cool.
> 
> Sophie xx

Sigyn spent the next few days in her room, pacing around and almost wearing a hole in the floor. Of course she wanted to go outside and actually do something instead of sitting in a confined space all day, however the prospect of facing Odin made the sparks begin to roll off of her again, and she knew if she should get too riled up there would be consequences which couldn’t begin to be imagined.

Of course, Sigyn did go to breakfast and sometimes dinner, however the urge to punch her guest sometimes became too much to bear, as shown by the immense indentations in the wall where she had lost her temper, and so, rather than start a war, Sigyn opted to remain in her room.

Loki preferred to go to the library, enjoying being surrounded by books and researching. It felt weird that he was literally studying her whilst she remained holed up in one room, yet somehow she didn’t have the mind to care. Thankfully, their bond held fast and any time that things were becoming too much to Sigyn, Loki would be there in a heartbeat. 

Perhaps it was the weather getting hotter and hotter every day, or perhaps it was simply the fact that Sigyn couldn’t stand being cooped up anymore, whatever it was, it drove her to open her chamber’s doors and go outside. 

She made her way through the halls, thinking about the current situation and how exactly she could diffuse it. Of course, Odin was probably aware now that she possibly was an infinity stone, meaning that she had to watch both her temper and her back, yet as she stepped out into the sunlight, she found herself relaxing and a smile gracing her features. As much as she loved Loki, being indoors for that amount of time was killing her.

Sigyn stretched, allowing the gentle breeze wash over her, before she set out to the stables where Myrkr was no doubt still waiting for her. Sigyn strolled, rather than strode, trying her best to enjoy the peace and quiet of the less intense sun, which would no doubt wash them in warmth and humidity when summer finally hit.

She walked into the stalls, going straight for her prized stallion, whom when she approached began whining for the sugar cubes in the riding cupboard. 

“Alright you big baby.” Sigyn smiled and stroked his snout affectionately.

She felt a small tug in the pit of her stomach, no doubt Loki checking in, before she sent a wave of reassurance his way and smiled when she felt the tug lessen. She walked over to the cupboard and instead of drawing out the reins and saddle, only brought out the sugar cubes.

“How about a bareback ride today.” Myrkr whinnied in agreement.

After getting him out of the stables, she guided him to the courtyard where she found the mounting stool and swung onto her steed. She felt his muscles tense slightly under her before relaxing into the familiar sensation, then tense again as he began to walk to the doors of the courtyard.

Instead of urging Myrkr into a gallop as she so often did, Sigyn took a moment to enjoy the cool of the forest they had entered, and the sounds which surrounded her as she went deeper. Finally, she got slightly restless and nudged him into a canter.

The reassuring pattern of his hooves hitting the ground lulled Sigyn into a temporary calm, where she could simply enjoy the wind rushing through her hair once more and not worry about what was happening in both the palace and around her.

This was interrupted by the sound of another set of hooves.

Instantly, panic stricken Sigyn as she heard an unknown horse whinnying behind her, making her desperately want to urge Myrkr forwards. Clearly her horse could feel her insecurities as he began to gallop, trying his hardest to get out of Sigyn’s undesirable situation.

There was no one calling out to her or telling her to slow down, no familiar presence, this simply put her on edge. As Myrkr got faster, so did the approaching steed. Sigyn felt her heart rate spike with the sudden unknown situation. She turned to get a look at the approaching rider, and as she did her blood froze in her veins.

Upon the horse behind her was a woman she recognised, with hair and outfit as black as night, smirking upon her steed and glaring at her soon to be victim. And yet her steed was not a horse, but rather a gigantic wolf, one Sigyn recognised from the story books she was read as a child. She was being chased by lady death, or an imitation of such a person.

With renewed fear, Sigyn urged Myrkr forwards to try and escape the footfalls behind her which were fast approaching. 

As the sound of paws became as close as could possibly be without being upon them, she felt Myrkr lurch and come to an almost complete halt, hurtling Sigyn forwards, and launching her right into a log which connected with her forehead. The hit instantly caused her vision to swim and her head to ache, as well as blood to begin falling from the wound.

She shuffled backwards clumsily, trying to escape the woman who was now stalking her, as a tiger did with injured prey, watching her futile efforts to stand up, only to fall back down. Her attacker walked towards her, taking Sigyn’s chin in her hands and smirking dangerously.

“Oh, this will be fun.” 

At that, she raised her fist and brought it back down on Sigyn’s forehead, casting her vision into darkness.

***

Loki knew something was wrong. Perhaps it was the random spike of anxiety he suddenly got for no apparent reason, perhaps it was that he found himself breathless despite sitting down, but alarm bells were blaring in his head and no matter what he did they didn’t seem to shut up.

Thor seemed surprised when Loki stood, knocking down his chair and began sprinting outside of the library, and yet for some reason he felt that he needed to follow. Something had happened, for Loki did not run for no reason. He said himself that ‘your greatest weapon is confidence and how you use it,’ so seeing his brother run somewhat alarmed him.

Loki sprinted down the corridor and straight to Sigyn’s room, which he flung to doors to open in a fury, and groaned when he saw the space completely empty.

“Fuck!” He shouted, beginning to run to the courtyard.

He sprinted down to the stables, where the horses seemed to be in a frenzy. Either because of Loki’s sudden entrance or because of whom had been here before. He went straight to Myrkr’s stall and cursed when he saw it completely empty. He opened the stall to one of the closest horses, a chestnut mare, and swung himself on, not waiting for Thor to follow.

At that moment, Odin walked in, looking smug as usual.

“My sons-“

“Oh not now you old goat.” Loki trotted past him, being too focused on Sigyn to enjoy the look of surprise on the allfather’s face.

He spurred his horse into a canter, trying to pinpoint exactly which way Sigyn went. A broken branch here, a hoof mark there, that way! Of course the giant paw marks did obscure most of the tracks making it hard to follow them. however, when he found that most of the paw marks followed Myrkr’s tracks almost identically, his breath hitched in his throat and he spurred his horse into a gallop.

Seeing Myrkr up ahead brought him an immense sense of calm. Surely the steed who was so loyal to his mistress wouldn’t have allowed her any harm? However as he got closer he saw a horrid gash on the horse’s leg, bleeding heavily, however it seemed recent enough to make his leg salvageable. 

Loki slowed his horse to a halt and went up to Myrkr, bringing his snout in his hands and gently caressing it.

“Where is she.” He whispered, looking the horse in the eyes. 

Myrkr didn’t reply in any way, and only shook his head towards a log, which he seemed to have been glaring at before Loki came along. Loki took a few tentative steps towards the log only to lurch back at the sight of blood, coating a small twig which seemed to have recently taken a beating to it. There were a couple more drops on the ground but apart from that, the area seemed to be completely clean of blood.

Loki ran further into the forest, tears beginning to cloud his vision. 

“SIGYN!” He shouted, trying his hardest to control his breathing. Trying not to think about how he couldn’t feel anything from her. No emotions, yet no pain. Just blank. It wasn’t emptiness, it was a clean slate.

He kept running, following whatever tracks he could and trying to keep up with the large bounds the paw prints had taken. Every few steps, a small drop of crimson would be on the ground making his heart ever more heavy.

He ran and ran and ran until he almost couldn’t run anymore, trying to push himself so that he might find her and it would all be alright. That was until he ran across a newly made clearing, which had scorch marks upon the trees and seared into the ground. A symbol he knew well yet hated with everything in him. 

Should anyone have been nearby in the forest that day, they would have quickly been driven out, for not even the birds could sing for days after hearing the screams for lost love.

Sigyn screamed.

She wasn’t sure what she was screaming for anymore, but she knew that it was important. Not knowing made her sad for some reason, an ache which resolved bone deep. Every time the woman in front of her placed her hands on her temple, the pain started again. It ripped through her and made her sob. She forgot why she was crying every time the tears came again but that just made her more sad, that she didn’t know why she screamed.

The nights were long, something she couldn’t control but wished she could. If only she was stronger, she knew she could do something. She should fight back, but why? She was so tired and just wanted to sleep, and yet she knew if she slept that she was going to forget again.

Eventually, her breaths became too short to keep her awake, and her temple went from shooting pain through her to a dull throb, as she had no more memories to give.

She begged, for love, for life, for anything, but eventually, it all faded.


	32. For Fear Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prologue to the sequel of 'For Pity'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waddup, ya bitch is alive and done with a levels meaning that imma be posting chapters to that sequel y'all have been asking for!
> 
> Sophie
> 
> (Ps it will be a separate 'book' of sorts as in it'll be a series sort of thing)

When asked about fear, many had to take a moment to think about what they considered to be their biggest fear. Perhaps it was heights, or spiders, or ending up in a crowded room with no clothes on. Some people had to take years to realise what their biggest fear was, and even then it was usually because it had been realised. Loki didn’t have to think, didn’t have to take a moment. He felt it every day.

He felt it with every whip on her back, every crack of it whistling through the air. He could hear her screams, her begging. How she screamed for him, for his help, her freedom, for her life in some cases. Her sobs ricocheting off the walls which had previously been stained with his blood, and now with hers. That was his biggest fear and it was present to him every waking moment. He knew what her shaky breaths felt like, how her chest heaved and burnt for breath, how her entire body trembled and shook from fear.

But the worst thing was that after two years, two years of constant pain, diplomatic negotiations and begging even, the pain stopped. 

He woke up, bed sheets tightly wrapped around his waist and sweat coating his skin. There was a jarring emptiness in his mind, where sobs had so well occupied, a painful reassurance of her continued life. There was a horrifying peace, a lack of pain upon his skin which crawled from the feeling of blood sliding down it, but not his. There was nothing.

That was the worse moment of his life.

When he couldn’t hear her, feel her, couldn’t know if she truly was alive or not. After so many days of such intense pain, a lack of pain felt like a nothing. A death. 

When Amora came in the morning, to wake him, the room had been destroyed. The bed was in splinters, completely shattered, every single curtain had been ripped to shreds and the glass shards on the floor were coated with blood which still leaked from Loki’s foot. Tears were still tracking down his face and falling constantly on the dirty floor, which had feathers coating it in almost every conceivable area, the blood standing out clearly on their delicate white. He held his left arm close to his chest, staring at nothing, waiting for some sort of sign that she was well, waited for hope. Waited for fear.


End file.
